water-fetus

[water-fetus]

I can’t wait to spend forever with you

[water-fetus]

2/6/21 - 1:35pm

I moved in with my boyfriend last week. And honestly. I’m the happiest I’ve been in a really really long time. I have amazing friends. An amazing partner. An amazing home. I’m doing well with treatment. I’m probably the best mentally I’ve been in forever.

We also just picked out engagement rings 👀

[water-fetus]

06/06/20 - 4:38am

I wish we had just stayed strangers.

[water-fetus]

3/5/20 - 2:47am

I reached out to my old best friends tonight. I finally feel like I got everything out and I can begin to truly heal. I can’t stop crying. I can’t tell if it’s happy tears or sad. Idk. Maybe both.

[water-fetus]

1/4/19 - 6:59am

I have a really good feeling about this one. He seems really sweet.

[water-fetus]

12/25/19 - 11:06pm

I almost messaged you today but I stopped myself. Merry Christmas Tayler. I hope you’re okay.

[water-fetus]

12/6/19 - 6:00am

Sometimes I wonder when we will talk again. A week? Two months? A year? I had a dream about you a couple of minutes ago for the first time in months. I wonder if you’re doing okay. If you miss being my friend. This is the longest we’ve ever gone without talking to each other. It’s weird. My life is so peaceful without you in it. It’s boring. Being in a toxic relationship I was always on edge and was always scared of doing things to upset you. But since you’ve left my anxiety is nothing like it used to be. I also realized that without you here ruining them and without being in a toxic household I really like holidays. This was the best Halloween I’ve had in years. I’m excited for this Christmas. I no longer call you mangos dad. I don’t think you deserve that title anymore. I miss you sometimes. I try not to but when you spend almost 3 years of your life talking to someone everyday there’s a hole left behind from where that person was. But the hole is shrinking. I am healing and I don’t miss you as much anymore. I wonder if you think of me. Or if you hate me so much that you’ve completely pushed any thought of me deep down. Mia says you’re doing good. I used to check up on you with her but now she doesn’t answer me. I’m sorry to hear about your top surgery. I know how bad you needed that. I didn’t check up on you at all until I heard about that. But I just needed to know you were okay. I heard you’re doing great tho. That’s good. I’m doing great too. I just hope you’re happy I guess. I used to not think that way. I used to put so much negative energy out there towards you. I used to wish you were miserable until I realized it was making me miserable to think of you that way. So I hope you’re happy. I really do.

[water-fetus]

11/19/19 - 12:27am

I just unblocked you for the first time in months. I’m so stupid. I’m probably just gonna block you again tomorrow.

[water-fetus]

11/11/19 - 8:47am

I literally have the fattest crush on this girl. Holy fuck.

[water-fetus]

10/18/19 - 4:52am

I wish I could stop falling for boys who hurt me.

[water-fetus]

10/17/19 - 5:21pm

I got really cute and now you can’t even call me. I’m so sad.

[water-fetus]

10/16/19 - 6:44pm

I have no idea If he even likes me at this point and thats so fucking scary.

[water-fetus]

10/15/19 - 2:30am

And I ignoring all the red flags. Yes. Am I binging food but still counting all the calories because my ED is back up again I guess. Yes. Can I stop myself. No.

[water-fetus]

10/14/19 - 11:40pm

I’m so stupid. Why did I say that. I’m such a fucking idiot. I wanna hurt myself so bad.

[water-fetus]

10/14/19 - 6:05am

I have to keep reminding myself that I deserve to be this happy for once.

[water-fetus]

10/12/19 - 5:20am

Already made me cry so *finger guns* this is great. Watch me get hurt.

[water-fetus]

10/12/19 - 2:07am

Y’all he does pinky promises without me even having to say it first.

AHHH UPDATE HE SAID HE WANTED TO SEND ME A PICTURE OF HIS PINKY. IM CRYING. HOLY FUCK.