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"We fall in love hoping we won't find in another what we know is in ourselves, all the cowardice, weakness, laziness, dishonesty, compromise and stupidity. We throw a cordon of love around the chosen one and decide that everything within it will somehow be free of our faults. We locate inside another a perfection that eludes us within ourselves, and through our union with the beloved, hope to maintain (against the evidence of all self knowledge) a precarious faith in our species."

Essays in love , Alain De Botton

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—longing for love

what i could never confess without some bravado by emily palermo // nickie zimov // homosexuality by frank o’hara // normal people (2020) // the unabridged journal by sylvia plath // holly warburton

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— Carol Rifka Brunt in Tell The Wolves I'm Home

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richard siken quotes that make me cry

•if you don’t believe in god, then who are you talking to?

•i hope it’s love. i’m trying really hard to make it love.

•we left footprints in the slush of ourselves, getting out of there.

•your body told me in a dream it’s never been afraid of anything.

•he’s easy to desire since there’s not much to him.

•why live a life? well, why are you asking?

•people like to think war means something.

•even when i look away i am still looking.

•he didn’t know how to say it. years later he still didn’t know how to say it, and she was gone.

•i clawed my way into the light but the light is just as scary. i’d rather quit. i’d rather be sad.

•someone has to leave first. this is a very old story. there is no other version of this story.

•tell me how all this, and love too, will ruin us.

•i swallow your heart and it crawls right out of my mouth.

•i couldn’t get the boy to kill me, but i wore his jacket for the longest time.

•tell me you love this, tell me you’re not miserable.

•i want to tell you this story without having to be in it.

•he takes you in his arms and pushes your flesh around to see if you could ever be ugly to him.

•you wanted to be in love and he happened to get in the way.

•i don’t really blame you for being dead but you can’t have your sweater back.

•people get hurt here. people fall down and stay down and i don’t like the way the song goes.

•someone is digging your grave right now.

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absolutely obsessed with this old Slovenian coin with an olm on it. just look at it. no need to make more coins, we've already peaked with this good boy over here

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Rei Kurahashi "Princess"

くらはしれい「おひめさま」

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des résidus de l’aure,

pastels

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"Please don't ask me" I said. "I am in love that is all I know. and it is the most wonderful feeling in the world." (…) I said I was in love. and I am. I think I have always loved, and am loving and will love forever. Who? I do not know. A shadow, a fancy. smoke, a vision. no tangible person yet, but someone. (…) Had I been a man, I would have been an eternal lover. Being a woman, what am I? The future will tell. Only, I am in love, because my heart is awake to every vibration, to every touch or nature and humanity. I feel, always, from day to day, sorrow and joy. I live and dream love.

The Early Diary of Anaïs Nin, 1920-1923

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If Beale Street Could Talk, James Baldwin

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       BOOK STARTERS VOL.38        CAT’S EYE       MARGARET ATWOOD

❛ Love blurs your vision; but after it recedes, you can see more clearly than ever. ❜

❛ This is the kind of thing you see if you sit in the darkness with open eyes. ❜

❛ I have done something wrong, something so huge I can’t even see it, something that’s drowning me. ❜

❛ Whatever is happening to me is my own fault. ❜

❛ Hatred is easier. Hatred is clear, metallic, one-handed, unwavering; unlike love. ❜

❛ Potential has a shelf life. ❜

❛ Don’t move. Stay like that, let me have that. ❜

❛ I have come to the edge, of the land. I could get pushed over. ❜

❛ Never pray for justice, because you might get some. ❜

❛ It disturbs me to learn I have hurt someone unintentionally. I want all my hurts to be intentional. ❜

❛ We have been shark to one another, but also lifeboat. That counts for something. ❜

❛ This is what I miss, not something that’s gone, but something that will never happen. ❜

❛ I am not good. I know too much to be good. I know myself. I know myself to be vengeful, greedy, secretive and sly. ❜

❛ You are amazing. Amazing and agonising and almost lethal. ❜

❛ In my dreams of this city I am always lost. ❜

❛ I don’t know where these feelings have come from, I don’t know what I’ve done. ❜

❛ I am not the centre of your story, you are.  ❜

❛ I’m mad because you’re an asshole. ❜

❛ It’s enormously pleasing to me, walking away. It’s like being able to make people appear and vanish, at will. ❜

❛ There is never only one of anyone. ❜

❛ I can’t do this without feeling I’m acting. ❜

❛ I am prepared for almost anything; except absence, except silence. ❜

❛ I’m losing my appetite for strangers. ❜

❛ You wear your cravings on the outside, like the suckers on a squid. You want it all. ❜

❛ Knowing too much about other people weakens you. You are forced to understand their reasons for doing things. ❜

❛ I have lost confidence: perhaps all I will ever be is what I am now. ❜

❛ Echoes of light, shining out of the midst of nothing. It’s old light, and there’s not much of it. But it’s enough to see by. ❜

❛ Whoever cares the most will lose. ❜

❛ Young women need unfairness, it’s one of their few defences.  ❜

❛ Time has gone on without you. ❜

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      BOOK STARTERS VOL.27     PHANTOM OF THE OPERA     GASTON LEROUX

❛ If I am to be saved it is because your love redeems me. ❜

❛ All I wanted was to be loved for myself. ❜

❛ I have tasted all the happiness the world can offer. ❜

❛ Shall we pity him? Shall we curse him? ❜

❛ You have a heart that can hold the entire empire of the world. ❜

❛ Look, I am not laughing now, crying, crying for you. ❜

❛ Tonight I gave you my soul, and I am dead. ❜

❛ You are afraid of me! And yet I am not really wicked. Love me and you shall see! ❜

❛ Are people so unhappy when they love? — Yes, when they love and are not sure of being loved. ❜

❛ Your soul is a beautiful thing. No emperor received so fair a gift. The angels wept tonight. ❜

❛ Blood!…Blood!… That’s a good thing! ❜

❛ Now I want to live like everybody else. I want to have a life like everybody else. ❜

❛ You will be the happiest of women. And we will sing, all by ourselves, till we swoon away with delight. ❜

❛ I should be as gentle as a lamb; and you could do anything with me that you pleased. ❜

❛ I am going to die of love, I am dying of love. That’s how it is. I loved you so. I still love you so. ❜

❛ I am dying of love for her, I tell you! If only you knew how beautiful she was when she let me kiss her. ❜

❛ He fills me with horror but I do not hate him. How can I hate him? ❜

❛ Holy angel, in Heaven blessed, my spirit longs with thee to rest. ❜

❛ Nothing is colder or more dead than my heart. ❜

❛ I had loved an angel and now I despise a woman. ❜

❛ Our lives are one masked ball. ❜

❛ Why do you condemn a man whom you have never met, whom no one knows and about whom even you yourself know nothing? ❜

❛ He would commit murder for me. ❜

❛ If I don’t save her from the hands of that humbug, she is lost. But I shall save her. ❜

❛ We will go from here together or die together. ❜

❛ Your fear, your terror, all of that is just love and love of the most exquisite kind, the kind which people do not admit even to themselves. The kind that gives you a thrill, when you think of it. ❜

❛ Destiny has chained you to me forever. ❜

❛ You must never ask me that. ❜

❛ Are you afraid that you will change your mind? ❜

❛ You must come and fetch me in my dressing room at midnight exactly. ❜

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BOOK STARTERS VOL.20     ONE HUNDRED YEARS OF SOLITUDE     GABRIEL GARCÍ­A MÁRQUEZ

❛ It’s enough for me to be sure that you and I exist at this moment. ❜

❛ There is always something left to love. ❜

❛ A person doesn’t die when he should but when he can. ❜

❛ Things have a life of their own. It’s simply a matter of waking up their souls. ❜

❛ Tell me something: why are you fighting? ❜

❛ I’ve come to realise only just now that I’m fighting because of pride. ❜

❛ One minute of reconciliation is worth more than a whole life of friendship. ❜

❛ It’s better than not knowing why you’re fighting. Or fighting, like you, for something that doesn’t have any meaning for anyone. ❜

❛ Holy Mother of God! ❜

❛ A person does not belong to a place until there is someone dead under the ground. ❜

❛ I was born a son of a bitch and I’m going to die a son of a bitch. ❜

❛ Bad luck doesn’t have any chinks in it. ❜

❛ I plead youth as a mitigating circumstance. ❜

❛ Get those bad thoughts out of your head. You’re going to be happy. ❜

❛ Children inherit their parents’ madness. ❜

❛ I’ll turn to ashes in here but I won’t give this miserable town the pleasure of seeing me weep. ❜

❛ You would be good in a war. Where you put your eye, you put your bullet. ❜

❛ Men demand much more than you think. ❜

❛ Even the craziest and most persistent love is just a temporary truth. ❜

❛ If we’re alone you can whisper in my ear any crap you can think of. ❜

❛ You have taken this horrible game very seriously and you have done well because you are doing your duty. ❜

❛ We have the right to pull down your pants and give you a whipping at the first sign of disrespect. ❜

❛ What worries me is not your shooting me, because after all, for people like us it’s a natural death. ❜

❛ What worries me is that you’ve ended up as bad as they are. ❜

❛ It is characteristic of men to deny hunger once their appetites are satisfied. ❜

❛ Dying is much more difficult than one imagines. ❜

❛ If you have to go crazy, please go crazy all by yourself! ❜

❛ We have still not had a death. ❜

❛ How awful, the way time passes. ❜

❛ You may be in command of your war, but I’m in command of my house. ❜

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        BOOK STARTERS VOL.18     AFTER DARK     HARUKI MURAKAMI

❛ In this world, there are things you can only do alone. ❜

❛ What seems like a reasonable distance to one person might feel too far to somebody else. ❜

❛ If you really want to know something, you have to be willing to pay the price. ❜

❛ Why should you be interested in me? ❜

❛ I have been told I’ve got a darkish personality. A few times. ❜

❛ It’s not as if our lives are divided simply into light and dark. There’s shadowy middle ground. ❜

❛ I’ll write to you. A super-long letter, like in an old-fashioned novel. ❜

❛ The spotlight doesn’t suit me. I’m more of a side dish. ❜

❛ The ground we stand on looks solid enough, but if something happens it can drop right out from under you.  ❜

❛ So once you’re dead there’s just nothing? ❜

❛ If only I could fall sound asleep and wake up in my old reality. ❜

❛ Is action merely the incidental product of thought, or is thought the consequential product of action? ❜

❛ Nobody can shake off their own shadow. ❜

❛ The silence is so deep it hurts. ❜

❛ I may not look it, but I can be a very patient guy. ❜

❛ Killing time is one of my specialities. ❜

❛ You can’t fight it. ❜

❛ Tell me something,—do you believe in reincarnation? ❜

❛ I can’t understand nothingness. I can’t understand it and I can’t imagine it. ❜

❛ I can hardly breathe, and my whole body wants to shrink into a corner.  ❜

❛ I do have a few things wrong with me, but those are strictly problems I keep inside. ❜

❛ I can’t take it any more, I can’t go on any more. ❜

❛ You don’t really have it together. ❜

❛ Is it against the law for me to know it? ❜

❛ I keep having the same dream. ❜

❛ Are you asking because you really want an answer? ❜

❛ I hate this! I don’t want to be changed this way! ❜

❛ No contradictions, no irony. They do everything according to numerical formulas. ❜

❛ Want to hear the rest? If you’re not interested, I can stop. ❜

❛ If I didn’t have these memories inside me, I would’ve snapped a long time ago. I would’ve curled up in a ditch somewhere and died. ❜

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My girlhood, I wont try to call you back. You've been a burden and a hindrance.

Marina Tsvetayeva, From Girlhood, selected poems

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“For years I wanted to be older, and now I am.”

— Margaret Atwood, Cat’s Eye

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“Knowing too much about other people puts you in their power, they have a claim on you, you are forced to understand their reasons for doing things and then you are weakened.”

— Cat’s Eye, Margaret Atwood

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“Her bad heart floats in her body like an eye, an evil eye, it sees me.”

— Cat’s Eye, Margaret Atwood