vivalahilton

[vivalahilton]

last time my mom visited I was talking to her about parenting and how I appreciated a lot of the choices she and my father had made about raising me and my brother and she agreed that just listening to the child and taking them seriously was the One Weird Trick to cutting out like 60% of conflicts between parents and children. and she said one time I was about three or four years old and we were all going to the grocery store, and at the threshold of the store I just had a meltdown. i was overwhelmed, I was crying, I was just at the end of my rope like kids get sometimes. and instead of dragging me through the store my mom and dad stopped what we were doing and just asked me what the problem was. and I was able to say I didn't want to be there, I couldn't do it, I wanted to go home. and she says she and my father just looked at each other and back at me and said "okay" and we all went home that day instead of forcing the grocery store trip. and I had so few public meltdowns as a kid despite being pretty autistic because, I think, I knew that if I ever really needed to leave, my parents would understand and back me up. and that was the case throughout my childhood. which paradoxically (one might think) resulted in me having fewer incidents of being overwhelmed in the first place, which then made me better able to handle increasing amounts of stress and so on. it also taught me that expressing feelings and communicating them to my caretakers wasn't going to be punished or ignored or called weird, so unlike many other autistic kids who get judged or rebuked for expressing sensitivity or opposition, I didn't need to constantly blockade everyone and internalize everything all the time.

it's a pretty simple concept whether your kids are autistic or not, but most parents don't seem to get it. their parents taught them to just force everything and let the child deal with it alone so they just repeat the cycle even though they know how it feels.

[vivalahilton]

me too

[vivalahilton]

[vivalahilton]

[vivalahilton]

This is the money Marge. Reblog for good fortune

[vivalahilton]

I wish it was easier to talk about mobile phone addiction without sounding like a boomer

[vivalahilton]

[vivalahilton]

many of you

[vivalahilton]

fuck moo deng btw

[vivalahilton]

Posts that mean nothing to anyone except gays and women ages 21-28

[vivalahilton]

[vivalahilton]

[vivalahilton]

the culture has gotten so intensely prudish towards sex drugs alcohol and even cigarettes i cannot believe just this year we had headlines about jenna ortega “caught” smoking a cigarette and charli xcx snorting cocaine is a Huge part of the jokes that people make about her as if its unique of her and dave grohl had to put out a public statement admitting to cheating on his wife and having a bastard child are we all fucking AMISH NOW

[vivalahilton]

[vivalahilton]

Be honest, are you a bad person in any kind of way? I've been finding out about gross stuff that a bunch of blogs I really liked did and I feel icky :(

yeah in most ways. Good luck out there

[vivalahilton]

[vivalahilton]