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(UNFINISHED) And I still love him Chapter 1

Characters; Birdpaw (Main) | Darkfur, Runningbreeze, Smokestar, Thistlefang

Summary; Birdpaw is going to this moons gathering. On the way there she receives a vision of lightning and a shadow figure. She gains consciousness and ignores the cat's murmurs and heads into the gathering rooms.

Words; 2,707

A/N; This chapter is still unfinished. It has 5 more pages to go and so far I only have 5. I’m trying to making every chapter have at least 10 pages.

"I loved him, I loved him. And I still love him" Waking up from this recurring nightmare that Birdpaw kept having seemed to have her heart race like a cat running from a dog. Her little munchy legs forced herself up from the nest, her white and ginger paws covered in sticky juice and pollen from the herbs she picked for Runningbreeze. Birdpaw didn't originally plan to become a medicine cat. Her brother, Leappaw, wanted her to become a warrior before he died in a severe accident by a tree branch. He was crushed and the image of him squealing in pain was burned into Birdpaws memory. But it was until a horrific training accident occurred with the dark tortoiseshell she-cat that she could no longer perform warrior duties and thus moved into the medicine den as a beginning apprentice. She fell off a tree onto an alarming big rock below, crushing her leg from under her. This was due to her short, munchkin-like legs that she was unfortunately born with. Luckily, the deputy who she was training with fortunately saved her life. But, two moons and counting since she started the training as an apprentice, only another... "Six more!" Birdpaw exclaimed, her tail being lifted up in the air with pure excitement and joy when her old mentor, Darkfur, squirmed through the door. He was the deputy of Shadowclan, the most perfect one in fact. "Are you still counting the moons until your ceremony to become a full healer? " Darkfur questioned her, being met with a frantic nod and purr. Runningbreeze was behind Birdpaw sorting herbs and taking care of Birdpaws Ill mother. She flicked her ear, hearing her new mentors voice.

"It doesn't matter about the time you've spent in this den, young one. It depends on how fast you're taking in information, your broad knowledge. But knowing you, Birdpaw, I think you'll be like Spotted Moon in no time. " Spotted Moon was the first medicine cat to roam the clans. She was some beautiful cat everyone looked towards when they were injured. She was grotesque and looked to Starclan for guidance when a new disease came that she never saw of before. With Runningbreeze saying this, it warmed her heart. "It's true, you're very smart, Birdpaw. I'm sure you would make your brother proud. " Darkfur agreed with Runningbreeze, dipping his head. He began to softly purr, rubbing his tail on Birdpaws cheek with affection. Birdpaw flinched at this motion, but let it happen. "Anyway, I have duties I need to fulfill. Splitface is getting more and more aggressive with the borders and I want to make sure that we are not next. Stay safe Birdpaw. " "I will don't worry, Darkfur. " Birdpaw was stumped, thinking of something to say before the deputy had left the den, but when she figured it out, she glanced over at his direction and saw his slick, black tail swiftly leave through the exit.

"Darkfur seems to be very fond of you, Birdpaw. Say, once you become a full grown medicine cat, give him a try. But, he might have some competition, seeing that handsome tom over there. " Runningbreeze whispers to Birdpaw after dealing with her mom. He points to Hawktail, a scarred face tom who is injured badly with his paw but will get back to warrior duties in no time. "Pft, I'm not interested in them. Besides, if I were, I'd like to keep things simple and make them like me for not just the color of my fur, but how I act as well. " Tortoiseshell she-cats were the easy target for love and affection. Their fur color makes all the toms swoon, but the most handsome tom in the clans doesn't even bat an eye at her. His name is Skytail. And by the looks of it, he seems in love. But, he's already mated with his… I don't want to say.

“He doesn't care about looks, Birdpaw. I remember when we were younger, he's my littermate you know, he had this huge crush on this cat with only one eye and no tail. But, that's when he was kit, but it proves who and what he likes. I think I should know my own brother by now.” Runningbreeze flicks his tail, but Birdpaw stays silent as a hawk ready to feast on its prey. She looks up outside the linen of the medicine den and her yellow eyes set upon Darkfur. His black mask, legs, and tail are something beyond Birdpaws understanding. Now that she thinks about it, he is quite handsome. “Go talk to him.” Birdpaw keeps her gaze glued onto him.

“I'll leave that for Sleektail. She seems like she wants a piece of him.” Birdpaw observed, leaning in to try and hear the conversation. She couldn't hear anyone, she was deaf at this moment. But by what her vision can see, Darkfur looked annoyed and revolted. He flicked his ear and padded away, leaving Sleektails heart in two. Her pale green eyes looked at Birdpaw and their gazes met. She glared at the young apprentice before stalking away. Birdpaw felt her ears cling onto the back of her head before sighing and turning back into the medicine den.

“Birdpaw, the gathering is tonight.” Runningbreeze hummed, flicking his tail to and fro. He sniffled and his dark, copper fur fluffed up in alarm as Birdpaws dear mother had another coughing fit. “Dear Starclan, Slatemist!” Exclaimed the medicine cat, putting a paw on her chest. The silver she-cat who was Birdpaws mother opened her eyes to slits.

“I’m fine,” Slatemist whispered in a raspy voice. Birdpaw rushed over to her side. Her eyes stretched wide open as she saw her mothers figure. Her ribs were showing, so skinny she was. Her eyes were faintly open and her breathing was slow. Her voice was hoarse when she spoke, her claws extending and digging in the soil. Sniffles came from her nose, her tail spiked up whenever she did so. Gunk came from her eyes, wet tears trailing down the soft sides of her cheeks. “It’s just my throat that's killing me”

“No, you obviously aren’t, dear mother.” Birdpaw licked Slatemists cheek in worry. “You are unwell. I advise you to stay here until you revive.” She looked up to Runningbreeze, trying to look for his approval. He simply nodded before rubbing Slatemists chest. “I’ll get some honey for your throat.” “Birdpaw, Slatemist is obviously ill so I’ll need you to go to the gathering alone while I medicate Slatemist. It’s a lot, and nervewracking too when you are without someone you know and trust. If you don’t know anyone who is going, stay close to Darkur.” Birdpaws fur heated up. “The sun is going down so Smokestar will be calling the names of the cats who are going soon.” He flicked his tail before checking Slatemists heartbeat. Birdpaw hesitantly nodded, her paws digging in the rough dirt. She swiftly turned her back on her mother and walked out the den, feeling the linen of the exit tickle her skin.

“To all cats of the clan! Only a lucky few of you are chosen to go to this moons gathering, and those cats will be called. Runningbreeze, Birdpaw, Darkfur, Hawktail, Sombresky, Cloudheart, Pebbletail, Thistlefang, and Cloudmask will all go to this moons gathering. If anyone of you cats cannot make it, please speak up now!” Smokestar announced to the members of Shadowclan. Birdpaw huffed before standing up on her short legs. Holding her muzzle up high so the leader could hear her, she called out.

“Runningbreeze cannot make it. He is busy with my ill mother, Slatemist. She is, unfortunately, sick so he asked me to cover for him.” Birdpaw felt all eyes on her. She cowered down into her shoulders before she felt a warm presence fall beside her. She turned her head and subconsciously laid her cheek in the cat's fur, rubbing against him.

“Oh, dear,” Darkfur said, a hint of amusement in his voice as his muzzle went up then back down as Birdpaw traced the path. This caused the she-cat to freak out, not realizing what she’d done before he spoke.

“Oh, Darkfur! I’m so very sorry! I didn’t realize what I was doing-” She was cut off by the deputy who just happened to purr. He wrapped his tail around the small cat and looked down at her. With a nod of acknowledgment, he bent down to lick her forehead.

“It’s quite alright, Birdpaw.” Darkfur pulled his head away, his eyes gleaming with amusement. “I don’t mind at all. In all honesty, I thought it was very adorable- even if you were subconsciously doing it.” Birdpaw couldn’t believe her ears. With shame, she, as fast as lightning, turned her head low to face the grass, her tail thumping as hard as her heartbeat. Darfur's noir tail intertwined with hers to stop the anxiety that Birdpaw was feeling. This only caused Birdpaw to rush more than what she already was.

“I…” Birdpaw breathed in slowly. “I need to walk with Smokestar.” She exhaled, pulling away from Darfur's embrace. She looked over her shoulder and gazed sorrowfully at the heartbroken tom. His smile was turned into a frown as he was fidgeting with his small paws. Gracefully, the munchkin-like Molly walked over to her black tabby leader, her fluffy tail up high. She began to think, what she did to Darkfur was rude beyond belief, but she was so embarrassed by his loving personality towards her. She didn’t know what to say to the deputy, so she left without saying goodbye- but only in an unprofessional manner.

Smokestar noticed the medicine cat apprentice and purred softly. “I thought you need your mentor to go along with you to gatherings?” The leader asked in her soft voice. Birdpaw and Smokestar were pretty close. The leader understood everything Birdpaw had to say, she was her best friend. Smokestar, formerly Smokewhisper, trained the tortoiseshells brother Leappaw before he died. She was like a sister to the medicine cat, the sister she never had.

“Slatemist is on death row and I can’t do anything to help my mom.” Birdpaws voice began to crack. “I can’t do much as I’ve only been a medicine cat for a few moons and not know how to deal with situations like hers. So Runningbreeze can’t go and we both know there has to be a healer going to the gathering.” She began to choke. “I don’t want to risk Runningbreeze going and I stay. If Slatemist gets any worse I don't know how to deal with the conflict and she could go to Starclan. I can’t let that happen.” Birdpaw started to sniffle as her leader's warm fur pressed against her side.

“You’re right, Birdpaw. But you’re a very intelligent she-cat, one of the smartest I know, so I expect that if you’re in that situation, you will figure out a cure. I believe in you Birdpaw.” Smokestar purred, licking the top of Birdpaws head. The sadness floating away, Birdpaw regained her stature and looked up at Smokestar. A smile grew on the younger cats face.

“Thanks, I really needed that. It means a lot to me that you think that way.” Birdpaw looked up at the sky, the moon starting to shine. “We must leave!” The apprentice announced to the gathered cats behind her. Darkfur bounded over to Smokestars side and whispered something into her ear with deep concern. Smokestars eyes narrowed, Darkfur's eyes darkening. This caused Birdpaw to grow worried and numb, but the clan pushed forward into the thorn exit which opened up as a tunnel.

Birdpaw stopped, seeing Darkfur's black tail whisk away into the forest. The rest of her clanmates walked up before her and now Birdpaw was at the rear with Thistlefang. She grew nervous. This warrior had the tendency to hate apprentices with a burning passion. He wanted to rip them apart. His attitude was as bad as the place with no stars. But, he was a very strong and brave warrior with the love for his mate Cloudmask. Well, that’s what every other cat seems to think.

“What’s your problem, kit?” Thistlefang spat, causing Birdpaws neck fur to spike up. She continued walking at Thistlefangs pace. He was his old mentor before Birdpaw got injured. She started to limp and looked straight ahead nervously. With an anxious smile, Birdpaw weirdly walked forward.

“Uh, nothing, sir.” Birdpaw laughed awkwardly, earning a scoff from the older warrior. When either Darkfur dies or he becomes leader, Birdpaw could guess he’ll be the next deputy. Even though he has a snarky personality, he is still a strong warrior. Even if he did drag that enemy apprentice by his tail during battle…

“No need to be so formal, Birdpaw.” Thistlefangs bad attitude dropped. Perhaps he felt bad, scoffing at an injured apprentice. Birdpaw guessed that he must have a soft spot for her. “I was your mentor, you know that I’m here for you whenever you need me, right? I may always be in an angry mood, but that can change whenever you’re feeling down. I hate seeing my clanmates down in the dumps. I or Cloudmask can always help you.” Birdpaw was surprised. She turned her head around and saw the fanged warrior smiling at her. This was a rare sight to see. Her fake smile faded away- turning into a real one.

“Thank you so much Thistlefang. Don’t worry, I’ll tell you everything when somethings wrong.” Birdpaw took in a deep breath and looked ahead of her. “I just need to talk to Starclan again. They’ve been sending us mixed messages about how they want us to act. You know the whole ‘A shadow looms over the flower, turning it into dust. Bring light into the flower and let it shine for the last time’ thing? I still don’t understand that.” Birdpaw ends with a long sigh.

“My thinking is that the shadow has to be Splitface. She’s always going at us and the other clans for moons now with no sign of stopping. Each day that passes, she grows more and more- with her own ‘family’. But what is the flower? Is it a singular cat or the whole clans in the land?” Thistlefang tilted his head, trying to catch up with the medicine cat. His huge stature almost buried her alive.

“I’m not so sure myself. The other medicine cats and I are grouping together to figure out what this message means. I just hope by the next half-moon Starclan gives us a hint or we’ll just be running around in circles.” A silence grew between the two cats as they were in deep thought. “The shadow seems to be only bringing misfortune everywhere it goes.” Birdpaw thunk aloud.

Falling, impalement, disappointing life, unworthy, it seems as if someone is trying to speak to Birdpaw. But it could just be her own thoughts, but those words seemed to be repeating inside of her head. Birdpaw screwed her sunshine eyes shut, biting her tongue. “Could the flower possibly be me?” She whispered to herself, opening her eyes to see a vast moor with blooming plants.

Lightning struck the wonderful view, a shadow of a cat being created by the dust of the storm. The shadow figure ripped off a flower, a deep voice laughing as it crushes to beautiful rose to bits. Seeds spewed out of the rose and two faded away, leaving one left. Birdpaw couldn’t speak.

“You alright? You kinda just bumped into me.” A familiar voice excused her vision. Birdpaw opened her eyes to see white and black fur. Of course, Birdpaw had to push into Darkfur. Rolling her eyes and fluffing up her fur, she sighed.

“Yeah, I’m just great.” Birdpaw sarcastically said, wondering how in Starclan she managed to get in the front of the parade of cats. Jumping on the log to the group of cats awaiting her, she clawed into the wood. What could that have meant? She thought, shoving her ears to the back of her head. She pushed through the bushes to see two other leaders. Fantastic, they weren’t the last ones.

“Shadowclan, you’ve finally arrived.”

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