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a severely underrated and underused pre-reveal-Red-Hood-plot is the one where Dick finds out that he’s Jason first, and out of desperation to make up for past failings at being a big brother and wanting to reconnect with Jason, he decides to keep it from the rest of the family and use it as a way for them to bond. clearly this could be funny for like a thousand different reasons, but the first way this could turn out that i can think of is obviously Bruce watching Nightwing and Red Hood getting closer and closer and instead of automatically coming to the realisation that it’s Dick getting to know and hanging out with his little brother, he immediately assumes that Nightwing and Red Hood are dating.

i’m torn between Jason finding this hysterical while Dick is horrified about it (Jason doesn’t have to deal with the sexual jokes from the family and talks about safety within villain/hero relationships) and both of them deciding it’s a prime opportunity to pull the greatest prank on Bruce possible (both of them leaning into the relationship thing publicly and then Jason casually taking off his helmet to give Dick a cheek-kiss and Bruce a fucking heart attack), but mostly i just think it would be funny if Dick got stressed about his web of lies and decided to rant to a friend, idk who probably Wally, and he gets to have this conversation:

Dick, pacing back and forth: i don’t know what to do, i mean my dad thinks i’m fucking my brother!

Wally, incredulous: …what the fuck did you do to make Bruce think you’re fucking Tim???

Dick, horrified: OH MY GOD NO? I MEANT JASON!

Wally: HE THINKS YOU’RE FUCKING A CORPSE!?

Dick: OK NO- I SHOULD HAVE EXPLAINED BETTER WAIT A SECOND-

Wally: *distressed noises*

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not beating the cat boy allegations

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They're projecting their God Valley related grievances onto a competition over mugs.

Prompt by @kazza-spexy who suggested "Xebec & Garp fighting over the ‘best grandpa’ mug constantly, the ‘best pop’ mug went to Edward and the ‘best grandma’ mug went jokingly to Rayleigh. Who doesn’t totally adore it, and use it every day, shut up!"

And I used the prompt to also spice up the silly time travelling AU with some angst! >:3

(Context for the "don't tell Crocodile" comment.)

(Context for Rayleigh getting the Grandma mug.)

(First time travel comic. This AU doesn't have a name yet...)

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The New Titans #60

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Only those who have seen the light know that Bruce Wayne is absolutely the type of annoying father who asks for his adult children for grandkids EVERY chance possible. This is the same man who immediately put in his two weeks notice from batman-ing the MINUTE he discovered he had a granddaughter.

Bruce, materialising in bludhaven: when are you and Barbara getting married

Dick: NO.

Bruce: *sad GRANDCHILDLESS noises*

Bruce, materialising in crime alley: when you are going to settle down with a nice girl or guy and give me a-

Jason: *starts shooting*

Bruce, materialising in the clocktower:

Babs: don’t even fucking think about it

Bruce: *dematerialises away sadly*

Finally, at the annual family dinner, Bruce: whoever is the first to bring me a grandchild will be banned from ever having to take over batman

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Dick is the type of person to yell “Bruce catch!” And let go of his grapple while swinging full speed.

When Dick eventually left behind was fired from Robin he still continued swinging at Bruce, and Bruce never failed to catch him.

And when Jason became Robin, and Dick got mostly past Bruce giving his name to the kid. Dick told Jason stories about it, never showing him except once, when he and Bruce were on slightly better terms. Dick did it more forceful than usual.

It took Jason a month or two as Robin before he was comfortable enough with Bruce to trust him to catch him.

For Tim, they didn’t show him. But he’d picked it up from seeing Dick and Jason do it. The first time he did it, it damn near gave Bruce and Dick a heart attack.

For the short period Steph was Robin see never got the chance. But you bet she remedied that when she became Spoiler.

Damian was more hesitant. Always worried it would be a trick. Because it was an easy way to ‘accidentally’ cause him harm. But after seeing Dick, Tim, and Steph do it and be caught every time, he eventually gave in. You’d never catch him admitting it but that first moment wrapped in his Father’s arms as Bruce caught him for the first time, and the small smile Bruce gave him when he stepped away, that is one of his favorite memories.

Cause Bruce would always be there to catch him.

He couldn’t catch Jason, never again.

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shout out to everyone who participated in the january-february mass depressive episode

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nobody can tell me that tim drake would not get McDonalds In The Pentagon stuck in his head. this mfer is chronically online, he'd be humming it randomly throughout the day and would absolutely break into song randomly when he thinks he's alone.

tim, at the batcomputer because he bruised his ribs and is banned from patrol: "--it did not go well for Taco Bell and there was all that stress at the old Panda Express~" jason, over comms: what the hell are you singing?? tim: uhhhhh.

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one of my worst writing sins is abusing my power to create compound words. i cannot write the sentence "The sun shone as bright as honey that afternoon." no. that's boring. "The sun was honey-bright that afternoon" however? yes. that sentence is dope as fuck. i do not care if "honey-bright" is a word in the english dictionary. i do not care if the sentence is grammatically correct. i will not change. i will not correct my erred ways. the laws of the english language are mine.

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ao3 commenter: wow I didn't expect this fic to be good

me, the author:

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sometimes you need dialogue tags and don't want to use the same four

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Jason, texting Tim: at batburger rn. you want anything?

Tim: i’m in a meeting

Jason: okay

Jason: so what do you want?

Tim: the batburger deluxe without pickles and extra ketchup, as well as jorkerized fries and robin nuggets

Jason: okay fatass

LATER

Jason: come to lobby. i have your food. bitch ass security won’t let me come to you

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i'm thinking about jason vs white streak and a helmet that doesn't cover his entire face, and the absolute missed comedy of the entirety of crime alley thinking that they are getting beaten up by a very old man.

Average crime alley guy: yeah and then he stopped wearing the full face cover and his hair is like white underneath it's so weird--

other guy: wait. like. white? Like. LIke old person white?

Average crime alley guy: oh my god. oh my goooood. he uses a voice modulator to hide that he's approximately 98 years old. mr hood sir do you need help crossing the street?

Jason, 19: ?????????????

jason then realizes the convenience of being able to take off the mask and no one realize it's him because they're looking for someone older than alfred and just goes along with it and tells increasingly made up stories about being young in the 40s while shooting peoples kneecaps out.

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AND AND IT HAS 10K+ WORDS AND IS STILL BEING UPDATED?!?

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Gotham is like if an intrusive thought was a city