victoriuuh
Mind Over Matter
oh hi! I'm Victoria Ngo. August 10th & UofC. I spam my emotions, and I blog random things. Half of the time, I'm a complete mess.
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I wanted you forever, but you only wanted me for a moment
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I think about you. But I don’t say it anymore.
Marguerite Duras, Hiroshima, Mon Amour (1959)
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I became soooo private with my life, I used to tell my friends everything. Now I don’t tell anyone shit. & If you ask, I’m always good.
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it’s times like this when I wonder what the fuck i was doing before he came along. Because I was good at one point, fine without him, happy even. So why can’t I remember that time?
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stacy asked me how I knew I loved him.
“I just knew.”
I wasn’t ready to tell her that when I was around him, my world stopped. I loved him more than I loved myself. Was that healthy? No. But that was my reality then. My thoughts were plagued with him. Every moment. Every second.
I would have done anything for him. I probably still would.
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I’m still not sure about where I’m going, and I’m not 100% happy,
but for once, I’m completely ok with where I am.
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I’m always being judged about what I want in life.
Honestly, I don’t really care about what they think.
But what bothers me, is that, they expect me to support them 100% on their decisions, and their choices, and their wants, and needs, etc.
Yet, when it comes down to what I want, what I need, what my choices are, they’re like, “LOL Victoria, why do you think so much about it?”
Am I not supposed to think about my future?
Am I not supposed to know what I want?
Am I not allowed to live a life that I love?
I am so over that.
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Always & Forever
I’ve been thinking lately, about how much you meant to me, no, how much you mean to me.
Truth be told, I don’t think I will ever get over you.
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i feel like i’ve already envisioned a future with you when we barely have a present.
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We haven’t spoken to each other in four years, and haven’t seen each other in two.
why does my heart still hurt then,
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