Vin, she/they. Main blog is @szethsmom. I am way too in love with my OCs, so imma scream about them here where no one has to see it. Avatar, unfortunately, by me.
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nothinggg better than torturing an emotionally repressed character until every single trauma they've ever refused to process starts spilling uncontrollably out of the cracks. like a matryoshka doll situation of repressed trauma and baby you better believe i'm going in there with a hammer
#@ hotguysfugue this is you#ATTACKING MY LITTLE GUYS#I would be mad if I didn’t also enjoy it way too much
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hate coming to terms with things. i should be able to cast a fireball instead
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seething about the fact that i will never experience photosynthesis in my own useless cells. i bet it feels so good when the light of the sun both warms you and fuels you at the same time. a bone-deep satisfaction mixed with a heated sugar-rush and endless brightness. not that i would fucking know
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Me: “I’m not going to add any more songs to Loki’s playlists. They’re too long already, and I’m not even playing her anymore.”
Halsey: *releases a new album*
Me: “……fuck.”
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Enemies to lovers "who did this to you?" about scars? Great, of course. However, I raise you this: "I did this to you."
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just found out violent revenge will not quell my grief, despite the blood and sweat i put into all of this. WHat is this for then? What the fuck is this bloodshed for?
#for the love of the game babey#….is what Loki told herself before she realized that even that was another sad excuse to fill the void in her soul#yeah I LOVED playing that realization out#oc: loki
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things to ask yourself when designing a female character:
how much blood is she covered in
are her eyes filled with madness
can she rip things to shreds with her fingernails
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Sorry for yearning for the ocean on main. It will happen again.
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If you ever find yourself in a horror scenario, remember to blush really hard when the ghost/demon/monster appears. If you do that fast enough you might be able to shift the genre.
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You really need to make non-tragic past for your characters, significant people and events that impacted their lives, non-dramatic mundane moments that shaped them, happy memories, bitter memories, embarrassing memories.
Like yes the space princess lost her whole civilization, but did she have friends before that? Favorite place? Does she miss the sound of her favorite music she use to listen to?
#YEAH#honestly having happy memories just makes any tragedy that much more poignant#like. I had Loki. who genuinely experienced happiness for the first time IN THE CAMPAIGN#the closest Loki had to happy memories were like. fleeting sensations of love that didn’t even belong to her. they were Artagan’s.#and she resented the hell out of them#that was its own kind of fucked up and awesome to roleplay#and then I have Myra who… most of her life was actually pretty happy#and now she’s revisiting all the sights she used to frequent with her family and sharing them with her new crew#and it’s just. the most bittersweet feeling#but she’s also got things that don’t fit. the rampant alcoholism of Port Lydia versus her dad dying of liver failure from being an alcoholic#being piss-poor and busking for copper as a kid. but also feeling loved and cared for by her dad and her community.#just fucking. walking into the ocean when she got upset. and then traveling away from any water and not having her coping mechanism.#idk. I feel very strongly about Loki discovering warmth for the very first time#but I also love playing someone who’s actually had a LOT of good in their life#and I don’t think Myra’s like. sheltered or naive or anything (unlike some party members seem to think)#I think she just KNOWS that the world can be better than this bc she’s seen it be. and she’s fucking disappointed in all the people actively#making it worse. like. come ON.#ESPECIALLY the people who (in her mind) are lucky enough to live in a city where they should *fucking know better*#oc: loki#oc: myra#vin rambles in the tags
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Don't be silly – it's only a cycle of violence if it's sustainable. This is a spiral of violence.
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i am a tragedy enjoyer before i am human
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people always talk about evil clones like oooh a dark mirror oohh what if you saw what are cruel person you were/are capable of becoming. and well yes but what if you were the evil clone. what if you looked in the mirror and what you saw was so bright it blinded you. what if you had to know exactly how good you could have been.
#consider meeting a version of yourself who grew up with love and support instead of being dragged into it kicking and screaming as an adult#ough yeah that’s A Lot#oc: loki
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this whole ouroboros thing keeps coming back to bite me in the ass
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