wanderlustinfection

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Make art everyday day 7 - orange ball

Took a break from food. Video I followed by luma_llama on YouTube.

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Make art every day challenge day 6 ~ pretzel

Followed a video by luma_llama on you tube. Had to improvise brushes.

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Make art everyday challenge - day 5 - Blueberry.

Tried to follow a video by Ashley Jessica art, wasn’t my favorite of the ones I’ve done so far.

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Tried it again with the symmetry tool and a different coloring technique.

Make art every day challenge day 4 - green snap pea. Design is Kawaii Sweet pea by Tatyana Deniz. Lines are shakey, 😅 still need to get figure out layers

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Make art every day challenge day 4 - green snap pea. Design is Kawaii Sweet pea by Tatyana Deniz. Lines are shakey, 😅 still need to get figure out layers

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Make art everyday day challenge Day 3 - Lemon. Tutorial, brushes and sketch by Tatyworks on YouTube. I enjoyed this one a lot, would like to check out other tutorials by her. I fucked up the stem a bit by not coloring in the right layer.

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Day 2 make art every day challenge

Didn’t follow a tutorial for this. Need to learn more about color in procreate.

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fuck it, all the what we do in the shadows alternative endings together thanks to discord

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You know, this is probably nobodies fault but I do chuckle whenever a show goes, "No! Rock and Metal are inauthentic and hollow! Only overproduced idol pop is real and speaks to the soul!"

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Sometimes self-care is, actually, NOT getting onto the computer and little treats and watching youtube videos. Sometimes those things are self-care, but sometimes they're also avoidant behaviors.

Sometimes self care is waking up and just. Fucking getting in the car. And driving to the bank. And the store. And buying the cat litter. And changing the cat boxes you've been avoiding because your brains been stuck in a hole. And picking up the trash you've been piling up. And getting a load into the wash. And mowing the lawn before the village council sends you a formal complaint and potential-fines warning.

Like its hard and annoying to do because it sucks. It sucks so much. But if I don't start working on this pile of bullshit I've let build up because it stinks and i was stuck in deer-in-headlights mode, I risk letting it turn into fuckery. I do not have the patience for fuckery that I once - foolishly! - thought I had.

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I'm trying to think of the perfect metaphor to explain to you exactly how I feel. Have you ever had something that was the pure, true and genuine ideal.  And then tried the extremely similar, only slightly different, so close you barely notice knock off after? To others, it looks the same, but you know. Maybe even you sometimes have trouble telling the difference. The knockoff might be able to sustain you, to placate the shallow surface desires that were once sustained by your ideal, it can even make you happy at times. But in the back of your mind, you know the difference between the two. YOu can't get the real thing out of your mind, what it was like to have it, even if you don't actively crave it anymore.  Sometimes your painstakingly aware you will never be truly satisfied with the knockoff, because something embedded into your soul craves the purity and originality of the ideal you once had. The insincerity of the knock off haunts you, you fret over how you constantly feel cheated and like your cheating, at the same time.  It feels ridiculous to explain to the rest of the world why you are not satisfied. The standard to which it is compared is alive only inside your mind, to articulate it makes it weaken and pale. So your faced with some choices.  You can shove away the whisper that warns you the real thing is still out there, you just havent found it again. You can ignore that voice, or try to. Or,  You can cast aside the knock off, in the name of honesty and purity and spend your life either waiting or searching for the real deal. And deal with the other little voice, the polar twin that whispers what if you never find it again, what if you left behind a little happiness for a lifetime of longing and pain. What if the ideal you remembered is magnified in your mind by faulty memory and your romantic imagination.  You don't see anyone else facing this problem so you don't mention it. 

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I still have the dream sometimes. I do. I come home from the store and find you on my doorstep with a suitcase. And not your entire wardrobe. Just a carry-on, a duffel bag. We don’t say anything, but you have this look in your eye that kills me. It just… And I unlock the door and let you in. And that’s it. That’s the dream. When I wake up, I wake up happy… vibrating for a few seconds with my head in the sand… content. Then it goes away, and you go away. I really don’t want to get out of bed then because it’s cold out there, but I do. I get up. Life goes on. Most days you never even cross my mind.

Jonah Moreno, Dakota Skye (via rawrzinyoface)

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Sometimes, I even try to imagine what it would be like to see him again. Which is crazy. It`s been so long I doubt I`d even recognize him now. I could probably walk past him in the street and not even know it was him. Oh, who am I kidding? I`d recognize him in an instant. Even in a crowd. And do you want to know something else? Deep down inside, I know if I saw him again, I would still feel exactly the same.

Alexandra Potter, “You’re The One That I Don’t Want” (via quote-book)

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Every saint has a past and every sinner has a future.

Oscar Wilde (via ikilledjackjohnson)

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To be alive at all is to have scars.

John Steinbeck (via misswallflower)

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