vxsionary-blog

[vxsionary-blog]

There was a dirt path cutting through the wildflowers. Lucjan had come across them completely by accident. He didn’t often come to Kalos and didn’t like how his accent immediately made him stick out against the backdrop. But the region was undeniably beautiful. The cities were gorgeous expanses of innovate architecture — particularly Lumiose, whose legendary size and its Pokemon gym had drawn him there first. The first cafe he’d encountered had been charming. And then he’d departed and turned the block and there were more. After a point they all began looking the same and he was left trying to fathom how there was such a demand for cafes that all of these could stand to be in business. Night or day, the city hummed with such vibrancy. The city of light, indeed.

But he’d left Lumiose a few days ago and was enjoying the stark contrast between the crowded city and the empty expanse of flowers. It was just him and August, who preferred lonely outdoors over cities anyhow. The Mightyena was trotting long and low beside him while Lucjan fiddled with the wide angle camera lens. Despite having grown up in Verdanturf, he felt much more at home within the density of urban cities. He drank in the glory of the Prism Tower and the art museums, but there was something rather serene about the untouched wilderness. Places like these were an example of luxury. Green belts and preserves could only exist as long as civilization was sustained.

It was a surprise then when an Arcanine burst out from the orchard further ahead and Lucjan looked up as the hound bounded into the field of flowers. It was a disappointment as well — Arcanine of course was no wild Pokemon, which meant that there was another person nearby, and Lucjan was in no mood to battle. Traveling trainers had this sort of code about locking eyes meant battling, which was cute for children and their small Pokemon who would just nip at one another until one became exhausted, but strong Pokemon could level the ground, and flood or scorch their battlefield. It wasn’t practical, which was another reason he liked to pretend to be absolutely no one — besides the irony, of course.

The fire Pokemon was nearly twice the size of his Mightyena, but August perked up anyway, his red eyes trained on the Arcanine darting through the flowers and giving loud, hollow barks. The Mightyena’s body went rigid and he took a few steps on the trail towards the Arcanine. It was only a moment later when the Arcanine’s owner came running out from the trees, some girl with dark hair and lungs of steel. Lucjan watched the scene unfold as he snapped the lens into place. When the girl ran into the field after the Arcanine, August barked, enraptured by whatever excitement they were up to. The Pokemon waded into the flowers, his black tail stiff behind him as he barked again, once then twice.

It was quite clear that “Peli” had found something more fun than whatever her trainer wished her to do, and Lucjan found the Arcanine darting away from her dreadfully amusing. (It was less funny, however, when his Numel was more inclined to sleep than instigate battles, visions of a fierce Camerupt be damned) “Need any help?” he shouted over to her, an amused little smirk on his face as he let his camera fall against his chest.

Where the Wildflowers Grow|| Hannah & Lucjan

Hannah was relieved, the warmth of spring finally returning and all the flora bursting back to life. Back home the orchards were in bloom with petals of white and pink coating the branches up in the heavens above, and carpeting the soft grass below. It was a nostalgic visit home, but it was about time to go out on her own. To go back out on the road again. The warm weather was a welcome change. It made it easier to move. 

Coppelia was certainly happy to be out of her ball, feeling the cool breeze through her fur and being surprisingly good today. She hadn’t instigated a single fight with a young pokemon (consequently causing the mother to come chasing her down), and the arcanine just seemed content to staying at her side. Nana could just whistle her tune and keep moving on. 

Though… Something was off. Very off.

Nana stopped in her tracks and noticed that her hopes were indeed far too high for that rowdy pup. Coppelia was nowhere to be found. She heaved a heavy sigh and honestly should’ve never put that much trust into a Naughty natured pokemon, “Copelia! Peli Peli!” Nana went running to find where the thing went, “Damn mutt… COPPELIA!” 

And ultimately, it should’ve been of no surprise that she caught the fire pokemon gallivanting through a field of flowers, barking excitedly and biting at nothing. She sighed and ran into the field. The dog pokemon took this as wanting to play and ran away, “PELI GET BACK HERE!” But it refused to listen.

[vxsionary-blog]

Team Rocket: is an actual gang that wants money with a hot dad for a boss

Team Aqua & Magma: environmental extremists with bosses that experience sexual tension 24/7

Team Galactic: literally tried to destroy the universe because old-looking boss is edgy

Team Plasma: PeTA with an ugly dad for a boss and a son who did nothing wrong

Team Flare: Mass genocide and nice suits

[vxsionary-blog]

Longer than I thought. “Mm.” Lucjan neither had thought of the princess and the Gyarados for some time, but he still waded in this fantasy world. When most adolescents had found it necessary to ground themselves, he still flew towards the sun on otherworldly wings, or perhaps it was simply wealth that elevated him, and arrogance. Lucjan regarded Bonny quietly, guilt stinging him and he wished he could bite back his words. For him, he wanted to draw the line between childhood and the present thick. It seemed Bonny had done much the same, though to Lucjan they still seemed young, and one should be permitted to chase story tales for as long as they wished.

He was not surprised to hear that Bonny didn’t receive many visitors, but their weak tone was still off-putting. Over in Ever Grande they were surrounded by so many walls that it must be difficult for friends to find the time and incentive to visit, but Bonny’s critics with their poisonous passion always had motivation. Lucjan had never had the stigma of his identity not settling evenly against the background. Certainly Bonny was a controversial Champion, and Lucjan found the criticism petty. Concerned about morals. Worried for the children. If the League disliked the media attention, their arm was twisted — Bonny had won the position fairly, and it was too late for anyone to do anything but complain. Unfortunately the topic of Bonny’s gender was far more appetizing for consumers than anything like the structure budgets or environmental concerns. The Champion was a fairly static position and thus when Bonny was mentioned on the radio, it was more often than not a criticism or a jib regarding their identity.

Lucjan found League battling generally uninteresting. He preferred to have his adrenaline rush be for a reason, besides a little badge. That sort of fame and recognition had never appealed to him. Badges were like little trinkets, their worth fueled solely by the League, and meaningless in the grand scope of things. Though perhaps it was more interesting at the top of the ladder. But how meaningful were those victories? “It seems like it’s busy enough without them,” he commented, a smalltalk jest.

With Bonny it was much easier to talk about the light subjects. Lucjan was close enough to Bonny that he felt personally attached and even culpable with regards to their mood, but distant enough that he felt uncomfortable comforting them. He was charmed by Bonny’s answer, which was reminiscent of him when he left home — someone who didn’t quite know where to start looking. “Everywhere?” Lucjan repeated, brandishing a grin again. “Well, I suppose if you’re going to pick, might as well pick everywhere.” Seeing things that weren’t meant to be seen rang true with him. There was a reason why one put up gates, or why tourists shied away. No matter how menial it might be, Lucjan adored finding places where not many had tread. It made him feel — different.

But Bonny had such a dismal view of traveling, reaching a hand towards it and retracting immediately. The feeling of binding fear now seemed so foreign. He had primarily been afraid of the physical dangers — he was young, and his Pokemon were weak. But Bonny was quite literally the strongest trainer in the region, and Lucjan would have thought they would be inclined to detach themself from societal negligence and explore. Easy to lose yourself. He disagreed wholeheartedly.

“I think it’s easier to lose yourself if you never leave,” he began, in a sort of roundabout way — Lucjan could never hold his tongue and resist disagreeing, especially not to Bonny, who had been on the receiving end of his passionate thoughts throughout their childhood. “You grow up influenced by family, friends, teachers. And then your entire sense of self is built around what they’ve told you. It doesn’t occur to you to think any different, because you don’t know anything else. But when you leave, you’re finally alone. The isolation is...” He tasted the word on his tongue and then continued, dreamy. “Freeing. You can finally stitch together what really matters.”

But Bonny was correct in that he didn’t understand the feeling, at least not any longer. Lucjan itched for progress, itched for movement. His fear was to be anchored to one place and to be incapable of utilizing anything outside of it. And perhaps that wasn’t a feeling Bonny could understand either, and he cast the other a small smile. For this moment he regretted that he couldn’t pull Bonny out of the jaws of the League and open their eyes to something beyond the futility of law and battles. Liked to do what he did, indeed.

“But what if the unknown’s more wonderful than what you’ve got here?” he asked, his eyes bright. Lucjan was the hound of the fable who would lose the bone in his mouth chasing after the one reflected in the water, but thus far his hunger of claiming the unknown had awarded him more prizes than it had seized.

On the Horizon // Lucjan & Bonny

Onceupon a time, there was a beautiful princess. She lived in the forests by day,talking idly with the passing fairies. And every once in a while, she wouldstop to say hello. One day, she was stopped by a Gyarados. He scared away thefairies, but he did not scare the wandering woman. “What are you doing here, in my forest?” She asked. “You’re scaring those who live here.” And the Gyarados simply nodded. “I live in your forest too, my princess. Should I hide myself in my own home?” And to that, the princess was speechless. If she said no, the Gyarados would be feared. If she said yes, he would be forced to live in solitude, in hiding. “I think, what you should do,” The princess said, “Is tear down the forest with your teeth. Show the fairies you are a god, my friend, and you shall never need to hide. So the Gyarados did as she said. He tore down the forest, destroying all in his path. And when he’d finished, he approached the princess again.

“Princess,” He said. “I’ve finished. I tore down the forest, and I am a god. Must I live in hiding any longer?” But the princess did not look at him, for she was crying. “No, you have done wrong. You have killed those who might have respected you.” The Gyarados was afraid, and looked at her once more. “What about you, princess? Do you respect me?” The princess looked up at him and replied, “If you tear me down with your teeth, those who respect me shall respect you, and you shall never need to hide.” So the Gyarados did as she said, and stabbed the princess with his terrible teeth. “Must I live in hiding any longer?” He asked, as the princess bled. “No,” Said the princess. “Because now, you will be hunted. You will not be able to hide, for you shall never stay in one place long enough to hide.” And so the Gyarados knew she spoke the truth, and fled from the forest. If you listen for it, you might hear the sound of his horrible jaws destroying something more, for fear of hiding again. Listen closely, and you can hear the princess weeping.

What wonderful stories they’d been. Years and years ago, Bonny had believed every word. They’d stayed up late at night, listening closely for the sound of destruction and the weeping of a princess in the forest. They talked with the Gyarados, asking about the fairies. It had been so innocent back then. Bonny had believed every word of that story. They’d heard it millions of times, late at night and early in the morning. Even now, Bonny liked to believe they still lived in that kind of fantasy world, where princesses and fairies still existed. “It was longer than I thought.” Bonny said softly. And, right there, after years of not listening, Bonny was sure they could hear the roar of the Gyarados and the weeping of the princess.

“Less people than you’d think, really.” Bonny said, halfheartedly at best. It was common knowledge that most people didn’t approve of Bonny holding the position as Hoenn Champion. They thought that having a genderfluid member of the League promoted ‘this kind of behavior from children’ and other things like that. If people wanted to visit Bonny, it was more often than not to yell gendered slurs at them, or to protest their position. It was hard to deal with, some days. But Bonny just laughed and let it happen, knowing it would only get worse if they opposed it. The Champion shrugged. “I don’t mind it, really. I’d rather have the time alone anyways. It gets a little quiet, but that’s alright. I don’t get many challengers, after all.” It was so rare that a trainer managed to get through the Elite Four, and they were never any match for the reigning Champion.

Bonny may be a pushover in their everyday life, but they were relentless in battle. They were the Champion for a reason, after all. Lucjan’s question caught them off guard, though. Bonny had never really thought about it, in particular. Smiling softly, they shook their head. “I’d like to go everywhere. I want to see everything there is to see, and then some things that aren’t meant to be seen.” They closed their eyes, laughing lightly at the prospect of it. “No, I don’t think I’ll ever go anywhere. The world is a scary place. It’s easy to get lost and easier to lose yourself, you know. Even though people don’t like me all too much here, it’s all I know. And the unknown is scary, to someone who’s been in one place for so long. I don’t think you understand that feeling, my friend.” They smiled softly. “You’ve seen the world. You know what it’s like. You aren’t afraid anymore. Though I’d like to do what you do, I’m afraid that I’m afraid.”

[vxsionary-blog]

At the mention of the story he had to laugh, a bit embarrassed. He had notebooks filled with ideas and stories and he hadn’t read through them in years, though talking with Bonny felt nearly like the same thing. They conversed more about the past than the present, and Lucjan wouldn’t let himself be too precise about the future. But it made him feel a nip of pride to hear that Bonny still remembered those old stories he’d talk about, and he’d tell them so seriously, or so wondrously, convinced there was a seed of truth at the heart of them. Perhaps it was a byproduct of growing up in the shadow of Groudon and Kyogre’s destruction. If two gods could rear from the earth, then lost princesses and sentient Gyaradoses could certainly be plausible.

“That was a long time ago,” Lucjan mused, amused. How much things had changed since then, at least for him. He didn’t even know what had changed within Bonny, as they still were so reminiscent of their younger self, but it seemed it would be impossible to become Champion and not change at all. The principle difference was that Bonny seemed more — fatigued, less quick to smile, so busy. They didn’t seem at all bitter towards him, as Lucjan had been concerned, but just tired. Returning home on this day wasn’t exactly a light occasion, but it didn’t make Lucjan think any better of the League that Bonny was made to feel fortunate to be permitted to pay their respects.

Bonny’s sudden exuberance then took him by surprise. He hadn’t expected them to react so genuinely, and it was so stark compared to the rather melancholy way they’d been speaking. Fortunate the League let them from their sights, so busy — perhaps Bonny was more honest than Lucjan gave them credit for, and wasn’t simply being polite. When Lucjan said he was busy it was true enough, but it was still more an excuse than an explanation. Lucjan would never put a toe near the League. That aside, he couldn’t imagine how he’d fill an entire visit with words. Even as Bonny grew older, they still remained young to him, and he felt an instinct to speak to them as such. “That’d be nice,” Lucjan continued on that same script, forcing a smile despite the uncomfortable feeling swelling in him. It was a white lie, worthwhile to make Bonny happy, though it felt more poisonous than just being straightforward with them. “You must get so many people wanting to visit,” Lucjan ventured, watching his expression.

That familiarity, of Bonny young and inquisitive, was tantalizing, but still felt just out of reach. There was a glint of it as Bonny agreed with him and Lucjan was genuinely pleased. Bonny was right — there were so many that were in need of help and so many who weren’t able to untangle themselves enough to recognize it. And certainly the world had enough darkness and fear, but Bonny too understood that it was so precious. It was what Lucjan had always believed. Even the dark fairy tales were wondrous.   

You already help people. Lucjan was completely taken aback and his brows furrowed in surprise. Bonny had said it so simply, and Lucjan had never even considered — it was not what he had meant, but the comment settled on him. They had not seen each other in so long. Lucjan was not so inclined to help each person individually, which was something so good that any man could do it, but it was jarring to hear that Bonny thought he’d helped them. Even more so was the way they’d said it. He’d been spending the last few years selfish and vivacious, cultivating his ideas alone, and somehow Bonny had found a surrogate in him, to experience what they could not. Maybe it was not so much a compliment as a longing, a wanting to be a part of the world, when Bonny already exemplified what was so good about it.

“Never?” Lucjan echoed. Bonny sounded so finite, like a pet on a string. Lucjan pinched his tongue in between his teeth. He was not in the business of pleasing old friends, but it was hard not to be torn back to who he’d been as a teenager with Bonny standing right in front of him, so melancholy. They said they had such wonderful tales, but it didn’t sound as if they believed it. “Where would you go?” he asked, slow. Lucjan had wanted desperately to avoid this conversation, but strangely enough, it was melting into something that was alright. Bonny wasn’t needing to believe his lies. “If you could pick anywhere, theoretically. What have you always wanted to see?”

On the Horizon // Lucjan & Bonny

“Maybe not. You do come up with the most fantastic stories. I still remember the one about the Gyarados and the princess.” Bonny sighed, starry-eyed at the memory. They had been like that as a child. Willing to learn about anything; willing to listen to any story.Everything was interesting to them. It still was, but some of that passion had been lost along the way. The wonder in their life was fading, that innocence and beauty of childhood was dying. And Bonny knew it. They were trying desperately to retain some of that passion and pure love for what they did. Itwas more difficult than Bonny had expected, and it only got harder. But it wasn’t their fault at all. No, the fault belonged to the League.

In one swift move, they’d managed to tie down their Champion. They had made Bonny believe that they were lucky to get time off for something like this. Lucky to bow to the whims of the higher-ups. And they were just naïve enough to let it happen. Bonny had a habit for seeing the best in people. And, because of that, they were easily manipulated. It wasn’t difficult to get Bonny wrapped around the League’s finger. They’d achieved the dream every child held; to be in charge of everything. And yet, they had nothing to be proud of. Bonny’s future had already been played out. Everyone knew exactly how Bonny’s life was going to play out, if they stayed in the League long enough. The only person who hadn’t figured it out was Bonny themselves.

Bonny couldn’t hold back their surprise when Lucjan spoke once more. I’ve missed seeing you. Even though they couldn’t quite decipher whether or not the words were spoken in truth, but they were willing to believe that they were. If it was true, then that meant the world to the Champion. For a moment, their smile was completely genuine. Bonny was just happy, without any strings attached. It was always wonderful to see an old friend. Especially one that was so admired. “No, no, you don’t have to do that!” They assured with a laugh. “You’re always welcome to drop by. I’d love to show you around sometime.” It was an invitation Bonny knew wouldn’t be taken. But it still felt appropriate to offer it, nonetheless. They’d love to let Lucjan back into their life again. It had been such a long time, and Bonny felt bad for leaving him out of the loop all these years.

Usually, they wouldn’t have been so talkative at a time like this. In a word, Bonny was depressed. Not only was it the anniversary of Celeste’s death, but they just hadn’t been in the mood recently. The League was shoving piles and piles of paperwork at them. Honesty, it was suffocating. They had to come into work three hours early and leave three hours later to hopefully get the day’s work finished on time. It was exhausting. Bonny hadn’t even had the time to think, much less catch up with friends. It was a good reminder, though, that there were people willing to help. Or, at least, there were people willing to talk. That was close enough. People made Bonny blossom.

Listening intently, Bonny wondered what it was like. To be able to travel, to see the world. They’d always wanted to do something like that. But it was rare to even get alone time. How would they be able to do that? Besides, Bonny was afraid to leave. Hoenn was familiar. Hoenn was home. There was no telling what the rest of the world held, but wasn’t that the excitement of it? Bonny just smiled. They wanted to go and do something amazing, like Lucjan. Surely, he’d found his purpose in the world. Bonny hadn’t, yet. They were searching, waiting. While that Emptiness crept up behind them and threatened to leap any minute.

“There is.” The Champion agreed. “There are a lot of beautiful things out there. There’s a lot of people who need a lot of help, you know. The world is dangerous and scary. But it’s beautiful.” Their voice was breathless and taken away to some faraway place that could never be visited. “You already help people, Lucjan. You’ve helped me a lot. Because of you, I found solace in the places I could never go.” They sighed, drifting their gaze across the sea.

“The world is full of good. I hope I can be a part of it someday.”

[vxsionary-blog]

Wonderful. Lucjan had to smile; he was glad that Bonny was able to find wonder in their life, as it was something he personally thrived on. It had been some time ago, but not terribly long, that Bonny had regaled him with stories of traveling while he stayed in Verdanturf and dreamed. The world was more wonderful than he could have imagined, more wonderful than Bonny’s words could have foretold. It was also more terrible and misguided, and Lucjan knew Bonny was not so naive as to not see that darkness. They’d found the light, as Lucjan had — through a different sort of way, but it made him happy nonetheless that after all of these years, Bonny still wondered.

But — paranoia dragged him to analyze the sort of guardedness to their choice of words. More so than you'd ever believe? Of course, he couldn’t possibly understand how it felt to be Champion, nor did he ever want that responsibility, lest he wilt from the fame.  Perhaps he deserved to be locked out from Bonny’s personal life. He hadn’t even wanted to be held captive by his stories until now, until he was denied and began to fear that something had changed between them. But wasn’t that the point?

“More wonderful than I’d ever believe? Impossible,” Lucjan teased him. He was the connoisseur of fantasies, even back when he was a child and didn’t yet know how to solidify them. And now that he did, now that he had the world as his resource, he found his fantasies in different sort of things — but fantasies nonetheless. The world was as malleable as he’d wished it to be as a child. His wonder was his own potential.

The smile slipped from his face as Bonny continued. He hadn’t even considered — but it was around this time of year, now that he thought about it, and Lucjan immediately felt cold for asking. He’d assumed that Bonny was in Slateport to visit family and friends, or perhaps even for some professional reason, but he somehow hadn’t considered this. Bonny was still smiling, either because they meant it or they knew it would be even more awkward if they didn’t, but Lucjan didn’t know what expression to wear. Of course that was why they were on the beach in the early hours of the morning.

He nodded. Back when they saw each other more frequently, being supportive, being protective came naturally, but now he couldn’t think of a reply. Likely Bonny didn’t even want to talk about it, least of all with someone they hadn’t seen in a while, and any pandering sympathetic words Lucjan could think of had surely been said to them many times before. I’m sorry no longer seemed sincere, and the words felt hollow even just in his head. Lucjan sobered, letting the silence gape until Bonny spoke up again.

“No, I understand,” he murmured, subdued. Bonny suddenly seemed very far away. The way they spoke of the League made them sound nearly trapped — lucky that the League permitted it, lucky they didn’t leak it to the media. Bonny made it sound like they wanted to clip their wings, and Lucjan realized that news segments didn’t make up for not seeing Bonny for months, years. But Bonny was still smiling and he forced himself to smile as well. That was what old friends who had drifted apart did. They just smiled. “I’ve been busy too,” he said, because Bonny’s life seemed like a whirlwind, and to saddle them with the responsibility of an ebbing friendship suddenly felt cruel. “I’ve missed seeing you,” he started, abrupt. It seemed like it needed to be said, like now he was suddenly following a script. “I’ll have to battle my way through the Elite Four next time I want to say hi.” His tone was teasing, though hopefully it didn’t sound too much like a lie, considering how he had trouble even returning a letter in a timely manner.

But the attention had been diverted back onto him and Lucjan felt awkward and trapped. Bonny had just reminded him it was the anniversary of their sister’s death, and of course now he couldn’t ask them more about themself, or even cut the conversation there. Normally Lucjan loved to talk about himself. He had so many ideas, theories, visions that he would preach about if given the chance the speak — but it was all moot when speaking with Bonny, and Lucjan was left without a lie to cling to. “Traveling” was so vague, and now even worse seemed impersonal and rude. The leader had to smile bitterly at the praise — the great. How he’d cherished that when he was younger. Of course he still believed it now, that he was destined for something extraordinary, but coming from naive Bonny, it sounded so melancholy. Bonny didn’t know. All they knew of him was the past.

Lucjan let out a breathy laugh. “Nothing spectacular, yet,” he said and he smiled, lazy. “I’ve been traveling. Battling. Nothing like becoming the Champion,” he grinned. That was certainly true, not thus far. His intentions were really nothing like becoming the Champion. His smile softened then, and he allowed his gaze to drift off towards the ocean, at the ships, at the sunrise. “There’s so much good in the world. It’s so beautiful.” There was, and it wooed him. “But it doesn’t know what it needs, sometimes. It hurts itself.” Nobody was wise. They all were born built with good intentions, but nobody was wise. Lucjan had to admire it, though. How utterly good mankind had to be to hurt themselves so badly. Men didn’t cut down the rainforest to kill Pokemon. They did it to serve their fellow man. “I want to help people,” he murmured, and looked back to Bonny, smiling again. “Someday, at least, I will.”

On the Horizon // Lucjan & Bonny

Perhaps it was foolish of Bonny to believe that they could make up for years of stifled contact in one chance encounter on a beach, at three in the morning. The fact that it was impossible certainly wouldn’t deter the Champion, however. If they saw even aremote possibility, they’d put their all into making it a reality. Because, eventhough Lucjan had probably forgotten about Bonny along the way, Bonny stillthought of him as a friend. Time wouldn’t do anything to changethat. “It’s more busy and more wonderful than you’d ever believe.” Theirvoice was breathless and full of stories that they’d never get the chance to tell.

There came the obvious question. What are you up to in Slateport? Bonny couldn’t lie. That was against their morals, and they were probably the worst liar in the world when it came to people they cared about. But it felt… odd, to tell Lucjan. He knew just as well as anyone else about Celeste and had even been there to help Bonny after her sudden death. But that didn’t make the words any sweeter. “Well, you know I lived here when I was younger, and I took a few days off to see my parents. And, well, to pay my respects. Tomorrow, or, I guess, today, is the anniversary of her death.” Even after all these years, the words stung. It was difficult not to let that smile fade while talking about it, but Bonny remembered a certain conversation they’d had with Aki not too long ago.

If I don’t smile, who will? 

“I do this every year. I’m lucky the League doesn’t mind it. And even luckier that they don’t tell the media where I’m running off to.” Perhaps that made them sound a bit bitter, but Bonny was growing a bit disillusioned with all the fame. It wasn’t the same as it had been in beginning. When they had first taken up the position, the bright lights and exciting challenges were more than enough to keep them happy. Now, those matches only happened once in a blue moon. If they happenet 

That wasn’t to say that Bonny didn’t appreciate one when it came around, though. But they thrived when they were around people. Sitting in an empty room, praying for a challenger… That wasn’t what Bonny wanted to do. It felt wrong. Like they weren’t meant to be Champion, after all.

Of course, they could never tell Lucjan that. Everyone liked to believe that Bonny was perfectly content no matter where they were. And Bonny did so hate to disappoint people. Not that it mattered much. If Bonny really needed, they could convince anyone of anything. With a smile and an innocent look, it wasn’t difficult. The best way to tell a good lie was one they’d figured out a long time ago. You have to believe it. You have to make other people think it, by thinking it yourself. It wasn’t even lying anymore. It was just natural. Bending the truth, to help others. They didn’t want to worry anyone, after all.

And then, suddenly, Bonny felt a lot more sheepish around him. It had been longer than they remembered. Perhaps Lucjan was just pitying a poor soul walking along the beach, willing to stop and talk and just leave matters undecided once again. Bonny would try their best to avoid that. Just the small talk, pleasantries, then parting ways once again. Bonny wondered if Lucjan had something to hide from them, sometimes. That could certainly contribute to why he was so dreadfully brief in conversation. But it wasn’t any of Bonny’s business, so that idea was pushed to the side.

“I’m really sorry I haven’t been able to talk much. There’s lots of stuff to do, y’know? I’m sure you’ve been busy, too. Speaking of which, what have you been up to? I haven’t heard anything about the great Lucjan in a long time.” It was easier to talk about Lucjan. That way, Bonny didn’t have to tell all those little lies. They never lied about anything big or important. Just the emotions behind it all. A little white lie about how they were feeling was inconsequential, right? Not that it mattered. It was better to just suffer in silence, and bear through it with a smile and a laugh. That was the best way to do things.

[vxsionary-blog]

The Mightyena’s head ducked as Bonny’s fingers scratched behind his ears and his tail whipped back and forth. He was a devilish creature to those who did not know him, but he knew Bonny, and Bonny was Good.

Lucjan stepped across the sand towards them, but even from the distance he could see that Bonny’s face was devoid of their smile. It was something with which he’d come to associate them, and it filled him with trepidation. Lucjan couldn’t imagine the emptiness that Bonny suffered — to him, Bonny had always belonged to the world. They’d wanted to become the strongest trainer, and Lucjan did too know why, and they had. Bonny’s success was no longer in Lucjan’s world, but he was happy for them, and proud of them, and it was natural to assume Bonny felt the same. This was what they had wanted, after all.

Confronted with Bonny’s empty expression, Lucjan immediately assumed it was he who had plucked the smile from Bonny’s face. Bonny was all of the innocence and simplicity that Lucjan decided lay behind him, and they were the childhood he’d disentangled from his future. As close as he was to Bonny, and as well as he proclaimed to know them, that blinded him, and he was much poorer at reading the Champion than perhaps anyone else. Bonny had a way of letting him slip into old vulnerability. The strangers around him were empty trains on their own tracks, but Bonny was different — they were a friend, and Lucjan had thought he knew what Bonny wanted, and what made them happy.

Of course, if Bonny was upset with him, it wouldn’t exactly be misplaced. Lucjan was braced to taste self-loathing when he’d walked over to them.

Silence stung the air when he’d slowed down and stopped in front of Bonny. Fortunately, it was only a matter of moments before Bonny filled the gap. They had a way of doing that, and Lucjan was both relieved at their smile and unsettled at the intimacy of the conversation. It wasn’t often he was thrust into something as warm as this and it made him feel out of sorts.

“It’s good to see you too,” he replied, and it wasn’t entirely untrue. However he much preferred to keep his encounters with Bonny strictly within the media. Whenever Bonny was interviewed on television or mentioned on the radio he’d turn the volume up, but real life conversations were much more difficult because he was expected to reciprocate — which was, nowadays, just clumsy lying.

Bonny was smiling and Lucjan felt inclined to smile as well, mustering up a weak one. I missed you a lot. Had it come from anyone else, he would have sneered, but Bonny’s sincerity simply made him feel small. Very few people wore their heart on their sleeve, as Bonny did, and spoke with such genuine emotion. When they abruptly grabbed his hands, Lucjan’s lips curled back into an open, sheepish smile.

“It must be busy,” he agreed, willingly pushing a fair amount of the blame for their lack of contact onto Bonny’s shoulders. I’ve missed you too was too raw for him to say, and he wasn’t sure if it’d be wholly true or not. It’d be easier to say if it wasn’t. “I’ve been well.” Vague enough. “How’s the life of a Champion? What are you up to in Slateport?” He spoke stiffly but with a smile and a tilt of his head, not genuinely curious but willing enough to let Bonny ramble. Talking about Bonny felt more natural; he could nod and agree and wish them all the best. Bonny seemed to always bear good news, or at least a silver lining — Lucjan of course knew how much weight had lay behind that smile, but Bonny encapsulated the bright side, at least in his eyes.

On the Horizon // Lucjan & Bonny

That blue jacket was more than just an article of clothing, to the Champion. It was something they’d held onto for years, and wore almost every day, since the time they were a child. It had been the property of the late Celeste Phillips, who had offered it to Bonny the day before her death. Wearing it made Bonny remember things. It smelled like her perfume, even after all these years. It held memories that Bonny didn’t know of. They remembered every rip and tear, every moment she wore it. It was so much more than just a jacket. Bonny loved that feeling of knowing Celeste was there, though. They knew she’d died because she was unhappy. Bonny had never considered her actions, though. They’d never forget that day. The day their life shattered.

Glancing out over the horizon, Bonny felt like a child again. In the first few days after her death, they had come down to the beach often. As though they expected to see her on the waves, laughing. At least she was finally free. Free to sail the waves as she wished. Nothing could tie her down anymore. Bonny smiled at the thought of it, taking their eyes off the waves. Sometimes they wondered what was at the bottom of the sea. Was it empty? Or was it full of life, bustling and busy, like the land above the water? Directing their gaze and thoughts away from the water, Bonny tried to clear their thoughts. Thinking of Celeste made them think about those times. Happier times. 

They hadn’t even realised how far they’d walked until someone else came into view. For a moment, Bonny thought it looked like a person they’d befriended long ago. Lucjan Stroik. The Champion gave a little smile at the thought. What were the chances of that? It was one in eight million, at least. However, the Mightyena beside the man gave it all away. And, for a moment, Bonny felt frozen. Lucjan, their old childhood friend, had never seen them in this state. Uncaring for the thoughts of others, disheveled, and in a state of overworked distress. Guilt surged through them. Tis wasn’t how they wanted anyone to see them like this, much less someone they looked up to. 

As the Mightyena strode towards them, Bonny accepted it. Lucjan was going to see them at their worst, without a doubt. So Bonny did exactly what they shouldn’t have done. They pushed down that feeling of Emptiness once more, and painted their face with the smile they did every single day. It was difficult. More so than usual. A fire surged through their veins at the unwelcome sensation. It hurt more than just letting Lucjan see them in this state. Overworked, a complete mess, stressed more than they’d been in a long time. It wasn’t a pretty sight, to watch someone wither away.

“Such a pretty, pretty Pokémon…” Bonny cooed to the Mightyena, who had parked itself right before the Champion. They scratched behind its ears and whispered little words of admiration to the creature. It was no surprise that Lucjan followed suit. Bonny didn’t know what to say, at first. But they flashed Lucjan the sweetest smile they could conjure, and clasped their hands together. “It’s so wonderful to see you again!” Bonny said, with complete sincerity. They had always enjoyed their time spent with Lucjan. He taught them many things, even from the time they were children.

“I missed you a lot. I hope everything’s been treating you well. It’s so rare I get the time to talk to anyone anymore.” They sighed. Grabbing Lucjan’s hands suddenly, the Champion beamed. Bonny gave them a squeeze. It was just something they did. Bonny was a touchy person when it came to friends. They let people know that they were loved. Perhaps their sentiments wouldn’t be returned. Then again, they hardly ever were. But, at least, Lucjan probably wouldn’t be able to see through them. The eyes were the windows to the soul, people said. So Bonny kept those windows locked up tight, with bars made of innocence and locked made of naivety. It was so hard to find the key.

There were only two people who ever had. 

[vxsionary-blog]

August’s growl faded and the hound’s head rose beneath his hand which should have been indication enough, but Lucjan didn’t notice the pajama-clad champion immediately. It wasn’t until the Mightyena wiggled his way out from underneath the beach chair and stood, sand coating his belly, did Lucjan follow his pointed gaze. The blue jacket with the white polka dots stood out like a star against the beach. The long tangle of brown hair — Lucjan’s throat tightened and his thumb felt along the lip of the soda can. He hadn’t considered Bonny. They were supposed to be far east, holed up in their palace, weighted with responsibilities of the League. His surprise was tinged with resentment as he knew that Bonny was not the type to stayed holed up anywhere, but he hadn’t anticipated that he’d see Bonny here. It was something he hadn’t planned for. He didn’t want this.

There were many to whom Lucjan could lie without a single crack in his words. Extended family, former friends. Bonny was not one of these such individuals, and Lucjan hated the feeling of awkward vulnerability that they exposed in him. Lucjan usually enjoyed lies. He enjoyed making up his own reality and watching others accept it, and he would lord above them, knowing so many things that they didn’t. But he didn’t want to lie to Bonny. The very idea of deceiving them made him feel ill. When they were children, Lucjan had appointed himself to look over Bonny; that protective feeling still kept itself rooted in his gut, only now it filled him with raw panic. Bonny had always drunk in everything he’d told them, and Lucjan had adored it, adored guiding them and telling them everything that fascinated him.

And now he’d created something that he wouldn’t consider asking Bonny to understand. Radicalism was only considered so because it was so far removed from what societal norms convinced the common man was right. Lucjan had willingly amputated himself from a peaceful life, and it wasn’t fair for Bonny to have to grapple with his decision. He’d thought at length about the inevitability of his family learning, and Bonny too, and it made the most sense to widen the gap progressively. Then they could protest that he’d changed, that they didn’t know him anymore, and wouldn’t feel guilt for whatever it was he would leave in his wake.

His Mightyena certainly had no conflicted feelings about seeing Bonny. The Pokemon shook himself, his floppy ears perked, and then he took a few trotting steps towards the champion walking along the shore. Lucjan’s entire body was tense — the beach was so empty, and while it would be easy to disappear during the crowded daytime, he felt anchored here now. Of course the other option would be to call August back and flee up the sand, which frankly he craved to do, but the thought of Bonny watching his back go made a whistle catch in his throat.

He and Bonny had met since, and Lucjan had been evasive. He was busy, so busy, traveling and discovering the world. Of course he’d already discovered everything he wanted from the world, and now the problem came down to analyzing it and controlling it. But the point was he’d spoken with Bonny before and been dodgy; he had faith he could do it again. Warm greetings, small talk, quick farewell. It was a script, and Lucjan could push the inevitable one day further. He didn’t want Bonny to stop believing in him — the idea stung more than his family being appalled. But it was a sacrifice. It seemed he was starting to collect those like seashells.

Without a command to do otherwise, August loped over to Bonny, dropping to a trot within a few feet of them. His tail wagged once then twice as he crept closer and sniffed at the pant leg of Bonny’s sandy pajamas. Fifteen yards behind him Lucjan slowly eased to his feet, his toes curling in the sand as he tried to piece together some sort of greeting. It would likely be rude to say hello and goodbye in the same breath.

On the Horizon // Lucjan & Bonny

Although it was far past midnight, Bonny couldn’t sleep. This happened every once in a while. Usually, they were good about repressing any sort of distaste, but there was just something that wouldn’t sit right. There was an aching, massive Emptiness that sat inside their stomach, clawing away at them. This feeling wasn’t entirely unusual, no. But it was always unwelcome. Bonny had never been unhappy with themselves, or so they thought. But it was nights like this that made them question things. On nights like this, Bonny broke their one rule. Don’t think too much. Think too much, and the pieces fit together. And, once you think too much about something, there’s no going back. You can never see the world in the same way again.

That was why Bonny opted to remain oblivious to so many things. Their mind was open, and ready to accept anyone that came their way, but they never considered anything else. Innocent and unashamed, that’s how they chose to be. Bonny could be anything, should they choose. That’s what they’d been told throughout their childhood. Celeste had believed in them. Her last wish was for Bonny to go out and be something wonderful. So that’s what Bonny devoted their life to. But now, that Emptiness made them wonder. Now that they had everything, what more was there to life? Was the best part over? And so soon… Bonny sat up in bed, rubbing away the sleep that wasn’t there. 

Tossing both legs over the side of the bed, that Emptiness nearly made them lurch away. Bonny always knew it was there. The Emptiness followed them every day, standing in their shadow. Waiting to strike. Of course, it had never mattered much to them. Bonny could just push it down with a smile and everything would be okay. Without a doubt. Bonny Phillips, naive and young, was perfect. That’s what everyone expected, so that’s what they would be. Bonny stood, glancing out the window. The fresh air was more than appealing. Perhaps, Bonny thought, it would help them push down that emptiness once again and go on living.

Standing completely, Bonny really didn’t care that they were just in their pyjamas. Few people would be out this early in the morning, anyways. Tossing on that blue and white polka-dotted jacket they’d held onto for so many years, Bonny left their bedroom. The soft beginnings of sunlight peeked through the windows of the house as Bonny crept through. They didn’t want to disturb any of their companions, who lived here as well. Every once in a while, Bonny needed to be alone and think. They needed to overthink things. To realise they were unhappy. Just for a moment; for a few hours. Then everything would be fine again, and they would be happy. Just like always.

Bonny walked slowly, finding solace in the untouched air of morning. Tinged with the brined scent of the sea, Bonny felt drawn to it. They’d always loved the ocean. It was so vast, so unexplored. There were so many mysteries; so many things to be explored. It was fascinating to them. So Bonny felt a change of course necessary. Veering towards the ocean, Bonny loved to feel the sand against their skin. Little specks of ocean air and the smell of the sea was something they’d loved since childhood. Unfortunately, Bonny knew they couldn’t go out there. Not only did it stretch for miles, but Bonny could not swim.

Perhaps, they thought, the ocean was a lot like themselves.

Simply enjoying the feel of the air and the feel of the silence, Bonny walked along the shore. It felt nice, to just stand and think. There was no one to tell them it was wrong. Because the minute Bonny started to think too much, the world would lose its shine. And that was the one thing they truly feared the most. A passion for life was the only thing that kept the Emptiness at bay. So, they supposed, it was worth it to sacrifice a bit of knowledge. 

[vxsionary-blog]

On the Horizon // Lucjan & Bonny

It was past sunrise but still early, still cold. The breeze whipped across the Slateport beach and the umbrellas rattled. It was low tide; the receded waves had left a mosaic of seashells stretched out across the sand. He was watching a walking couple pick them up and clean them with their thumbs and tossing them in a bucket. Besides them, there were frequent joggers, sometimes with a Pokemon, and August would then tense and begin to snarl and Lucjan would push his snout towards the sand. But it was fairly empty, compared to yesterday afternoon, and the stretch of ocean beneath the cloudy grey sky was almost haunting. It seemed endless. Lucjan licked his lips. He hadn’t even gone near the water and he could taste the salt. He hated coming to the beach, because afterwards his hair was all sandy and his skin tasted like salt.

He was sitting on a beach chair, upright and slouched forward with his bare toes digging into the cold sand. The wind kept blowing the hood from his head but otherwise his jacket was zipped up to the top. He held a nearly-empty soda pop by the tips of his fingers and he shook it absently. Lucjan didn’t like mornings. Before he left home, he couldn’t remember the last time he’d seen a sunrise. But traveling upset his schedule, and he’d found himself awake in bed with a pit in his stomach and had felt moved to wander through the sleepy city. Everything was still closed, or by now, just opening. It was mystifying to see how everyone operated so closely on the principle of time. They were like wind-up dolls and he was a ghost.

August shifted under the chair and Lucjan could hear him give the squeaky whine of a yawn. The Mightyena still smelled rank from running through the broken waves. Normally Lucjan would only have his Numel out and accompanying him, but the small Pokemon was dense and had a tendency to wander off and was not a good brooding companion. He was Lucjan’s little seed of excitement who had not quite yet come to fruition. He’d had the idea to train him while he was here against the kids who ran around the Slateport beach, which with regards to the “pros” list was better experience than wild Pokemon, but firmly on the “cons” list was the embarrassment of battling children in public and potentially losing. Regardless, it was a good feeling to be able to sit with him out. Years ago it’d just been him and his Mightyena and his Lairon ducking past “No Trespassing” signs. How everything had grown.

There were ups and downs. Most of the time the world felt small to him. He’d look at it on a map, or in diagram, or write about it thoroughly, and it all seemed so meager, so capable of being controlled. And then there were times when he’d sit alone and it felt like it was going to swallow him if he didn’t move fast enough. The worst part about playing games inside his head was that he never won. Nothing was chasing him. The world was moving as it always did. And yet that paranoia was always nipping at his heels. Lucjan craved the isolation — it helped him think better. But then sometimes it weighted him and he felt trapped within the herd, small.

Which wasn’t true. Even seeing how far he’d come was a high enough pedestal to stand on.

Along the dark sand came a teenage girl jogging with her portly Vulpix bounding after her. Immediately August’s head raised and Lucjan snorted, reaching over with his free hand and running it backwards up the Mightyena’s thick scruff. The ocean was lit with the sun’s reflection and a massive ship was a silhouette out in the sea. The horizons were long, but mankind had tamed them many times before.

[vxsionary-blog]

You Again // Lucjan & Teris

Paranoia had kept him far from Mauville. The thought that he would be seen by his father, or anyone — and they would immediately recognize him as the little blond boy who’d accompanied his father to work ten years ago. 

But — it was undeniable that the city was so huge, and ripe. It was the pinnacle of human creation. It had fascinated Lucjan as a child, even when he’d gotten lost within the maze of its shops. It was an odd feeling to be so close to home again. He hadn’t felt the desire to visit Verdanturf in a long time; in fact, the idea repulsed him, and he constantly found ways to brush off his family’s attempts at contact. Visiting home now just made him bitter. It was far too different, and he knew that he was the one who had changed, and it was not possible for any of them to follow. It was just another stroke on his list of self-sacrifices. They would learn eventually.

Mauville tasted like home just as much as Verdanturf. Being here was bittersweet and Lucjan felt an odd feeling of pride stirring within him as he walked along one of the city’s sides. Nothing had changed. The shops, the people, and the Pokemon seemed as if they were all the same as they had been since he last visited many years ago. They were background noise, interchangeable with one another. People would look at him for a moment and then away and they didn’t even know. They were so swept up in their own menial lives. There was something so delicious about everything being a secret. A year from now, maybe years — he hoped less — everyone would know him. But for now he was just a face, and it made him smug to know that no one knew who they were seeing.

The rejuvenation of Team Magma was a swelling tide, but Lucjan was ever impatient. He’d didn’t necessarily feel closer to his vision — if anything, it felt all the more distant, and he hungered for progress. The most irritating obstacle had been the existence of a Team Aqua recreation. Which had been irritating enough it itself, that anyone could possibly consider Team Aqua’s intentions and decide that they were solid enough to attempt twice — but had that little club been led by someone of a similar mind, dismantling them perhaps would have been fun. But they weren’t. They definitely were not. There was not a single meeting between them that Lucjan did not feel the urge to throttle Teris with his own bandana. And that’s also what made him so insufferable, that Teris was just so blunt and cavalier that it pulled the rug out from underneath him. Everything he did was so — not what Lucjan expected.

But it seemed that the best strategy was to just let Teris dismantle himself. Perhaps it was his abysmal leadership skills or perhaps he was just apathetic, but Lucjan hadn’t seen him in months — which was unusual, as the Magma leader had even gone poking his nose around Lilycove to see what was happening with Teris. Lucjan wasn’t going to go throw himself and unnecessary energy into hypotheses about what Teris was doing, and he had slowly been enjoying the idea that perhaps the man was just gone for good. It didn’t particularly matter where he’d gone, as long as he wasn’t springing up around Hoenn.

Thus all in all, Lucjan was in a rather pleasant mood. He was walking through the city with one hand tightly clutching the strap of his messenger bag, his gaze skirting over the shop fronts. He paused momentarily in front of the entrance to the food court and peered inside. Crowded. Pokemon released, brawling on the floor. When he was a kid, getting to battle for food seemed thrilling; now it just seemed like an annoying hassle, and there was nothing less Lucjan would rather do than fight a teenager over a sandwich. But he drank in eavesdropping. There was no more enjoyable way to get to know a city or its people. Lucjan gingerly sat himself down on one of the seats nearest to the door and slid his bag onto his lap. He unzipped it, rifling through and withdrawing his camera. Lucjan’s attention dropped and he pinched his tongue between his teeth as he twisted on the camera’s lens. Pity that there was not a radical option to pay more and be allowed to eat in peace.

[vxsionary-blog]

[ Woo, so thrilled to be part of ADF! Thank you to everyone who sent me a welcome message and I’m super excited to meet/roleplay with you all!! (◕ヮ◕) ]