wardofwinters

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My conduct this year landed me on Santa Claus's fabled and controversial "Kill-at-all-Costs" List. Turns out the reason the big man and his people don't exercise that option more often is that they really aren't good at following through on it. Well outside their core competency. He's delegated to the elves, and they've got this ingrained assembly-line mindset that doesn't translate at all to the adaptable and fluid mindset needed for siege breaking. They just haven't adjusted their playbook at all from when they're doing rote deliveries. Armed Elves have been rappelling down my chimney one at a time into the roaring fire I've kept going nonstop for the last week. They haven't even thought to try my front door yet. Whole house smells like peppermint, which it turns out is what burnt elf meat smells like. Thought I was being super clever putting cyanide-laced almond milk out with the cookies as a last line of defense, but none of them have made it even the scant few feet to the side table where that's sitting. At the rate things are going the real danger is that I'm gonna forget what I did with that and accidentally drink it myself while I'm watching the show

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She turned the apartment into an escape room

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Like don't get me wrong I am 100% the "do what you want forever as long as everyone's an adult and consenting I truly could not give less of a fuck if I tried" guy but also.

I don't understand why it's so difficult to accept when people say "this happened to me and that's why I use this language" and... believe them?

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I was transed by the eye-witness book about mummies.

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If, according to Kanye West, one good girl is worth a thousand bitches, and if, according to Lil Wayne, bitches come a dime a dozen, it means that one good girl is worth $8.33 USD (2015).

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criminal profiling is just astrology for cops

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#312 Minun

buy stickers, commission a pokemon, or support me on kofi!

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when i was a homeless 20-year-old i was rejected from multiple housing opportunities because i had 5k in medical debt from going to the ER after getting roofied and sexually assaulted (i was unconscious so calling 911 was not my decision) and UHC denied my insurance claim. so yeah, i'm actually deriving an enormous amount of pleasure from watching health insurance CEOs snivel and hide like the heartless cowards they are. may those who profit from our suffering live in fear of those they seek to deny.

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Thinking about a scenario where Shen Jiu comes back while Shen Yuan is still Shen Qingqiu, but instead of SJ being like "ah yes this body-snatching doppelganger" the fact that no measures for testing for any of the usual kinds of possession or impostor stuff work on him, means that SJ actually also thinks that SY is just like, him.

Like he thinks his soul must have split or something, his psyche fracturing into two versions -- him, the fucked up guy who remembers every bad thing that ever happened, and this dipshit idiot version who doesn't and gets to be nicer and happier because of it.

I think Shen Jiu would take that worse, though. Like this would be the universe where Shen Jiu just keeps trying to kill Shen Yuan. Except that he can't because the system interferes so as not to worsen the glitch that has caused this to happen in the first place. But Shen Jiu doesn't know about the system so he's just getting angrier and angrier because he thinks it's his own subconscious stopping him or something and that forces him to start acknowledging some of his issues to try and get over it, and eventually he just sort of, accidentally starts reconciling with some of his issues. But only because he's trying to pinpoint the one issue in particular that's preventing him killing Shen Yuan.

Meanwhile Shen Yuan is almost looking forward to the post-Abyss arc now, because when Binghe inevitably kills them both maybe he'll finally get a moment's peace.

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Standing in a checkout line, when an older man asks me about my Goncharov t-shirt. I say "It's a movie, " when the person behind me chimes in, "Oh, yes, Scorsese."

The original gentleman goes on to tell me about the author Goncharov, his favorite of his novels, and a famous character from one of the novels. The three of us discuss whether the main character in the movie is intentionally named after the author, referencing that character, or whether it just sounded good to the film maker. We discuss how steeped the movie is in symbology.

Two of us are having a very different conversation than the third.

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ppl are so annoying “you can’t paint ur bedroom pink you’re an adult” i did not spend my entire life waiting to grow up and control my life to paint my bedroom beige

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guys. please

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"advertising doesn't work" the increase in scentbird ads and people talking about a "personal signature scent" directly correlates with my family's interest in perfumes. Even if they're not using scentbird, something probably changed to make them want perfumes more, right?