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A rescued pelican in the backseat.

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this gave me a, no joke, 60 second coughing fit and im still recovering

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I don't know who needs to hear this, but if the phrase "self care" doesn't resonate with you, try calling it "system maintenance" and see if that clicks.

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i think this is supposed to be homophobic but i haven’t stopped laughing at this for 30 minutes this is SO FUCKING FUNNY

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the selective breeding of music to get shorter and shorter for tik tok has resulted in devastating negative long term health effects on the songs

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I think often if the time I was working for a state forest overwinter and my roommate and I were the only people living in a 12-bedroom bunkhouse in the forest so one day her friend asked of she could do some sort of volunteer work in and live there for the winter. the friend was a wildland firefighter and it’s a travesty that the most people fighting wildfires in this country are only seasonally employed, unhoused most of the year, and don’t even get health insurance. Genuinely it’ll give me an ulcer if I think too much about it.

We contacted our supervisor who told us there was no volunteer work that qualified for housing but when he found out she fights fires in the forest we were managing, I guess he reasoned that she sort of worked there anyway, so he said, “just don’t make it obvious.”

So she lived there all winter & one day one of the forest rangers in charge of our housing came to do her annual inspection and she walked in, saw three bedrooms occupied when there should have only been two, and as she stood there looking at the bedrooms, my coworker confidently said, “I have a lot of stuff.”

The ranger raised her eyebrows at the two bedrooms located beside each other, and said, “I can see that.”

She left after the inspection and we assumed she was vaguely in-the-know and chose not to bust us, but the next month I was out for drinks with another ranger and he said, “Does [coworker] really have so much stuff she took up two rooms?? How did she fit all that in her car?”

Apparently, the first ranger took us at face value.

I said, “Yeah, she must be really good at packing.”

He said, “[Ranger 1] told me two beds were made. She’s sleeping in two beds?”

I said, “Yeah, she likes switching beds to shake it up. It got really quiet over the winter.”

He sipped his beer very thoughtfully and said, “Huh. Not a bad idea.”

In a way that sounded like he probably went home and tried that out.

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having viral posts is all fun and games until you have clowns in your mentions being like "well, op, i bet you also didn't know THIS" [haughtily explains something i absolutely would and do know] like add whatever to my posts that you think is informative just don't direct it at ME! i know! i just didn't include it in the post i made in 20 seconds because i didn't think 30,000 of you would see it!

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Truly I'm still in 2011 playing wizard101. I don't know dick from squat when it comes to battle strategy and equipment grinding and pet breeding and on and on and on. All I know is hit thing harder than it hit me, like god intended. Yes I lose battles a lot why do you ask

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one of my favorite things to do in limited perspective is write sentences about the things someone doesn't do. he doesn't open his eyes. he doesn't reach out. i LOVE sentences like that. if it's describing the narrator, it's a reflection of their desires, something they're holding themselves back from. there's a tension between urge and action. it makes you ask why they wanted or felt compelled to do that, and also why they ultimately didn't. and if it's describing someone else, it tells you about the narrator's expectations. how they perceive that other person or their relationship. what they thought the other person was going to do, or thought the other person should have done, but failed to. negative action sentences are everything.

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Microwave-Steamed Eggs by Eric Kim

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me: “sorry ): can’t come!! got so much to do at home”

me as soon as im home:

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average Tumblr adult active here since 2014 when they scroll past werewolf boyfriend posts in the year of our lord 2024

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YOU hates terfs