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English added by me :)

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Could really use more media where wives viciously protect their husbands

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it has been like at least eight years and sometimes I still think to myself, when I am tired, “but I am le tired… well then take a nap! AND THEN FIRE ZE MISSILES” even though in retrospect that is like one of the most embarrassingly unfunny videos to ever come out of the internet 

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You should be able to say “don’t touch me” to anyone ever in any context and not have it be considered in the realm of surprising or insulting imho if we ever needed to normalize something it’s this

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thinking abt that time in one of my art classes when the prof put up a silhouette of L from death note and said “this is not an effective design bc you can’t tell who this character is from this shape” 

and everyone in the class went like “yes we can that’s L from death note”

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My two yr old is looking through a book about prehistoric art and she saw a picture of those cave painting of hands and she held up her own and said "hand!" And I gotta be honest. That hit

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get it twisted.

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basically you brown some onions and then throw in some garlic and ginger but only if ur sexy

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I think this is my favourite spell I’ve ever written. I’m not sorry.

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nimble, a border collie-papillon mix, wins the 12” class in the 2024 masters agility championship. the first time a mixed breed has won at westminster ever.

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I was gonna make a joke about how I say “I need to go the circus again” the way people used to say they need to go to the sea to balance their humors. But I realized the circus balances humors too

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tiny death roll

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People who have a high cold tolerance are the most oppressed people in the world. I have to sit in a room with radiators AND space heaters on because some people I work with have the audacity to feel cold in winter (losers alert) and let's be real, they could just layer up if they're cold but I can't keep taking layers off lest it becomes an HR issue. They should let me work shirtless. I've been here long enough.

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nintendo has the opportunity to do the funniest thing ever