verxpie

[verxpie]

𝘚𝘵𝘶𝘱𝘪𝘥 𝘨𝘪𝘳𝘭

Summary | You come to a realize involving Bucky

wc | 0.8k

authors note | this is my first post and I apoligze if there's spelling errors, I didn't feel like editing

John 'Bucky' Egan x Nurse! Reader

You were such a fool. 

Such a fool to let yourself be encapsulated in such a complex web that is John Egan. It didn’t even take much to fall, a simple chaste kiss as he rushed out of the hospital after you had accepted his offer to save him a dance at the party later that evening. It was never going to end well, and you knew that. Bucky was not a man to be tied down, the commitment to you would suffocate him, and you harbored too much affection for him to let that happen. So you let him come and go, basking in the passion the two of you would entangle yourselves in, even if only for the night, before he slipped away once more. You were a humble, giving woman. A nurse everyone loved and a girl everyone respected. Surely you could have this one thing to yourself? You could have the feeling of his lips linger on your body hours after he had left his mark, could you not? In the entirety of this disgraceful, depressing war, if only that, could you not have him to love and cherish? You were a fool to believe the delusions your heart fed you, now you were sick, dry heaving from the taste the truth has left in your mouth.

You lay, sheets covering your body like a painting as you watch him get ready. You open your mouth to speak, closing it not a second after. “Bucky.” You rasp, morning voice not yet gone. He hums, a deep grumble from his chest spreading throughout the room as he sits on the edge of the bed tying his boots. “It’s still early you know, the sun hasn’t even risen yet. You could at least another hour.” You say, watching his back muscles flex as he sits up. “No baby,” he sighs, fatigue plaguing his every move. “Debrief starts at 0700 and the last thing I need is for someone to be wondering where the hell I’m at.” 

 “Well,” you whisper, drawing shapes on the now empty side of the bed. “I’m sure if you're back before-” He cuts you off, stunning you into silence. “Drop it, I already said I don’t need anybody on my back about where I’ve been all night. I’m sure Buck is already onto me where I spent my time as is.”

“Why am I getting the feeling that you're trying to keep me a secret?” Sitting up, you grab the chemise hanging off your nightstand and pull it over your head. “Oh don’t start,” He groans, coming close enough to pull you in by your waist. “We have a good thing goin’, the best damn thing I’ve had in a while. Why ruin it by lettin’ everyone in our business?” You search his face, looking for any detail you might have missed that could tell you that he was joking. “Are you fucking kidding me right now?” You push him away from you, hands flailed in the air in disbelief. “I give you everything I have, and you tell me that you wanna keep me as your dirty little secret?” You watch as his face morphs from shock to anger. “Don’t you fuckin’ place the blame on me,” he picks the sheepskin jacket from the floor, putting it on as his eyes never leave yours. “I never said I wanted something more than this. You think I come over to yours every night, thinking ‘Oh I’m gonna marry this girl one day’?” You freeze, and he knows he’s cut you deep, but it’s too late to say sorry. “You think I like doing this? Sneaking around behind everyones back to fuck you in the supply closet?” Your anger seeps out of you, heating the room up despite the pouring rain outside. “I could get anyone for that, you asshole.” Your pointer finger digs into his chest, he hadn’t even realized you had gotten so close. “You think I make the time for you after a night shift because I want a quick fuck?” You’re crying now, tears streaming down

your face as you push further and further until his back has hit the wall. “I give everything I have to you, everything, and you think I do that for fun, for a fantasy? You’re much blinder than I thought, John.” You laugh, wiping the tears from your face, suddenly feeling embarrassed over the fact that you’re crying over some silly boy. He stands there, silent, as you stare at him, hoping that he says something, anything, to put your mind at ease.

“Get out.” You say, picking up the rest of his things, shoving them into his arms. “Wh-” His words catch in his throat. Never would you think the day would come where you saw John Bucky Egan at a loss for words. “Out!” You yell, tears starting again. He leaves without a word, the closing as you plop yourself down on the bed, sobs racking your body.

What a foolish girl you were to think that John Egan would ever give you his love.