warcrimesandfrogs

[warcrimesandfrogs]

This page in Bernd Degen's foreword to The Proper Care of Discus is very aptly captioned "A small shoal of wild brown Discus looking very contented in their well-planted aquarium." As a fellow individual with a great love of discus (how Bernd Degen describes his own picture, captioned two pages prior) I feel as though this is the funniest thing in the entire world and I love this book with all my heart and if anyone understood how awesome discus fish were with me they, too, would revel in this absolutely bizarre and hilarious caption for these fishies.

I can only hope and pray that by the end of this book I will understand how to tell what a contented discus fish looks like because just the idea that these fish could appear happy in their enclosure because it is quote well-planted unquote is superb and beautiful. Will keep updated.

[warcrimesandfrogs]

I've been pointedly refusing to use the term "content creators" to refer to artists anymore, because I want to make art for me and the people I care about, not the endless demands of the algorithm. I'm not trying to Produce Content, I want to make art.

So it is deeply, deeply irritating when I use the word "artist" in a post and it gets endlessly reblogged with people asking "but what about writers? but what about actors? but what about musicians? but what about [x]?"

All types of art are included in the term "artist," god damn it. "Artist" does not just mean "someone who draws pictures."

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The problem: you are Michael Bublé, it is 2011 and you would like to make a Christmas album. Your producers want you to sing the classic Christmas song "Santa, Baby," but if you sing it as intended, it's gonna come off as, like, super gay

The proposed solution: you will rewrite the lyrics to the song to imply a platonic friendship between yourself and the man in red, making Santa a real bro who's gonna help you get laid by some hunnies, with cool, masculine gifts like a steel blue convertible, a yacht and tickets to a Canadian hockey game

The reality: the combination of the eroticism of your voice and the inherently sexual vibes of the song means you create a story about a closeted gay guy desperately repressing his desire to - as the kids say - fuck that old man, no homo'ing your way through asking him to trim your tree, promising you'll be such a good boy if he treats you well, and begging him to slide down your chimney

[warcrimesandfrogs]

for people who haven’t been exposed to trader joes lentils for my wife guy, you’re welcome

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The crazy thing about three cheese blend is there could only be two cheeses in there and I would never know!!

[warcrimesandfrogs]

Alright I’ll be honest I have spread some ill-will regarding the late Tony Bennet’s “My Favourite Things” and I’d just like to say I have since grown and changed my ways.

He was 42 when he sang this song and he sounds like he was 70 his entire life. Honestly what the fuck was the thinking when he came up with this completely candor, bazonkers rhythm with which he sings this song it doesn’t feel quite right but I have learned to love it. I can’t get “when the dog bites… when the bee stings… when I’m feeeeelling sad… I simply remember my favorite thinnggss.. and then I don’t feeel so bad.,, MUSIC!” Like oh my god Mr. Bennett kiss me on the lips you devilish man throwing in that “MUSIC!” in there letting the horns do all the talkin’.

When the dog bites when the bee stings what do you do Tony tell me oh tell me let your sweet syrupy voice carry me away I have tears in my eeys i woulbd have jsut loeve to shake yuor hand. The way he says copper kettles actually gives me a little shiver oh he’s so silly the little LAUGH the little GIGGLE he does when he says “snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes” right between my and nose he giggles so cutely what a nice man I’d pinch him on the cheek!!

I once said I didn’t think he deserved to be on the Spotify Christmas Classics album (that thing’s a joke anyway—I digress), but I take it all back now. RIP Tony Bennett 1926-2023. Wish you could’ve been around this Christmas I would’ve held your hand in the snowy square while you serenade me with your smooth crooning voice. Silver white winters that melt into springs!! Goodnight forever my boy!!!

[warcrimesandfrogs]

people who take hot baths are practically begging to end up in a witch's stew.

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The somewhat sexual quality of sand

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my mind is sprung with creatures galore

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CAN’T get over how similar Pigstep and KK Fusion sound. Please tell me you hear it.

[warcrimesandfrogs]

One of the most telling things in Hamlet is how the way Hamlet shows his thoughts evolves over the course of the play.

It starts with his first soliloquy (I,ii), which he quickly shuts down when Horatio and Marcellus enter, breaking off with "But break, my heart, for I must hold my tongue." The only people privy to his thoughts are the people in the audience, and he's trying his best to keep his feelings to himself, no matter how much it "breaks [his] heart" to do so.

Later, in Act II Scene ii, he opens up in an odd way to Rosencrantz and Guildenstern, with "I could be bounded in a nutshell and count myself a king of infinite space, were it not that I have bad dreams," and the little monologue about how wonderful the world is and "yet, to me, what is this quintessence of dust?" This time, two characters get to hear his thoughts, however flowered, and they either misunderstand them or don't recognize their significance, reading into the idea of his "madness". Either way, their responses are inadequate, even insensitive, and from this point on, he keeps his thoughts between himself and the audience (with the exception of the passion's slave speech).

And then. Then. In Act V Scene ii, "In my heart there was a kind of fighting, that would not let me sleep." Possibly the most straightforward thing he's said in the entire play, and he says it to another character. He's talking to Horatio, letting him in (also, note the past tense). He's finally reached a point where he doesn't need to hide everything going on inside his head, where he knows he has people he can trust and people he can love. He has grown out of his tragedy, and is ready to grow higher.

How terrible, then, that he dies in the very same scene.

[warcrimesandfrogs]

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Mama by MCR is so Valiant Hearts

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I ganon on her dorf till she GRAAH

[warcrimesandfrogs]

The wooden pencil fandom is dying. Repost if you handle your wood.

[warcrimesandfrogs]

Encourage but pronounced like entourage

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White birch beer (yippee!)