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[waywarddevil]

Phil quote retweeted Minecraft!

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A cropped screenshot of a tweet by Minecraft @/Minecraft that was quote retweeted by Ph1LzA @/Ph1LzA.

Minecraft’s tweet reads “A NEW biome is on its way in 1.20: The cherry blossom biome! Hide under the wide canopies, stroll along the pink flower carpet blocks, and utilize the cherry tree for a brand new wood set! 🌸 http://aka.ms/Cherry-Blossom-Biome-1-20”. Attached are 3 screenshots of this new biome, showing large trees that have dark bark, light pink leaves and similarly pink planks.

Phil’s quote retweet reads “FINALLY OMG OMG OMG PINK TREESEEE”.

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[waywarddevil]

It’s difficult out there, you guys will understand when you get older.

[waywarddevil]

if making whoopee is old timey slang for sex then are whoopee pies named that because they look like.......well......you know........

[waywarddevil]

blanket statements: "this blanket will keep me cozy and warm tonight"

umbrella terms: "my umbrella protects me from both the sun and the rain"

[waywarddevil]

today the girl ringing me up at the gas station said “ok, have a nice day. i love you” and i said “what” and she repeated “i love you” with better diction

[waywarddevil]

Woke veggie tales would have. Rhubarb's drag race. Is that anything

[waywarddevil]

haven’t updated in a while but i’m here to break the news. i am a greek yogurt bitch now. 18 grams of protein in 2/3 cup. holy shit. i put it in my oatmeal. making smoothies. put it on tortillas. goddamn.

[waywarddevil]

that one friend who’s always cold: i’m cold

that one friend who can see ghosts: which is weird because you’re not even being haunted right now or anything

[waywarddevil]

[waywarddevil]

not to brag but my thighs also wear out men’s clothing. higher quality has nothing on these bad boys. duluth trader company work pants, had em about a month. holes for days. second pair is a nylon blend that i wasn’t aware COULD pill but it’s started. these mfs eat fabric like a delicious authentic italian dinner. sometimes i hear a noise and burst into the room and my thighs are just in there munching away. sometimes the pants aren’t even mine.

[waywarddevil]

hand feeding fentanyl to a baby cop and watching it skitter unsteadily back into the forest and explode

[waywarddevil]

[waywarddevil]

[waywarddevil]

Being followed by a car for 2 turns in the city: "I'm about to be murdered. Let me call my mom and write my will because this is it"

Being followed by a car for 6 hours on country highways: "The relationship between Blue Subaru and I is beyond compare. We're family. My road brother."

[waywarddevil]

some of you have never been bullied and it shows

[waywarddevil]

I AM HAUNTED BY A PAST I CANNOT GO BACK TO !!!!!! anyways

[waywarddevil]