vintagegap - Tumblr blog

[vintagegap]

A while back my aunt was listening to me talk about how painful it was to be motherless & have essentially raised my siblings without female influence in my life and said to me “yes, but you are the matriarch of your family and that is a beautiful thing as well.” Today I finally felt that in full for the first time. The second of my younger brothers moved out a couple of weeks ago & had a terrible fight w/his boyfriend so I picked him up after work to talk about it. We sat at the kitchen table & I gave him advice & I was so afraid for him & scared he was going to fold under the pressure of this horrible relationship coming to an end… then it became apparent over the course of the conversation that he has a network of friends in the area, he won’t lose his housing if they break up, his (asshole of a) boyfriend will be the one to leave. I felt this weird euphoria and pride wash over me. It’s so hard to describe I just realized that both of my brothers now at 23 and 25 really are okay on their own, they’re fully formed adults and they’re not going to blow over and break. Holy shit, it was like this huge weight off of my chest. I am respected for my advice but I don’t have to constantly be on edge that something bad will happen to them. They’re more mature than I give them credit for. So strange and beautiful

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are you ever like. i’m not the right Me right now to hang out with people. wait until the better guy shows up lol this one kind of sucks 

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clear communication is the most attractive thing ever

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the „sexual revolution“ was for men by the way. it did not promote female orgasm in heterosex or men satisfying women, or healthy boundaries and consent, or women voicing our own sexual desires and being horny and masturbating. it promoted what men always wanted: uncommitted sex, multiple partners, no expectations put on them, women „giving it up“ and getting naked for them, promoting porn and prostitution; basically women fulfilling male sexual desires and considering it revolutionary because its different from what their parents did. what a joke!

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I hate it when men smile at me

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why is it so difficult to not borrow grief from the future

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i've been focusing deeply on not giving a shit about what people think. if i notice my thoughts going down that path, then i shut them down. i'm not trying to read anyone's mind. i'm just going to be myself and try my best. if i fuck up, then i fuck up. if i look stupid, then i look stupid. everyone looks stupid, sometimes. it's so much more important to be yourself earnestly and passionately, in all of your stupid glory

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i wish romance was real and not just displaced longing for what was missing in the past

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gps but for a way out of this

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ever since i was a little girl i knew i was gonna need a miracle

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Not to brag but like …. my energy … my mind .. Wow

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what they don't tell you is that you don't just grieve the people you lost but also the life you could've had if they didn't go

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faye wong for the magazine citta bella, april 2001

[vintagegap]

I HAVE TO DO THE WORK SO THAT MY LIFE CAN BE DIFFERENT AND I CAN REAP THE BENEFITS

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we just have to trust the unfolding

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After a mentally exhausting day this is all I needed..