vivificantem

[vivificantem]

You said I have nothing. You are wrong. I have love, I have hope, and I have faith. These things are not weaknesses. They make me what I am.  An exorcist.

Independent, private, and selective fandomless original character with original lore inspired and influenced by William Peter Blatty’s 1971 novel The Exorcist and its adaptations. ( As told by Lark, she/her, 26 )

[vivificantem]

(guy experiencing the consequences of his actions) yeah i don’t know why these things keep happening to me i must be cursed or something

[vivificantem]

𝑳𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒏 𝒕𝒐 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒎, 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒄𝒉𝒊𝒍𝒅𝒓𝒆𝒏 𝒐𝒇 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒏𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕. 𝑾𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒎𝒖𝒔𝒊𝒄 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒚 𝒎𝒂𝒌𝒆!

[vivificantem]

 why do you hurt

because you have made mistakes you cannot swallow

 mistakes come back to you like echoes in an empty cave. you have been trying since you started but does trying count? is trying good enough? every night it visits you, the pain that you have caused with your clumsy hands and venom-tongue. life careens onward, onward, with the moon hung in the sky and the sun the day after, but you walk backwards on this path so you can keep sight of what you did. the destruction still feels fresh. it still feels like fire, where you burned them. fire is supposed to be warm. it burned them, and it will swallow you. blow out the candle. let it rest. some things are better left behind in the dark.

[vivificantem]

The fact that Kit Harington is playing the Creature and not Victor in the Mary Shelley biopic is perhaps the most devastating news I could have received this morning

[vivificantem]

*me reaping* i know i for sure did not sow this much no way all this was me

[vivificantem]

It was a shipwreck, and me thrown on the coastline of humankind, and finding it not altogether human, and rarely kind.

Jeanette Winterson, from Why Be Happy When You Could Be Normal?

[vivificantem]

 Victor​

[vivificantem]

[vivificantem]

vicemirror​:

𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐓 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐄𝐑.  /  @vivificantem​.

“ come now. it cannot be as bad as you say. ”

 Dark, weary eyes watch Jekyll, before the young man shakes his head, ❝ Quite the contrary, Doctor. The direness of the situation cannot be understated. ❞ After weeks of collecting information, of feeling the presence of the wretch at every turn, he has little energy to say much else other than his motivations for being here.

❝ You’re one of the top experts in your field, that was reason enough for me to come to you for aid.❞

[vivificantem]

How Does Your Muse Carry Emotion?

Bold what applies to your character.

𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐈𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐒: being unable to stop smiling.  laughter.  bear hugs.  happy tears.  waving arms around.  dancing.  contently sighing.  eyes twinkling.  laughter lines.  childlike playfulness.  skipping.  talking more.  affection.  cracking more jokes than usual. gesturing more when talking.  higher pitched voice.  squealing.  jumping around.  clapping.

𝐒𝐀𝐃𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐒: tearing up.  self-hugging.  one-arm cross.  an aching chest.  scratchy throat.  a runny nose.  turning away.  deep breaths.  quivery smiles.  crying.  infantile sobbing. hands gripping each other or an object.  covering mouth.  puffy eyes.  eyes appear red.  voice breaking.   a distant or empty stare.  monotone voice.  asking for comfort.  faking a smile.  crumbling.  shaking.  whimpering.  depression.  abusing an unhealthy habit.  withdrawing from others. big teary eyes.  doing something even if it could hurt them.

𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐑: furrowed brows.  baring teeth. passive-aggressive comments.  avoiding eye contact.  sarcasm.  headache.  sore muscles.  hiding clenched fists.  irritability. jumping to conclusions.  raising voice.  going silent.  demanding immediate action.  keeping it all in until exploding. body tensing.  making risky decisions.  middle finger.

𝐅𝐄𝐀𝐑: wanting to flee or hide.  what-ifs. images of what-could-be flashing in mind. uncontrollable trembling.  rapid breathing.  screaming.  a skewed sense of time.  irritability.  keeping silent.  denying fear.  turning away from the cause. pretending to be brave.  nail-biting. lip-biting.  scratching skin.  a joking tone but a voice that cracks.  fainting.  insomnia.  panic attacks.  exhaustion.  substance abuse. tics.  rushing adrenaline.  face draining of color.  hair lifting on the back of the neck.  feeling rooted to the spot.  making body as small as possible.  staring but not seeing. crying.  a shrill voice.  whispering.  gripping something or someone.  stuttering.  flinching at noises.  pleading.

𝐄𝐗𝐇𝐀𝐔𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍: constantly yawning.  blurring words together.  dark circles or lines under eyes.  mood swings.  hallucinations.  calling people by the wrong name.  dizziness.  denying they’re tired.  slow blinking.  trouble concentrating.  stumbling. leaning on a doorframe for support.  sluggish movements.  falling asleep someplace that isn’t a bed.  becoming irritated by the smallest things.  “i’m awake, i’m fine.”  shaking so bad they spill their drink.  falling asleep in their clothes.  laying their head on the table because they’re so tired.  passing out.

tagged by : @viagothedandy​ ( thank you dear! ) tagging : steal it

[vivificantem]

Adaptation (2002)

[vivificantem]

Pablo Neruda, tonight I can write the saddest lines

[vivificantem]

Oh my God the queen died on my birthday 

[vivificantem]

aleximedicus​:

after nearly half a decade teaching his anatomical courses, lewis was accustomed to the look of exhaustion that haunted many young student’s faces. whether they had been up until dawn bent over their reading or, more likely, up until dawn bent over their full tankards, nearly all of the men who filled the anatomical theatre bore the marks of little sleep. by now, lewis had come to accept it as a matter of course; as long as they kept themselves from nodding off in the front row, he took little note.

the foreign newcomer, however, stood out even amongst the sea of weary faces. the other men looked tired, certainly, and perhaps a little bored, but this poor fellow — frankenstein, if lewis recalled correctly — looked downright ill with sleep deprivation. it was enough to catch lewis’ eye more than once. he had made a mental note to speak to the young man after the lecture, but to his surprise, the young man himself had beaten him to it: before lewis could open his mouth to make any comment on his state of exhaustion, the man had insisted upon joining him for a private discussion. 

lewis, naturally, had agreed. exhausted or not, the young fellow clearly had a keener interest in the finer points of anatomy than most of the regular students, and that was an interest that lewis was more than happy to indulge. for a short time, the foreigner seemed content with asking only minimal questions and letting lewis give his rambling answers as he saw fit — but then came the rather more delicate question, which prompted lewis to fall silent for a moment. pressing his lips together, the surgeon flexed his hands on the edge of the desk against which he’d been leaning. 

after a short pause, he finally replied, “ well, mr. frankenstein, i shall make no pretences: any surgeon or anatomist in london is obliged to rely upon the illegal supply of cadavers. of late, we have engaged… ” he paused, frowned, flexed his hands again, and tilted his head slightly. “ … well, i do not know whether you have a word for it, in your country. here, we call them resurrection men. ”

Resurrection men. Victor allowed the term to settle in his mind, all the while forcing himself not to stiffen at their irony.  And still, their services were crucial- grave issue of supply aside, Victor did not have the luxury of time he had enjoyed in Ingolstadt, not when he’d been forced to comply with such a specific request. Despite his better judgement, an urgency gripped the young man, as though the eyes of the Wretch were boring down upon the back of his neck, pressing him to inquire further.  

 ❝ And these- resurrection men... they are able to acquire cadavers on your behalf?  ❞  He made a point to shift his weight uncomfortably, though this unfortunate truth distressed him to some degree. ❝ Their illegality... am I to assume they’re sourced from places other than the gallows? ❞

He phrased these words carefully, all the while watching the kindly surgeon’s reaction. Far more palpable was the appearance of a naive, if not rather sheltered student with a morbid curiosity, rather than a man laying the foundations of his next gruesome project.  ❝ Where does one find such men? ❞ 

[vivificantem]

Kit Harington as Roland Leighton in Testament of Youth - requested by anonymous

[vivificantem]

— Franz Kafka, Letter to His Father

[text ID: He is afraid the shame will outlive him.]