vvvaninfinity

[vvvaninfinity]

ayaw ko na ng ganitong feeling, hays, sana mawala na 'tong bigat

[vvvaninfinity]

Better?

Maybe for a day.

the fuck am I talking about

BETTER

I’m getting better everyday.

I’m still weak.

But I know I have to be strong for us.

[vvvaninfinity]

Feel.

To be honest, I feel like you don't care about me anymore. At least, that is what the situation is making me feel.

I'm overthinking.

Overthinking kills.

I am dead inside.

I miss you so much.

So fucking much.

I need you.

At times, I don't want to need you.

I don't even know if you still want me. That is what the situation is making me feel.

I'm overthinking.

Overthinking kills.

I am dead inside.

I am trying to be strong for myself. Didn't know it would be this hard.

I want to tell you many things.

But you don't want to hear them.

I miss you needing me. But that's wrong, isn't it?

We shouldn't be needing anyone.

We should be needing our own self.

I feel that you don't miss me anymore, or that you don't look forward to being with me anymore.

I hate that feeling. That is what the situation is making me feel.

I'm overthinking.

Overthinking kills.

I am dead inside.

Wait.

Maybe I am not dead inside.

If I was, I won't be feeling all this loneliness, right?

I hate what the situation is making me feel.

[vvvaninfinity]

So, I’m rewatching AAA (surprise!), and Rio’s face when Lilia shows the girls her vampire scar has confirmed that Rio has a crush on Lilia. I’m sorry. I don’t make the rules.

[vvvaninfinity]

AGATHA ALL ALONG  1.08 Follow Me My Friend / To Glory at the End

[vvvaninfinity]

BETTER

I’m getting better everyday.

I’m still weak.

But I know I have to be strong for us.

[vvvaninfinity]

Another day.

Another day, another shenanigans, of course.

Today has been heavy.

Panic attacks coming out of nowhere because of my overthinking.

Overthinking kills.

I am dead inside.

I still don't know how to handle everything that's been going on in my life.

If there's anything that keeps me going, it's her.

She.

I have to be strong for her. I have to be the superhero she never asked for.

Not gonna lie, I am extremely fragile and weak right now. But now that I have fully understood and accepted everything. I just want to be there for her and to help her get through everything.

Damn, the things I would do for her.

[vvvaninfinity]

You.

Things have been so rough to you over the past weeks. 

You were hurt, betrayed, and disrespected. You are still in pain. 

Everything that has happened brought out the worst in you. You fell back into old ways and went into self destruction. The worst parts that you tried so fucking hard to change and leave all those years ago. 

You hated them for most part of the days. But you hated yourself more. You hated the fact that you did not allow myself to heal. You hated the fact that you were too quick to forgive because you were more afraid of losing them than losing yourself. In the process, you completely lost yourself. You could not recognize yourself anymore. You never thought that they were the person who will again bring out the worst in you. You were over that. You were done will all your bad habits. 

How could they do that to you?

You were never perfect. You had your flaws. But they didn't have the right to hurt you like that. You did not fucking deserve that. 

Then came overthinking as response to your depression.

Overthinking kills. 

You are dead inside. 

You tried so many fucking things to distract yourself. 

Your mistake was distracting yourself from the pain and focused on them. That is your biggest mistake. Biggest fucking mistake. 

You should have not forgiven them too quickly. 

As days passed by, you were getting worse. 

Most days, you wanted to kill yourself just to be done with everything. 

You were TRYING HARD to show them that you deserve their love. 

You were TRYING SO FUCKING HARD. 

You were holding on to moments rather than holding on to yourself.

You thought, you would survive by doing those shit. 

You decided on things quickly without thinking twice because you didn't want to live in being uncertain.

Look where the fuck that got you.

Did something change? The hell no, things got fucking worse and you made that happen. 

You were crying everyday, not eating properly and relied on pills just so you could sleep.

Did anything make you feel better? 

Big fat NO.

You put yourself in a fucking tight position and now you're drowning. 

Who's coming to save you? 

No one.

You have to save yourself. 

They have their own lives to live and you should not be self-fucking-centered.

The only thing you probably did right was you understood them.

You understood what they were going through because you have been there. 

The way you supported them, was wrong. 

How could you support them if you could not even support yourself? Think about that for a fucking minute.

It's like, how can you give love if you don't have love to give? 

Each day that passes has made you weaker, more vulnerable, more stupid. 

Until exactly a month. 

Now your heart has become harder. 

You finally, FINALLY, fucking knew that not everything should be rushed.

Healing takes time. 

You knew that, you just didn't want to accept it because you allowed your world to revolve around them. 

No one is coming to save you but yourself. You have to put yourself first this time. If they truly love you, they will come back. They have their own ways to show that and you have to remember that you can't control everything. 

It's okay to get mad and feel everything, what's important is you move on and continue to live your life. 

People will come and go. 

Those who truly love you will stay and accept you for who you are. 

Love yourself. At the end of the day, you've only got yourself.

As for them, you've got to let them live their life, too. 

Everything will fall into pieces. 

[vvvaninfinity]

Agatha when the door to the road™️ appeared knowing damn well she made the whole thing up:

[vvvaninfinity]

Agatha Harkness:

also agatha harkness:

[vvvaninfinity]

#lgbtqia+ confirmed!

[vvvaninfinity]

[vvvaninfinity]

I want you to stop pursuing me. I want you to stop making my life hell. And when I die, a long, long, long, long, long time from now, I don't wanna see your face.

[vvvaninfinity]

I still can’t get over the fact that Aubrey Plaza got Kathryn Hahn pregnant on a Disney Plus show. This year has been wild.

[vvvaninfinity]

re-visiting my own space here and just seeing how toxic and immature I was all those years ago

CRINGE

[vvvaninfinity]

Kristina Tonteri-Young as Sister Beatrice 
in WARRIOR NUN (2020—)

[vvvaninfinity]

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