we-are-underwater

[we-are-underwater]

a lot of posts about headspaces fall into a couple of categories: discourse (therapy device vs real emotional experience), advice (tips for building a headspace), or positivity. it leaves myself feeling a bit alienated as a system who doesnt have a headspace by choice.

i know for myself, the effort it takes to build one is better spent on other goals for my system. it sometimes feels like headspace is trotted around as the Main System Thing that every system should have and aspire to have, but i’ve picked up some other tips to cover some of the bases that a headspace also covers.

these tips might not be accessible for everyone and might not work for everyone, but these are tips i got from friends who are also systems and my therapist who is a system. take what you need and leave what you dont :)

having a safe irl space for parts to feel comfortable existing in

having safe irl hobbies for parts to use as outlets when needed

visualizing my parts existing in the space around me instead of in a headspace area, especially when trying to communicate with them

this isnt something i do, but having objects (stuffed animals, toys, etc.) that you can “project” your parts onto when communicating

having conversations with parts while looking in a mirror (helps with making responses feel less forced/coaxed out)

having mundane things for parts to do when they front to help them feel more comfortable

having many many many grounding objects/fidgets available for parts who may need help feeling attached to my current place in life

having safe system friends that make parts feel comfortable in self identifying and dont pressure us to introduce each part

having a journal/place to log memories when they appear. for us, it usually ends up being art rather than actual written journal entries

[we-are-underwater]

It’s okay if you don’t know who you are. It’s okay if you don’t have clear profiles on every system member. It’s okay if you struggle to make sense of yourself and your alters.

You can take as much time as you need to figure it out, but it’s also okay if you never figure it out.

You are allowed to simply exist as you are. Even if you don’t know who that is. Even if it changes by the hour.

[we-are-underwater]

i realized while looking back through this blog ive mostly talked about plural questioning stuff kind of vaguely.

i want to post about what my possible plural experiences have been and what it feels like in my brain but it's hard to figure out how to describe it.

And I also just don't remember a lot of it very well... i think i've felt more "solid" recently and it makes it harder to describe what it was like to be more... fluid, i guess?

[we-are-underwater]

median culture is having a hard time using the word plural about yourself, because it feels like you're lying, only to minutes or hours later feel like no other word could ever encompass all the ways your brain is different

.

[we-are-underwater]

hearing other headmates only during stressful times is totally normal btw. also hearing headmates only during non stressful times & ur brain shutting them out during stressful times

[we-are-underwater]

this is a blog made for questioning plurality. in a weird state with that right now.

tags: #underwater.art, for art #underwater.post, for textposts

the old pinned was feeling inaccurate so. replaced it. but here's a link for posterity.

[we-are-underwater]

i think i am mostly ready to go back through my older questioning records and compare notes with how i feel now BUT I SHOULD NOT DO SO LATE AT NIGHT

[we-are-underwater]

"can you stop talking to me it makes it really hard to be in denial"

.

[we-are-underwater]

what's your POV in headspace?

-always first person

-usually first person, occasionally third

-its a good mix

-usually third person, occasionally first

-always third person

[we-are-underwater]

i don't really feel like I'm the same person who wrote the pinned post for this blog, i don't feel connected to the words in it much at all.

a large part of that is because ive felt a lot less plural these days than i did when i wrote it. but the answer to the question "am i plural" is still "i don't know"/

[we-are-underwater]

uh… questioning median culture is constantly referring to your brain as a separate entity to yourself that you’re constantly in a state of mild bickering with despite that… not making much sense.

.

[we-are-underwater]

questioning median culture is I feel legally distinct from myself but also I am me. but I am legally distinct. Like I’m me but if someone took me in for a copyright violation they would lose the court case because I’m just not me enough to be a different person. but also I’m balancing on that legally distinct line like it’s a fucking tightrope. but you could not prove it in court.

apdjjqh

[we-are-underwater]

Questioning median culture is being on the verge or a breakdown because. What the fuck am I. Am I a single person? Am I multiple? I don't know. And I can't ask anyone else because no one else is inside my head/understands me as well as me.

I hope this makes sense

If not, oh well ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

.

[we-are-underwater]

questioning-for-over-a-year plegg culture is feeling less like an egg cleanly cracked and pulled apart, and more like a chick struggling to get out of its shell

.

[we-are-underwater]

plegg culture is going by “they/them because I feel like multiple people” (true thing I have done lol)

.

[we-are-underwater]

plegg + gender questioning culture is "they/them but am i plural or nonbinary? no seriously can you tell me bc i dont actually know-"

.

[we-are-underwater]

plegg culture is constantly debating with yourself as a child in a conversational style like that Is Normal

.