veryfewwdancerrs-blog

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IM SO HAPPY

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Cute lil edit I made

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I’m allowed to be angry about what happened. I am allowed to be angry about what you did.

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love is a fucking scam. eat a mango bitch

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Dear No One,

I think about you every second of every of minute of every day.

Is your hair blonde, brown, black or red?

Are you terribly short, or awfully tall?

Does your skin resemble raw honey, caramel, sun-kissed auburn, or licorice?

I desire the privilege of getting to know you, whether we have been properly introduced or have never crossed paths.

Though I may not know you, I love you, most ardently.

~ future companion

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someday someone will walk into your life and make you realize why it never worked out with anyone else

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Attempt at writing.

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I’m honestly so straight for Ezra Miller. I love him he is perfect and beautiful.

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Ezra’s smirk always kill me 🔪😏🔥🔥🔥

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Ezra Miller behind the scenes of “Justice League”

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Honestly, so much has changed in the past two months now I’m single. I’ve got a good social life now, developed strong friendships with people, skipping college less, getting better grades, asking for help when I need it. I’ve found it easier to get out of bed in the mornings. I’m sleeping better at night and I have more energy throughout the day. I’m eating better and feeling more positive. I’m working harder. I’m pushing myself. I’m independent.

A few months ago I thought I was happy. I wasn’t. I was in an emotionally abusive and manipulate relationship which was toxic for both me and him. I loved him but it wasn’t healthy. I hated myself. I felt like shit. I was self harming, smoking, binge eating. I thought I was loved but I wasn’t. He wanted me to change myself too much. Just so i would suit his ideals. And I couldn’t. So he made me feel bad. Told me I’d be better when I’m skinnier. That I’ve slept with too many people before him. That I was emotionally abusive to him when he literally disconnected me from my friends. All my spare time was for him. He’d patronise me, make me feel stupid. He said he wanted to have sex with other women. Because I wouldn’t have sex with him. Because I don’t want to have sex with someone who made me feel so insecure. We haven’t had sex in over a year and a half because I tended up. Because I went through trauma when I was 15 and it still impacts me. And apparently I had a victim complex. When my rights as a child and a human were stripped from me. And when I was at my end. When I felt I had no other choice. When I was about to finish it all and I told him that apparently I was blackmailing him into staying. We had fights. A couple of times it got physical. I was so depressed. I’m glad I did the right thing and left him. Even my parents told me how much my mental health deteriorated when I was with him. We broke up 8 times within two years. But in the end I said no. That’s enough. You can’t say this stuff to me and expect me to be fine with it. That’s not how this works. I’ve put up with it for so long. You’ve made me hate myself. This is not who I am. This is not who I was meant to be. So you go sleep with other women. Because I am only an object to you.

Of course sometimes I miss him. You do miss the good qualities of a relationship. The hugs, the kisses. The laughs and inside jokes. The secrets. But now I realise, I can have all of this. I can find someone who makes me feel beautiful and supports me. Who will stand by my side even on my darkest days. Someone I can trust. Someone I can stand by and be proud to be with. Who loves me unconditionally. I don’t need him anymore. I was afraid to be myself for too long. And now I’m not. I’m free

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Lonely, but not when you hold me

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Sometimes I like being single but I miss having someone to tell my secrets to. Someone to hold me when I’m sad.

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I just really want a hug, someone to hold me and tell me everything will be okay.

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Heave yourself as waves do

When tempests rage,

Show the world

Your might, your wits, your brains

Don’t let it crush the

Self that hides in your tides

For the seas cannot be outraged

By their words, their atrocities,

Too busy

Soothing the sorrows of the just

And shushing the misleads of distrust