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[weasleywoman05]

So both of these came across my dash (independently) this morning and I just needed to do a comparison. You know, for reasons…  

I’m not even sure which I’d pick if I had to pick one. Thank goodness I don’t. I’ll just be over here admiring both. ;)

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The Awkward Yeti

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Gryffindors. So smug.

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You weren’t thinking with portals.

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Han is all “there’s to much Vader in him,” without mentioning that there is too much Vader in Leia too. 

Like, Bail Organa, bless his poor poor soul, tried to politician the Vader out of her. He tried SO FUCKING HARD. 

But the fact that she abandoned politics to be a General in the Resistance says a lot about her similarities to Anakin Skywalker. 

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Reblogging myself to commemorate the day. Happy September 1st!

Happy September 1st!

[weasleywoman05]

Turns Out Beastie Boys Goes Much Better With Rogue One Than With Star Trek

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Is there a point when one can have unrealistic goals for a relationship? For Valentine's Day I asked my boyfriend for a thought out (but simple) date day where I didn't have to do any planning, and that didn't end up happening. Should I be mad at my boyfriend for being lazy or am I just trying to change who he is (someone who is lazy and doesn't plan)?

This is a good and complicated set of questions:

Question 1: What should you reasonably expect out of a romantic partner? Are you expecting too much or not enough?

Question 2: How much should a person change when they’re in a relationship? Does wanting anything different from a romantic partner mean that you’re trying to alter his/her personality?

I’ve wrestled with these issues forever. I have always fallen for intense dreamer dudes who have big ideas crammed into their little human-sized skulls. Their heads are so full of ideas that sometimes they forget the niceties of human interaction. I told myself for years that those niceties were part of the problem, that I had been trained incorrectly for wanting them. To think that someone calling me back or touching the small of my back as I go through a door was important was me falling prey to society’s bullshit.

What I was really wrestling with (and this is just me here, I am not talking about you) was picking men who reflected how I felt about myself back at me- men with more important things to deal with than me. My thoughts and feelings and needs weren’t important to me, and they weren’t important to the guys I dated. I made sure of it. All of my questions about what was reasonable in relationships were seen through the lens of “but I’m probably being high maintenance”. The thing is, I’m not high maintenance, and also fuck that term in its ass. I’m not a plant to be maintained, I’m a human being who seeks and gives love like a magician. 

Hilariously, those boys’ more important things they were tackling, like capitalism and greed and conformity, were usually a way to not deal with their own depression/anxiety/addiction/low self-esteem- we were both putting a bunch of vague hypothetical bullshit in front of our own feelings and hoping for the best.

But as the Internet wisely said, get you a man who can do both. There are men and women tackling big heady issues and also kissing you on the cheek because of how the light looked streaming through your hair just now.

What you should expect out of a romantic partner is a sense that you are safe, appreciated, and treasured. Period. That treasuring can take many forms, and here’s where we have to do a little work on ourselves: Part of dating in general is navigating how you like to feel treasured, balanced with how the person you’re dating treasures people. Before you even get into a relationship, you need to know what makes you feel loved. Once you’re in the relationship, you need to communicate what makes you feel loved, clearly and with no “you’re probably going to fuck this up”. You also need to look at the person you’re dating realistically and make sure that how you are seeing him/her is accurate and not a dreamy fairytale that will never be satisfied. It’s a lot of work to do, but it’s worth doing.

Back to your situation, where you asked for a date to be planned and it didn’t happen. I feel for you. That’s a fucking bummer. Maybe it didn’t happen because he doesn’t really care about you. Maybe it didn’t happen because he was trying to think of something amazing and he choked under the pile of options. Maybe it didn’t happen because he is lazy. What needs to happen as soon as possible is a conversation about that date. Here are some talking points:

-What happened to the date I asked for?

-Here is why the date was important to me, which you might not have realized.

-Here’s how I like to show you that I care about you. Do you feel cared about when I do these things?

-Here’s how I see you showing me that you care about me- does this seem right to you?

-Can we make some lists of ways we can show each other we care that we’d both appreciate?

For you, be careful that you’re not just checking for receipts of your boyfriend’s love for you, and that you’re also open to the way he shows love. Pay attention to his actions. For me personally, requesting something from someone I love is hard for me, so it’s very disappointing if it doesn’t happen. But I’ve dated plenty of men who never realized how important that stuff was to me, because I didn’t communicate it. I communicated the words, but not the magnitude of importance behind them.

There are reasonable shifts you can expect in relationships- a new partner says they’re not affectionate in public but is happy to hold hands if it is something you say you want- and there are fundamental incompatibilities between people that can flunk relationships- you feel affection is only expressed in lavish presents and your partner is poor. You don’t want to date someone who you want to change a billion things about to make them “right”. This is a person, not a Burger King order. However, learning to adjust to each others’ needs and wants is an important part of relationships. So how do we navigate between “adjustments” and “personality overhaul”?

What I look for, simply, is if effort is being put forth. If there is communication and effort about what each person wants and needs from the other, that’s enough to bring any unreasonable expectations back down to earth, and show me that this guy cares enough to show me his heart. If you see effort being put forth and you still aren’t satisfied, this isn’t the relationship for you.

Good luck to you. Both of you!  

[weasleywoman05]

Tony Porter: A Call To Men "Tony is the original visionary and co-founder behind A CALL TO MEN: The National Association of Men and Women Committed to Ending Violence Against Women. He is the author of "Well Meaning Men...Breaking Out of the Man Box - Ending Violence Against Women" and the visionary for the book, NFL Dads Dedicated to Daughters. Tony's message of accountability is welcome and supported by many grassroots and established organizations. He’s currently working with numerous domestic and sexual violence programs, the National Football League, the National Basketball Association, colleges and universities around the country. He has worked with the United States Military Academy at West Point and the United States Naval Academy at Annapolis. Tony is an international lecturer for the U.S. State Department having worked in the Democratic Republic of the Congo, United Kingdom and Brazil. In addition, he has been a guest presenter for the United Nations' Commission on the Status of Women and has been a script consultant for Law & Order: Special Victims Unit." - (x)

[weasleywoman05]

If Snow White literally had “lips red as a rose, hair black as ebony, and skin white as snow,” she’d look like a walking nightmare.

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Have some faith in humanity!

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how disappointed do u think steve was when he realized there was a president carter who wasn’t peggy

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Zuhair Murad – Fall / Winter 2015_2016

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Lately I’ve been getting most of my pep talks from Mister Rogers.

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Hee hee

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Watch: George Takei sends a message in Spanish about how we can defeat Trump