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derek pls have mercy

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best ship dynamic is when they go from "you fool" (derogatory) to "you fool" (desperate)

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There was this guy in the 1800s - I can't remember his name, but his name is recorded somewhere - who honestly argued that if given the choice between a beautiful woman and a heron, deep down in their most earnest true heart, every man would rather fuck the heron. And he got mad when people denied this, continuing to deny this what he had decided must be an universal truth, instead of praising him for being the only one who was brave enough to finally say it out loud. Like he really thought that every single person telling him "Jesse what the hell are you talking about" was not only denying him, but denying themselves their true desires and perpetuating the apparently massive cultural lie that herons aren't fuckable.

Anyway what I'm saying here is that every once in a while whenever you find yourself in a situation where nobody else is willing to agree with something that you consider the most obvious truth, take a moment to meditate on the possibility that perhaps they do mean what they say, and perhaps they are right. Maybe nobody else but you wants to fuck the heron.

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suck, and i cannot stress this enough, my cock to the fucking base

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“カワセミはよく勢い余って木に突き刺さると聞いたので、心と壁に突き刺さるカワセミ画鋲作りました。ついでにキツツキも。”（いしかわかずや｜アイデアクリエイター@issikazu20）

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He’s so pretty… I want him to be grievously injured

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M E R R Y  C H R I S T M A S 

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Not only are the Comedy Wildlife Photo Award winners all excellent, the banner announcements are glorious when taken out of context.

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Just a lil song for you, a Ziggy original