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i love it when the long format television series with 8 seasons start to ditch their original formula and start doing shenanigans with the characters

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i love it when the long format television series with 8 seasons start to ditch their original formula and start doing shenanigans with the characters

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House Headcanons cause they're my sillies

◇ Wilson routinely switchs out Houses vicodin for tictacs.

◇ House joined his high school cheer team just to piss off his dad. He actually enjoyed it and still remembers the routines but his leg gets in the way.

◇ Rachel covered one of Houses canes with stickers. He secretly loves it and uses it when he's alone.

◇ House and Rachel have played princesses and pirates, and house was not the pirate.

◇ The ducklings cant tell if house is gay or not and frankly they are too scared to ask.

◇ Wilson has carried House bridal style at least once

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How I think House/Wilson/Cuddy should've gotten together:

Any configuration of "let's pretend to date to make the other one jealous -> oh no I think I'm catching feelings for real" (personally, preferably Wilson/Cuddy pretending to date to make House go feral)

Generic sitcom plot where House gets asked out by Cuddy, and then when he goes to tell Wilson about it, he gets asked out by Wilson too, and he's too much of a bisexual disaster to say no to either of them. Both dates are on the same night at the same restaurant and House tries to do both, spending some time at Wilson's table then saying he needs to pee so he can go to Cuddy's table for a bit. Meanwhile, Wilson and Cuddy are texting each other, kicking their feet and giggling about how stupid House is (they stage an overdramatic reveal where they follow House and "realise" he's trying to go on two dates at once. Then they go home and top the fuck out of him)

Other generic sitcom plot where Hudson are already together and the episode plays out as flashbacks from Wilson, Cuddy, and House's perspectives (each flashback is heavily biased and gets called out by the others), going over how they got together but each account is wildly different. At the end of the episode, there's still no clear consensus about which, if any, of the perspectives were the closest to being the truth

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Bro lives in Jersey and has insane sexual and romantic chemistry with 2 Jewish people yet he still somehow finds the time to be antisemetic. It’s borderline impressive

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some more ideas in the continuing saga of “perhaps i will write crack of chase and/or thirteen calling house dad”:

chase calls house “dad” completely accidentally. total freudian slip

after the whole ordeal, chase thinks house is actually going to let it go and not bring it up again because it was awkward for him, too. until house calls chase “son” a few days later and then smiles the most shit-eating grin at him

thirteen calls house “dad” sarcastically and on purpose to annoy house

thirteen makes jokes with chase about house being his/their dad to tease him after chase has his slip up

thirteen once calls house “mom” without realizing it and gets incredibly flustered when it’s pointed out

wilson laughs hysterically when he finds out about all of this but also thinks chase’s fruedian slip was endearing/sweet

house bitches about having them act like his kids, and wilson tells him he walked right into it with all of the running comments about them being his ducklings

jokes about wilson being their stepdad

jokes about cuddy being their stepmom

just way too many jokes that thirteen and house find hilarious and make chase want to hide in a closet

“i wish i had never called you dad in the first place” -chase, to house after being teased on and off for weeks straight (he doesn’t mean it)

“hey! show your father figure some respect!” -foreman, probably, in response

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House Headcanons cause they're my sillies

◇ Wilson routinely switchs out Houses vicodin for tictacs.

◇ House joined his high school cheer team just to piss off his dad. He actually enjoyed it and still remembers the routines but his leg gets in the way.

◇ Rachel covered one of Houses canes with stickers. He secretly loves it and uses it when he's alone.

◇ House and Rachel have played princesses and pirates, and house was not the pirate.

◇ The ducklings cant tell if house is gay or not and frankly they are too scared to ask.

◇ Wilson has carried House bridal style at least once

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knowing that house (stubborn, miserable, crippled asshole) can be loved by a person just as not normal but so full of love (james wilson, romantically) gives me hope that i (stubborn, miserable, crippled asshole) will get my own james wilson one day

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Something else i feel like people who arent in the house md fandom also dont undestand is that not only are wilson and house just Like That - so is cuddy. Like. All three of them together are just Like That. They are constantly telling each other secrets they dont want one of them to know and then act shocked when they tattle on each other. Its like telephone foreplay. Every season for like 2 episodes wilson has a crisis over whether he should ask cuddy out on a date or not, and every time house gets Weird, yet Supportive about it. Wilson spends so much of season five desperately trying to get cuddy and house to date. Cuddy is constantly seeking out genuine comfort and advice from wilson, and when push comes to shove, cuddy and wilson are the only ones who ever pry any emotional vulnerability out of house. Every time all three of them are in a room together they trip over themselves trying to hide how much they desire each other Carnally.

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house serves cunt as often as cuddy serves penis. wilson serves neither but he does serve something. maybe liver

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Do you guys think Hugh Laurie ever went to the doctor for like a regular checkup and the doctor went omg Dr. House….

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“But their relationship is so fucked up why do you like it?” Brother if you even glanced at the shit I’ve romanticized you’d clutch your pearls so hard your fist would go through your chest

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Obsessed with the way Vicodin is such a huge piece of symbolism in House’s relationships. Like. Cuddy left him because he relapsed. She told him that he took the Vicodin to avoid pain, because pain means you care and he wasn’t willing to do that. We’ve seen throughout the show how House’s emotional pain manifests as physical, increasing whenever he feels guilt or anger or sadness or fear. Keep in mind this was while Cuddy was worried she might have cancer.

And then Wilson ACTUALLY gets cancer, and House treats him at his apartment, and he feeds him Vicodin. Because Wilson is in pain, and he’s always the one who cares so much, and it’s House’s turn to take that away. And House doesn’t take any Vicodin. He feels the pain so Wilson’s is lessened, because he CARES. They make a point to show that he is willing to care, willing to take on that burden for him.

House will do anything to stop the pain, unless it makes Wilson suffer.

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Wilson buys House one of those reversible squid plushies as a joke and House dismissively tosses it on his desk and it sits there on the angry side for days

but then Wilson comes in after House solves his case and he notices that while the squid hasn't moved, it's been flipped to the happy side

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getting sick at the realization it's basically canon that wilson emotionally cheated on two of his wives with house. "i'm a doctor, she's used to eating without me" so you spend christmas with your boybestfriend. i'm gonna call you a slur

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House deleting the message that would let Wilson immediately move out of his apartment, staring at his sleeping body in silence while the soundtrack is playing "love will make you do wrong" is actually insane, the lost craft of queerbaiting