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I think the biggest "he would not fucking say that" I've ever experienced was when I read a terror modern au fic where the characters were doing land acknowledgements

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being on tumblr for a long time but never reading homestuck like

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YOU hate Christopher Columbus.

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I'm at a :.|:; for words.

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One of the funnier parts of political online-ness is seeing statements that are like "Oh so these people believe <thing> but they ALSO believe that <contradictory thing>? Make it make sense."

But <thing> and <contradictory thing> are in fact two entirely different beliefs held by two entirely different groups of people who, if given the opportunity, would kill each other with teeth.

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"The curse of the Pharaoh" trope is born from modern Egyptology and not part of ancient Egyptian beliefs, but I think the Pharaohs would really dig it.

"Fuck yeah I'm gonna curse whoever disturbs my afterlife! How fucking dare they?!"

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how to it feels to find fruit in the fridge thats gone bad you forgot to eat

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why do computers even need updates. I love her the way she is…

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I swear I get sad if I wake up and one is on the floor

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Wizard: Oh, I like your Goblin detecting sword! That's funny.

Goblin who thought they just had a cool glowing sword: ... My what now?

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Item: a tall cool glass of homemade Baja Blast, freshly squozen from ripe turquímones

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uh oohhh forgot to wipe down the cutting board from last night before cutting up strawberries #onionberries #onionberries #onionberries #onionberries #onionberries

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wow you got to the red stop light faster and more dangerously than anyone else. should we throw a party?? should we call nascar

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I'm getting so pissed with people who are saying Gwen isnt trans. Like they're trying to explain why her dad has a trans patch on his jacket and why she has a trans flag in her room, by saying she supports trans people... wtf???? Literally what ally has a TRANS FLAG, IN THEIR ROOM, BECAUSE THEY SUPPORT TRANS PEOPLE??? That's some shit closeted me would tell my parents when they saw me drawing rainbows. People that are saying this shit are literally just transphobic and dont want her to be trans. Gwen is trans and fuck everyone that argues against that.

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All I do during the Olympics is cry