waninamaelian

[waninamaelian]

My life ended the moment you took your last breath. I miss you.

[waninamaelian]

Today I woke terribly missing you, Hun. I dreamt of you. An alternate scenario of your last day on Earth. Somehow in that dream I knew you are leaving soon so I made sure tell you I love you and you also did. You told me you love me multiple times. When I opened my eyes, the reality of life without you started to haunt me again. When will I see you again? I miss you, Hun. I love you so much it hurts.

[waninamaelian]

Top 10 People of 2022

I wrote this before 2022 ended, I never got to tell my number one person how much he means to me. Hunny, you will forever be my number 1.

JB - My husband has been my constant source of peace. He is always there during the toughest times and stayed even if I am the worst person to live with. He became my absorbing man and I am just so blessed having him as my partner in life. 

Atty. Leni Robredo - She gave hope that Philippines will be better and it felt like we will finally get the President we deserve. I admire her for being courageous when she announced that she will be running for president but I was 100 percent sure that I made the right choice when she did a press conference after the votes were counted and she urged everyone to accept the voice of the people. 

Bianca Gonzalez - She has always been my inspiration to become a better citizen since 2009. Her openness to talk about the things that matter even if it won’t really affect her that much is so inspiring. She is like a big sister looking after her siblings who doesn’t even care. 

Jim and Saab Baccaro - My Pod Parents. Their “Morning After” episode made me feel seen and heard. It made me feel that what I was feeling was valid and it is okay to grieve for the future we thought will be for us. 

Taylor Swift - Her music has been the soundtrack of my life since I was in college. It seems like she knows what to say to make me feel better. I am so lucky to live in the generation where Taylor is present to grow up with us. 

Abel - He is like the glue that golds our family together. He has gone through a lot over the years and he helps our family more than we give him credit for. I honestly wouldn’t know what to do in life without him. 

Parents - Our parents are always with us no matter what. My parents will always be there when we need someone to look after the cats JB’s parents are always willing help us financially when needed. We are really blessed to have them. 

Karen Davilla - I recently stumbled upon her vlog and it is just so refreshing to watch something on Youtube which would always end with a life/bible verse, reminding us to be grounded and in whatever we do, we can always find God. 

Shane - We’ve been having deep conversations recently and it feels like I always take for granted that she is all grown up now and has a lot to say. I admire her strength because at a young age she is able to carry a lot and carry it well. 

Ms. Fe - My ultimate Lodi in life. She is my favorite co-teacher and Boss ever! It amazes me how she manages to have a successful career and still be present in her children’s life. She is definitely who I want to be when I grow up. 

[waninamaelian]

The more time I spend with other people is the more I realize that the only friend I need is my husband. I will choose our quiet more than the chaos and laughter with other people any day.

[waninamaelian]

On December 1st, we finally got our new Bibi, Datu Puti ❤️❤️❤️

[waninamaelian]

#HunnyOverload

JB and I have been browsing through our prenup and wedding photos and there is something about this photo that made me realize how blessed I am to marry my husband. I can't believe that I get to spend the rest of my life laughing with my best friend every day. I know there are days when I can't take his quirks but there's never a day that I can live without him. He is not perfect but he tries to make up for it by just loving me a little bit more everyday. In his own ways. I can't wait to grow old with this guy!

[waninamaelian]

I got a new phone! I wanted to “flex” it on my main social media accounts but chose not to because I don’t want to be seen as a shallow human being who needs to show off a normal thing that one should have. But come to think of it, one should not be shamed for flexing what they were able to achieve no matter how shallow you think it is because you never know what this person went through before getting what they want. Anyway. Hahahaha! Ang arte ko. Tap on the back self! Proud of you! Thanks to the best husband ever for being so generous and giving in to all my wants 🥹🥹🥹

[waninamaelian]

Tagaytay Day Trip

October 21 - We went to Tagaytay for one of our friends' wedding. The planned to rent an AirBnB and we will just stay there overnight because we don't want to rush home since we are pretty sure that the party would end very late at night. The initially plan is for just JB and I but his parents also mentioned that they wanted to stay with us so we could go around Tagaytay the following day so that's what we did. Here are some of the places we went to the following day.

October 22 - We had our breakfast in Bag of Beans Charito. All four of us are not satisfied with the service we received. Our order came in way too late. I would understand that it would be late because there are a lot of people in the restaurant but what annoyed me is that they were able to serve the tables next to us who just came in and when I approached one of the servers, they just shrug it off and said it is just because of the number of people who came in that day but he wasn't able to respond when I told him that there were two tables who came in after us who got served first. After a couple of minutes, our order arrived. Their poor service was well compensated by the food. I ordered their Seafood Pasta and it was one of the best pastas I've had. It was delicious and they were definitely not stingy with the ingredient. We almost forgot about their bad service when JB noticed that he did not get some sausage which is supposed to be part of his order. The crew was able to give it to him immediately but he said it was not cooked properly. Overall, I would give it 6/10 for the service and 8/10 for the food.

After our breakfast we went back to our AirBnb to check out. We rented a unit in The Winds and it was okay. The place was cozy and we were able to sleep well. Though their couch and pull out bed could definitely use some upgrade but overall our stay was great and I know my in-laws enjoyed it and they wanted to do the staycation thing again.

After checkout we went to Museo Orlina to check some of the ArtWorks by Ramon Orlina. JB's Dad requested for it for he is a fan of art. I heard him tell the curator how happy he is that he was able to visit the place because he was only able to see those Artworks from the magazine before and he can't believe they are in front of him now. I can see in his eyes how happy he is and that he enjoyed our short tour a lot! We started to plan the next museums we will visit.

We then went to Pink Sisters. I have been meaning to go there for years now and finally we were able to this time. I didn't know what happened to me but the moment I entered the church, I started crying. It felt like I didn't have to utter any prayer because God knows what's in my heart. JB just held my hand as I sat there and cry. We stayed there for just a couple of minutes and then proceed with writing our petition.

We had our lunch at Leslie's. We enjoyed the food and most of all the service provided to us. There was a long queue but it didn't take long before we got seated. All I can think about while we eat is how much I would love to bring my parents with me to eat there one day. Probably on my birthday.

Lastly, we went to SnR Nuvali before going home because JB and his Dad need to renew their membership. We also bought some groceries and food that we can cook for the next few days.

Our weekend was definitely well spent. We witnessed one of our closest friends get married and we were also able to spend quality time with JB's parents. I would definitely love to do it again.

[waninamaelian]

Proof of Life 

JB and I had Covid. Yes. After more than two years of being safe, we got it. I got it from one of my closest friends at work. I had mild symptoms, fortunately. I started feeling unwell on the 2nd of September and I just tried to take paracetamol every 4 hours because I thought it was just a normal flu. Before getting home, my work friend confirmed that he is positive. I guess the news made me feel more unwell and I started to have fever that night. The following day, 3rd of September, the Nurse from our Clinic at work called me and informed me that I am one of the POI and that I should get tested right away because I was having symptoms. I immediately asked JB to bring me to Asian Hospital so I could get tested. I was already coughing and had runny nose at the time. I got tested and on the same day, we received the news that I was positive. I already had the hunch about it but I still got disappointed and on top of it, I got so worried about JB because he has hypertension. After a couple of days JB got tested again because he had high fever and he is also positive, luckily, he also had mild symptoms. I am done with my isolation now and yesterday, I went to festival mall to run som errands. I am glad that JB is also getting better now and both of us may still have signs of Covid but I can't thank God enough that we are both able to get through this. Now more than ever, I appreciate that JB is my husband because he never left my side and even if he wasn't feeling well, he never failed to put my needs on top of his. God is good for giving me the best life partner in the world. Thank You, Lord we are still alive and definitely better than how we were before we had it. Covid, thanks for the reminder that you are still around the corner and you are still ready to infect us when there's a chance for you to do so.

[waninamaelian]

Not to be a Speak Now stan on main but "You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter" is still one of Taylor's best lyrics.

[waninamaelian]

Day 1 in 2 Weeks

I've been working in Amazon for two weeks now and so far so good? haha! We started out with training right away and we didn't have the luxury to take a breath and we immediately need to jump on, head first! I am actually tired physically but at the same time I have been having a lot of doubts, self doubts to be exact. I sometimes feel like I don't belong and I feel like I am not good enough but I know people in Amazon will not let me be part of the company if they did not believe that I can. I am excited for the future and I know what the Day 1 mindset in mind, I can make it. I will be good, better and best in my current role.

[waninamaelian]

Day out with the Sibs

Yesterday we met up with my siblings for a Samgyup lunch in QC. The days was filled with laughter and a lot of stories to tell each other.

Kuya and Ate went back here in Manila so Kuya can return his things from his last company so he took the opportunity to meet up with us for lunch. We first went to Geonabae Modern Korean Grill Bar for some unli samgyupsal. The ambience is okay and we all liked the food but on top of it, we enjoyed laughing with and at each other so much. After our quick lunch we went to Gateway where we had our dessert. We tried out multiple cakes with coffee while JB and I had halo halo. We didn't notice that we were just talking to each other for hours and because it is getting too late and we are afraid of rush hour we decided to leave at 5PM. I missed Kuya and Ate and I hope they can spend more time with us here in Manila, especially with Mama and Papa. i'm sure Mama misses them so much now.

The day could've been better if not to the shitty transportation problem in the PH. We rode the MRT which is promising because it only took 15mins from Kamuning to Ayala but the real problem started when we needed to find a bus to Alabang. The line in Ayala for the bus to Alabang is too long that is why JB and I decided to go to Market Market instead but we waited for almost two hours standing in line before we were able to ride the bus to Alabang. I wanted to give up and just get a Grab car, I almost cried in front of the people around us because of extreme tiredness and frustration good thing the bus came just in the knick of time. That's when I realized that we really need a car.

We are all set in getting the a new car next year and I want to actually get it soon. I am starting to be afraid of my new life starting tomorrow! I can only hope for a better commute life for the normal working Filipino people.

The day is still one of the best and I my heart is full to have spent the day with my siblings but I know best days are coming because we will have our own car in the future which would help us meet up with the family whenever we want to.

[waninamaelian]

2/5 

Today we needed to go to the office for our RTO day, my last day on the said office! I can't believe it. I was excited because I get to see my teammates and my TL but most of them are out because they started to have symptoms of covid. I thought I would be nostalgic and even shed a tear but I was surprised because I just felt a bit sad but at the same i felt happy and contented and it really felt that it is time to leave. I will definitely miss the people I've met from MDT, I may not have build a friendship like Mai and I had but I know I would never forget them and at the end of the day they have touched my life in more ways than one.

[waninamaelian]

1/5 Days left in MDT

As the title suggests, I am leaving my current job for an unexpected opportunity I got somewhere else. I am the type who would often get bored at a certain job after doing it for a while and would look for something better which would interest me (even if I don't know anything about it, if it picks my attention I would go for it) and of course would pay me more! Haha! I got hired in a bigger company last month and I couldn't be happier because I honestly did not expect that they would consider me for the post let alone hire me because of how badly (I think and feel) I did on the interview but I am very grateful that they have given me a chance. This opportunity makes me feel excited about the future but at the same time I feel sad and sentimental because it also means that I would have to leave my current job. This is what I have noticed about myself, whenever I am leaving a company, all I can remember will be the good things about it and I would forget the reasons why I wanted to leave in the first place to the point that I would doubt my decision and would keep questioning myself if I did the right thing. I think this is also a good thing because it means that I don't carry any grudge against my previous company or bosses. Anyways, MDT is extra special to me because I stayed here for 3 years and a half, the longest I've stayed in a company since I started working (IKR?!) so I decided to write the things I am thankful for the years ant the things I've learned from everyone I encountered through the years so that I can immortalize these things and so that I would have something to look back to in the future.

Today is day 1/5 of my final week and I was late. I wasn't able to get enough sleep earlier and I want to blame it on the coffee I had yesterday morning. I finally slept at around 3PM and needed to wake up 7PM which only gives me 4hrs of sleep. 4hrs of sleep! If you would tell the 21 year old me that the day would come that she would be okay and would function properly with only 4hrs of sleep, she would definitely laugh in your face and would not believe you. Well, 21 year old me, I hate to burst your bubble but you have living with only FOUR HOURS OF SLEEP for almost 4 years now. We've been in graveyard shift since I transferred here in MDT because we cater for American Patients but no matter how long I stay here, I never got used to sleeping in the morning. This is definitely one of the top reasons why I accepted my new job. It is permanently in morning shift (for now) which means that I get to sleep at night and probably regain the old sleeping schedule that I used to have. Don't get me wrong there are a lot of perks about the graveyard shift. For one, we have night differential pay which evens out the tax we have to pay every month. Graveyard shift also allows us to have a free morning to meet with friends or do some errands, you just have to sacrifice your sleep though but it comes handy if you really need to go to a government office or do a short grocery run. Lastly, the graveyard shift spares us from terrible traffic to and from work when we were still working in the office full time and allows us to have a peaceful environment when we work at home because we work while everyone is sleeping. You know, working in the graveyard shift is not all bad and there are a lot of perks that go with it but at this point, I want to prioritize my health especially that JB and I would like to have a child soon. I need to prepare my body for it which means that I need to be healthier so morning shift with Sat-Sun off really makes me a normal person which is what I've been wanting to have for a while now, I just hope that JB can have the same schedule though.

My shift went on just fine and it ended without me noticing it, I am happy and was constantly telling myself that I would definitely miss the schedule and talking to people but also know that it is time to go and start fresh for a better future so JB and I can accomplish our plans right away and start focusing on having a chid.

[waninamaelian]

Disappointment

This upcoming election is really causing my anxiety. I feel so hopeless because the people I expected to be morally upright are the same people who are pushing for the candidate who stole, killed and manipulated the country for a very long time. I feel sad that they are blindly supporting these people because of the videos and propaganda they see on Social Media and TV. I feel like I won't feel so strongly about this if I know that the person they are supporting at least have the capacity and capability to run the country and serve with all their hearts but you don't even hear them talk about their plans. They aren't even giving us any platform and concrete plans on how to resolve the country's current issues. They are not even allowing the reporters to ask them the questions that should be asked to get to know them. They relay on their mechanism and their money to spread false information and gain the publics trust. It makes me sad to think that this will be the country that my children will grow up with. The saddest part is their grandparents do not seem to care about them and just focus on what they think is right.

[waninamaelian]

I am officially surrendering everything to the Almighty. May Your will be done. I am just going to avoid mainstream social media for now and hide here in my ever reliable Tumblr as I contemplate about what on earth are the people around thinking. 😢🥲

[waninamaelian]

BETTER 2022

This year, I don't aim for excellence anymore. I don't want to pressure myself to be the best at anything - whether it's work, relationship with people or even my body. I just want to be BETTER. I just want to be the better version of myself. Better. This year will be better.