voidened

[voidened]

don’t go

edit nov 2022: THIS IS INCREDIBLY OLD!! i wrote this when i was like 15... its one of the first fanfics i ever actually finished and my writing style is completely different now. im only keeping this up so i can see how ive changed and improved!

summary: being close with an idol , having a crush on them, and having separation issues doesn’t mix well

pairing: huang renjun x reader

genre: fluff, angst

word count: 1024

current time: 1:15 pm

a/n: i wrote this during school yesterday and was somewhat happy with it so i decided to post it, this is my first time ever uploading a work of mine to the internet. i read over it like 4 times kfndkd. i hope it’s decent :)

You flinch from your sleeping state when someone taps you on the shoulder. You rub your eyes and glance up at who’s standing next to the bed. A sleepy smile crawls across your face as you realize who it is. It’s Renjun, who’s staying over for the night.

“Hi Renjunnie. Can’t sleep?” you whisper. He smiles down at you.

“Yeah I guess. Sorry to wake you Y/n.”

“It’s okay.” you mumble before grabbing onto his sleeve and pulling on him.

“What’re you doing?” he asks.

“I wanna cuddle.”

Renjun loosens your grip on him and takes a step back. “I have something to tell you first.” he says.

You sit up a little and look at him more directly. “Alright.” you say, raising an eyebrow. You feel a lot more awake now.

“We’re gonna be going on tour soon.” he tells you, not meeting your eyes. Your heart immediately drops. You don’t want him to leave you again.

You get up and walk over to Renjun, wrapping him in a tight hug. He sighs and rubs your back. After a moment you start waddling back to the bed, Renjun still in your arms. Renjun lets out a soft laugh as you plop down backwards on the bed, him on top of you.

Renjun hovers above you, your faces only inches apart. “How long will you be gone?” you ask after a while of admiring his features.

Renjun hesitates before answering. “More than a couple months.”

You immediately frown. “That’s way too long.”

Renjun gives you a small smile. “You say that about any amount of time away from me.”

“Is that bad? You’re one of my best friends.”

“No, but you need to get used to the fact that we can’t spend as much time together as we did a few years ago. It’s just gonna get worse as time goes on Y/n.” he says slowly and softly. He wasn’t just trying to convince you, he was also trying to convince himself.

You stare at him for a few seconds before pushing him off of you. “You never said no to cuddling with me. Get to it.” you teased, changing the topic.

Renjun jokingly scoffs and sighs before going to the other side of the bed, slipping under the covers. You giggle happily and get under the covers too. You flip onto your side and glance back at Renjun, signaling to him that you wanted to spoon. He scoots closer, pressing himself into your back. He puts an arm over your waist, letting you grab his hand. You intertwine your fingers with his and give his hand a squeeze. He squeezes your hand back and you smile, closing your eyes.

You try to fall back asleep, but your mind is racing with thoughts of Renjun leaving. You’re obviously head over heels for him. You want to always be by his side.

You start to overthink and before long, tears are trailing down your face. A sniffle escapes you, and Renjun immediately knows that you’re crying. He props himself up on his elbow, his other arm still occupied by you.

“Y/n?” he calls softly. You don’t move, so Renjun grabs your shoulder to turn you more toward him. He can’t see your face that well in the darkness, and he’s glad. He doesn’t want to see you cry.

Another sniffle echoes through the room and Renjun’s heart nearly breaks. He doesn’t want to leave you, but he has to.

His gaze meets your glossy eyes. He tries to free his hand from yours to wipe away your tears, but you hold on tightly. A couple moments pass of you and him just staring at each other. holding hands, listening to your quiet sobs. You feel the urge to lean closer to his face, and your lips eventually meet his. Renjun closes his eyes and kisses you back. You immediately stop crying and can’t help but slightly smile against his lips.

Renjun pulls away and smiles shyly. “I would’ve kissed you ages ago if I knew that it would calm you down that quickly.” he teases. You turn over to properly face him and playfully push him. He pushes you back and before you know it, you’re tangled up together, him tickling you above you. You desperately try to push him off of you, laughing and begging him to stop. He finally stops and looks down at you with a slightly sultry gaze. He leans down and your lips meet again in a short and gentle kiss.

You pull away this time and giggle nervously, realizing what was happening. Renjun admires your smiley face the best he can in the darkness of your room.

“I love you.” he suddenly says, lost in your glimmering eyes. He’d been holding back how he felt for so long and it felt so good to say those words. Your mouth slightly gapes open in surprise.

I always thought I’d be the first and only one to say that.” you admit.

“I’m good at hiding my feelings aren’t I?” he jokes sadly. You place a hand on the side of his face, comforting him.

“Yes you are. I really thought that you’d never think of me the same way. I’m glad that’s not true.” you say sweetly before placing a kiss on his cheek. Renjun wraps his arms around you, pulling you against him. You bury your face in the crook of his neck, enjoying his familiar scent.. This night is a dream come true.

You were so lost in the moment that you completely forgot that your newfound love would be leaving you again very soon, leaving you hurting again.