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New Dark Souls Content

Is awesome. New enemies? New bosses? New armor and weapons? Sure, that's all great.

Mainly though, Artorias is one of the coolest video game characters of all time, and easily my favorite fight in the game.

You also get to meet another of the four knights (maybe the last one, too?), and venture deep into the Abyss.

THIS IS DLC DONE RIGHT.

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Good music for an innovative game. I enjoyed playing it, despite my complete hatred of an "overarching time limit" as a gameplay mechanic (I'M LOOKING AT YOU MAJORA'S MASK).

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Royal Tower (Upper) from Lost Kingdom 2. Yep, still enjoying Kota Hoshino's early work. No matter the instruments, Hoshino still keeps the same sort of style. Lots of parts seemingly doing their own thing that manage to come together into something great.

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Awesome Fat Guys Part 2/3

Today's fat guy is brought to you by the letter F. As in FUCKING AWESOME. Wakusei no Samidare, or in English (and just as nonsensical) Lucifer and the Biscuit Hammer is a fantastic manga that I recommend for its good writing and wide, varied cast of likeable and relatable characters.

It also has my favorite husky hero in all of manga. The "Beast Knights", a team of twelve humans granted supernatural powers and an animal companion, are coming together to save the world! The heroes hear about a new ally, the Black Cat Knight Shimaki Hyou...

A NAME BEFITTING A TRUE GENTLEMAN.

BUT THE FACE OF A TRUE HERO.

So as you can see, he's an overweight, plain looking guy who's rather polite. Shimaki actually has a very complex personality. He's considered very similar to the main antagonist in that he has a great lust for knowledge. His first wish is to see the Akashic Records, after all. He even seems to consider joining the villain when he realizes how similar they are, but eventually makes his own decision to fight for good.

He seems sinister at first, but eventually proves to be one of the most considerate members of the team. He molds his power in a way that helps the others train theirs, and doesn't reveal that Akane may be planning to betray the time in the final hour. He allows the young boy to make the correct decision out of his own experiences. He's easily one of the most level-headed and mature members of the team, and probably the least wacky. He's easily the most intelligent.

Speaking of his intelligence, once he realizes that the Akashic Records is a wish he won't be able to receive, he settles for arguably the most powerful ability of the protagonists (and the villains signature ability to boot).

Now it may not look impressive, but it's an incredibly strategic decision given the rules of the "game". When all of the protagonists die, the world ends. Humans are fragile compared to the giant golems that the villain sends after them, so Shimaki gives the protagonists soldiers to use with the power and durability of the enemy, that can be sacrificed without regret in die straits.

Oh and the golems get stronger with each new one he summons. He single-handedly defeats the most difficult of the golems sent after the team, and in the end he's throwing up things slightly more formidable...

And those are nowhere near the biggest golems he summons near the end.

As a matter of fact, it's flat out said that if he keeps summoning golems, he'll be more powerful than a girl who is borrowing the powers of a psychic god.

Oh and the best part? He ends up with the most attractive female in the story.

SHIMAKI HYOU, INTELLECTUAL, LARGE AND IN CHARGE.

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Palace Theme from Forever Kingdom. Ever wondered what a Kota Hoshino piece sounds like without piano, violin, tons of drums, and rocking electric guitar?

I never did, but I'm glad I know now. A little repetitive, but the central theme is nice, and it's got the kind of busy, layered feeling and non-sensical hazy vocals that defines Hoshino's best songs.

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Awesome Fat Guys Part 1/3

So in my thinking about Aqua and her modest female body type and how that's such a rarity for a male-centric medium like video games, I thought I'd take it a step further.

In most video games, male characters are either incredibly muscle-bound, fashionably fit, or more rarely, skinny (yet still capable of incredibly athletic feats). Where are all the tubbier heroes?! If a heavier character is in the game, then they are usually portrayed as slovenly, gluttonous, greedy, stupid, or otherwise unpleasant. Overweight characters in FFVII? The annoying Palmer, the sexual predator Don Corneo, evil corporate overlord President Shinra. The heroes? All good-looking, toned, muscular or even a bit skinny. Yeeeeep.

SO THIS THREE PART POST SHALL BE A TESTAMENT TO THOSE MEN WHO ARE LARGE AND IN CHARGE. This post'll be about a movie character, the next one'll be a manga character, and the last'll be a video game character. So without further ado...

Chien Po from Mulan is a badass.

One of the 3 highlighted members of Mulan's troop, he immediately distinguishes his badassity upon entering the scene.

When Mulan accidentally angers Yao and looks like she's setting up for a fight, Chien Po steps in, and by way of some CHINESE MONK VOODOO MAGIC gently lifts Yao and recites a mantra that instantly calms his nerves. I dunno if you've ever tried to stop a "MACHO MAN" like Yao from getting into a fight with just words, but that shit ain't even possible. Well, not for you or me anyway, but for Chien Po? Just another day. Chien Po further proves his peaceful demeanor by being the only one of the 3 to not mess with Mulan during her training.

So we've established that Chien Po has a gentle personality, and is possibly some emotion-controlling Buddha, but does he stop there? Fuck no.

Chien Po's a big guy, and there doesn't seem to be much muscle in that belly of his, but during the "Make a Man out of You" musical piece, Chien Po goes from having a fear of water to majestically flipping like an acrobat

Check out around 3:10.

Chien Po must weigh like 800 pounds, but the guy moves with the grace and precision of an Olympic Gymnast. He flat out defies the laws of physics with those moves. So we can safely establish that Chien Po is either a wizard, or the most athletic mother fucker in all of history.

Finally, Chien Po may be a big butterball, but by god he is the strongest butterball ever.

Behold his godlike power at 6:05!

Chien Po rescues everyone, sure, but just look at the physics of it! Chien Po lifts six men, and then proceeds to lift Mulan, her horse, and an injured Shang up dozens of meters without even breaking a sweat. That's easily over 2000 pounds, and it doesn't even faze Chien Po. He lifts a ton without breaking a sweat.

Do I really need to say anymore? Chien Po is a badass. He may be five times the average man weight-wise, but he's a thousand times the average man figuratively.

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Aqua's Fantastic

Because she's such a babe, right?

Jokes aside, Aqua is probably my favorite character in the Kingdom Hearts series. She's a well-written solid female protagonist, which you don't see enough of in video games.

She's arguably the most heroic of the three main characters of Birth By Sleep (only one to become a master, sacrifices herself for her friend, etc), but that's not necessarily why I think she's great. Granted, her basically outshining her male counterparts in every way plotwise definitely does its part, but also:

Her personality strengths are things that are typically associated (for better or for worse) with femininity. She's soft-spoken, level-headed, nurturing, supportive, and responsible. That Terra and Ventus are written as somewhat disobedient, eager to prove themselves, and easily provoked only makes this more apparent.

Her physical fighting style is based on grace and magic. Whereas Terra and Ventus rush and roll around the battlefield, she cartwheels. Terra fights with more brute strength, attempting to overpower his foes, and Ventus is more reminiscent of a young boy filled with energy, darting around with wide unfocused strikes. These mirror their personalities, as well.

Storywise, she's the most adept mage of the trio, and gameplay-wise she has the most exclusive spells. Magic in the games is somewhat linked to intelligence, so it's not farfetched to claim that Aqua is the most intelligent of the three main characters in BBS.

Finally, unlike so many female characters in games, Aqua manages to be attractive, while not being overly sexualized. Look, just work with me here. Her proportions, while somewhat idealized, aren't over the top. Her outfit does show some skin, but it's not too revealing. It's feminine, but not in a way that makes you feel like she was designed more for males to ogle her.

So, long story short, Aqua's my favorite Kingdom Hearts character because she managed to not only be as strong and important (arguably stronger and more important) than her male counterparts, but also because she does it while maintaining, hell, even highlighting her femininity, all without becoming some sexual icon.

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Opening theme from Lost Kingdoms 2. Been listening to a lot of Kota Hoshino's earlier work, since he is my favorite composer and all, and between this, Evergrace, and the Forever Kingdom soundtrack, I must say I have been pleasantly surprised.

This particular song reminds me of Sigma Harmonics' OST, but it's probably just the generated violin. Either way, a nice theme, don't you think?

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Now I've never met this person for realsies, but I like to pretend that every post like this that anyone makes ever is about me.

Thanks, mind. I really needed that hot kissing dream about a male friend. /sarcasm

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Hierarchy of Manga Plot Developments

In terms of writing, not necessarily how much I enjoyed them. In no way extensive because I read/watch/play way too much fiction.

Bad:

Good:

Great:

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Oh and on that note

Did anyone else notice that Naga is by far the most capable fighter in Legend of Korra? She has a better win record than Korra, Asami, Mako, Bolin, Tenzin, Lin, and now Amon. She can smash metal bars. She can track Korra through a snowstorm to an isolated mountain. She took down 3 mecha effortlessly. She has rescued the team countless times, and she swatted those mooks like an NBA All-star blocking a game-winning shot last episode.

Oh and Korra was right before, Naga can't run with 4 people on her. She can fucking fly.

I can't wait for the next season of Avatar: Legend of Naga.

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Legend of Korra Season Finale

Ok ok this isn't video games but I feel like I need to talk about it.

That was one of the biggest disappointments in TV in recent history.

SPOILERS AHEAD.

SPOILERS AHEAD.

SPOILERS AHEAD.

SPOILERS AHEAD.

Amon is completely wasted as a character and villain. He's revealed to be Tarlocc's FAR MORE POWERFUL BROTHER, yet where Tarlocc can Bloodbend a room full of master benders into unconsciousness, Amon can't even fully suppress Mako or Korra, neither of which could waterbend at the time. Amon took a series of airbending hits from Korra even though he can DODGE LIGHTNING. Okay.

What exactly were Amon’s motivations, since he just undermined everything he’d been establishing the whole season? Was he not actually fighting for equality between benders and non-benders? Was he really following in Yakone's footsteps? Why would he do that? If Tarlocc and Amon both realized what a tool Yakone is as kids, why did they try to take over Republic City! If it was neither, then what the was he doing?

How did Amon BLOODBEND people to the point that their bending was removed? Apparently that's the story they're sticking to, and it's absolutely hand-waved. Okay.

Why does Amon being a bender suddenly make his revolution fall apart? That’s like a white person not being allowed to take part in the Civil Rights Movement… "it’s his fault he was born a bender, so he must not be for the cause!"? The fact that there are legitimate abuses of power by benders over non-benders is completely ignored, and any sort of interesting gray morality that was built up through the entire season becomes a boring black and white battle of good versus evil. Hiroshi just gets written off as an evil maniac even though his wife was killed by benders and there are criminal organizations that regularly extort and abuse people (though there are less thanks to Amon).

I think he'd be charismatic enough to cause a revolution even if he had revealed he could bend from the very beginning. He could have been a villain with a solid motive and a purpose, but instead he's clumsily shoved into a "evil for the evulz" role in the finale.

Furthermore, Amon was constantly being lauded for being a step ahead of Team Avatar the whole way, and apparently had the GODLIKE foresight to put paint on his face under his mask in case Korra happened to sneak past his army to talk to his brother, that she didn't even know was on Airbender Island,  in case his brother told her his background, and she attempted to use it as a weapon against him. Or maybe in case his mask gets knocked off even though he legitimately hadn't taken a hit in the entire series? But he didn't have the brains to not conjure a giant waterly spiral in front of half of Republic City? Right.

Korra unlocks airbending, which revolves around patience, and spiritual focus and serenity out of desperation because her boyfriend is in danger? REALLY? And Aang energybending back Korra’s bending and teaching her to energybend is a sad, sad Deus ex machina… I wasn’t aware the avatar state was a means for the writers to get out of corners. Any potential for Korra to be developed as a really interesting character was wasted the moment she got her bending back. The insecurities of her feeling like she was nothing without her bending was wonderfully hinted at all season, and then she finally loses it, I was pleased with that, at least. Of course then it's all completely swept away and nicely tied up with bad writing. AVATAR FIXES EVERYTHING K.

And to really stick it to anyone hoping for this season to develop into anything interesting, or long-reaching, everything in the season is pretty much cut-off. The most promising development that could have lasted, Korra losing her bending and having to become a great person instead of just a great master bender is swiftly nipped in the bud. Amon and Tarlocc escaping and possibly returning is ruined when Tarlocc blows them up for no REAL reason.

Speaking of that. Why? Apparently they both just had the evil disease, but being defeated once in combat suddenly makes you remorseful to the point of suicide. It was not touching, it was not beautiful, it was stupid and it made no sense.

So the long-reaching impact of the season? Korra masters airbending (for no real reason), characters are introduced, and OMG MAKO AND KORRA ARE DATING <3<3<3<3<3. All of this could have been done without making and then punctually destroying a villain that's far more interesting than any protagonist.

After such a fantastic build-up, Avatar’s season finale is just a mess of rushed resolutions, the antagonist acting out of character, and poor writing trying to nicely fit everything into one finale.

I am disappoint.

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Dance of the Dog's Dream from Sigma Harmonics.

The soundtrack was composed by Masashi Hamauzu who you probably know from Final Fantasy XIII's soundtrack.

Both he and Shimomura use a lot of piano and violin combinations, but still manage to sound completely different. I'd say that's because Hamauzu seems to go a lot lower with the violin and a lot higher with the piano.

His songs just feel lighter than Shimomura's, since she seems to focus on more of a mysterious and more ominous feel to her songs. Hamauzu's in general also have a lot more rising/falling tension, by which I mean lots of big builds in instrumentation and volume, contrasting with quieter parts with less instruments. I'm no music expert, so hopefully that was comprehensible.

Anyways, the entire Sigma Harmonics soundtrack is fantastic (Japanese only game, though), and ranks just behind Saga Frontier 2 in terms of my favorite soundtracks from Hamauzu.

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Never played this game, though I've heard of Sin and Punishment.

This is really upbeat for a menu theme. I like it though.

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I suppose Yoko Shimomura has created such a massive collection of themes in Kingdom Hearts that she really only needs to compose half of a new song at any time.

Presumably this is the battle theme of the Mysterious Figure from Birth By Sleep's real identity in Dream Drop Distance, since the two songs are similar in a lot of melodies.

Of course it's Shimomura so it's still great.

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People are simply things to be used. Used and thrown away. Put on a sweet, innocent face and people will swallow anything you feed them.