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| Calm 🏷

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Me posting on tumblr:

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SIIK-RAW LACE -4 Styling Options

-Custom Thumbnails

-Transparent Hairbase

-50 Color Swatches This very lengthy hair has 4 different versions to choose from. All 50 swatches can be worn with many different sim shades. Enjoy! No converting No Stealing No claiming No reselling Ask before you recolor

Click here for SATANSHUBBY No Bars Lacefront Click here for Decvyed DD SET

DOWNLOAD

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this is the cutest, well written, well posed sim story ive read. im a school girl over here

Whatever floats your boat | Next

*sigh*... I'm stressed out and had to close the lot so no links to filth at this point. We're just gonna let them make up...

However, please stay tuned for Hope's graduation.. *IF* she makes it to the damn ceremony.

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GSHADE 3.5.0 Cracked Tutorial Feb.2023

Alright with the recent events regarding the development team of GShade figuratively going under and the current version of this program available being far from perfect. It would be lovely to back to a version of GShade that doesn't have malware, the changes that disabled the depth of field effects, and the removal of some older shaders. So here's a tutorial on how to install 3.5.0 of GShade. It's the version that we as a collective switched to all those months back, when GShade popped off in the community. Also the version I used to take this picture and got from @toskasimz who sent me the files. She's the reason why I have my pretty pictures back. It took a long time to get my preset to look like this and the modern versions of Gshade and Reshade don't have the shaders for this anymore. The suggested skill level for this is basic knowledge of how to install Reshade/Gshade and knowledge of where to find the game Bin file and Program Files on your pc.

Note: This version is before the code that shut down your PC, if you manipulated the code of the program, was introduced. Use at your own risk. I personally have no issue with using it. I'm using my laptop I do school work on and I have no money to buy a new one so that's my assessment on how safe it is.

To start download this media fire file. It's a Rar file. Unzip it.

In the unzipped version of this file, you should have a folder that's highlighted below called GShade.

Inside that file are two folders. Program Files-G-Shade and TS4 Bin Folder. These folder names correspond with where the contents of these will go on your pc.

Alright inside the folders you should have the following content in the Program Files-G-Shade

Inside the TS4 Bin Folder, you should have the following contents inside it.

Place the GShade folder from the Program Files-G-Shade into your computer's Program(x86) file. This may have a different name based on your computer.

Next Place the contents of the TS4 Bin Folder which should be the G-Shade configuration file and the folder of GShade-Shaders into your Bin folder. (note I have gshade installed already so you won't have the extra files before installation.)

Now go back to the Program(x86) file on your PC and go into the G-shade folder.

Double Click to run the program.

This is where you gonna need to pull your Reshade/Gshade knowledge. You just install the program as normal to the game. I will say I don't know if this will work with other games.

Alright, this is what you should be left with after installing G-Shade. Everything transferred to the Program Files with the exception of this folder. Leave it be and go to the Program Files file on your pc.

Once in the Program Files folder double click the GShade Control Panel.

You should get the following screen Go to the Installations tab. Delete this file path. This is a very important step. It's not gonna work if you don't reinstall the program. Delete it and click Add New.

Install the program as viewed above. Click Next and set up your screenshot folder.

Click No on viewing the guild. You should have a control panel on your desktop. You can go in a convert you reshade presets if needed.

Alright if everything was done correctly open your game. It'll take a moment to load and when it does you greeted with the following screen on start-up.

Ignore the yellow text on the top. It says that your effects are disabled because it's not online. It works I could be misinterpreting what "effect" means but my shader work so I'm not complaining.

And there you go. Installed, and works perfectly. Don't update it. I don't know what it'll do. I have not tried. I will upload an edited version of my preset later this week or tonight. I have to tweak the color of the fog and make a decent post. Enjoy! I am open to helping under this post and in dms!

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apt tour..

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don’t mind me, just hating the quality difference between my computer and my little iphone

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The Babes 

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I tell Hassan all the time “black people don’t like that” and he’s always taken aback and asks why and usually the answer is like “long story short…slavery” and now I’m just hoping slavery doesn’t come up tonight.

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But other than that my family gets to finally meet Leona tonight 🎉

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It’s always the little things that set me off. Today it was thinking about Leona’s traumatic birth but it wasn’t the birth that sent me downward, it the fact that Leona was two weeks old and none of my family had met her yet. Before I could stop them, the tears were sliding down my cheeks. Fuck. I hated crying. And why was I? I wasn’t that homesick; my family was throwing a “meet and greet the baby” in less than two days.

It wasn’t that. It was more of a sinking feeling or a shadow that followed me—a stone in my shoe. But I needed to tell myself I was sad, and find reasons why. More accurately, the shadow needed a reason to exist.

I could hear Hassan’s footsteps all the way from the patio. I definitely didn’t want him to see me cry; he would definitely just find a way to make it worse. “Rub some dirt on it,” feels like something he’d say, or tell me about how they do it in his country. Still, he was at my side sooner than I could get myself together.

“Baby, what’s wrong?” I shook my head. “Don’t worry about it,” I said dismissively, just hoping for once that could pacify his need to know everything at all times. “No no no no…you say everything is fine, and then I give you the space but, then I feel” he searched for English words. “…a fire inside of me watching you cry all through the house”

“Interesting how you make this about you, San, which is why I rather just deal with this alone.”

“It is not about me, but also it is about me. We are an us now..” he moved closer to me, but my wall was unmovable and now I felt hot anger in my chest.

“Cut that shit out. You care so much?” His eyebrow furrowed with confusion. “I do care. You know that I do care, Jazlyn.”

“Then why did you cheat on me for a year straight?!” I knew I was irrational now. Leona was sleeping next to him on the couch and I was yelling and I didn’t care. She was the only thing saving me anyway—It didn’t sound bad right now to just take her and close myself off in one of these rooms.

Something in his eyes changed. “Jazlyn, you are being insufferable now. Why bring up things we agreed to keep in the past? Why accuse me of bad intentions if you willingly agreed to the arrangement we had?”

I was quiet. I knew the card I played. It was true, Hassan and I didn’t have a picture perfect love story, if that’s even what you could call it. And even though that was true—that we agreed to date for appearances for which I would get paid—it made this hard. I can’t say Getting pregnant with Leona was a complete accident, but it wasn’t apart of the plan, and now we were trying to actualize this relationship with a faulty foundation. Going back was hard. Most times though, although Hassan’s ex lived rent free in my head, she lived in the very back. Our chemistry was stronger than our circumstances. Leona added to that because the agreement changed when she became a thought. Only now that I was dealing with…so much, was this actually visible. Too visible for me.

“You’re right. I knew what this was. So you can go. I’m pretty sure bitches will be busting your door down”

“Are you stupid? I’ve done nothing but show my affection for you” he shook his head, his brow still furrowed. He looked at me like I was his own personal villain. “Maybe if I do go, then maybe you would see how much I’ve done for you. In my country—“

“Hassan, be forreal. I don’t wanna hear about your country right now. And how much you’ve done for me?!”

“Yes, Jazlyn. I’ve done so much to prove my care for you. I am here trying to win the approval of a woman who already has my child. In my—“ I gave him a viscous side eye.

“In my country, this is not customary,” he continued. “My father is already so mad that this relationship became serious and you know how hard it is for me to go against him. In my country—“ I closed my eyes, annoyed. “Sons don’t go against their fathers”

“Then don’t”

I wasn’t looking at him but I could feel him rise from the couch, picking Leona up. “Then I won’t. When we get back home I’ll take all my things to the apartment.”

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Our time is now.

When I looked into the eyes of the eighteen year old man who had somehow aged thirty eight years in what seemed like ten, I saw life in them again. His face sagged a little now and his eyes were framed with crows feet, furrowed lines decorated his forehead, but he was still Miles. I hoped I was still just Yuna when he looked at me. 

No one told us when we were all mixed up with feelings of new love, eager to start a family that our younger years would escape us. I ask often how thirty eight years seemed to pass by me even as I remember living them, but then I think of the constant loop of morning and night routines; egg and toast breakfasts, dashing off to school and work with little to no spontaneity in between. I remember countless birthdays and holidays that kind of blurred together by this time. We were so happy each year to just do the same things just hoping the stability would create a good foundation for our girl. We were at all of her events. There were track meets and ballet recitals—both talents of my one, very versatile, child. We’d only had the one kid but she was going to make sure she kept me busy enough that I’d never have to wonder what life was like with two. I remember the moment I’d gone from maiden to mother. I’d waited on the operating table—my husband by my side—for what felt like too long to finally hold her. She gave them hell when she was out and the fierce cry never stopped. That is until they placed her bundled body in my arms and I spoke to her for the first time saying, “Mama’s here,” in a hushed tone, cancelling her cry in its midst, but igniting mine. Of all my fantasies of her, I’d never imagined her this perfect. Miles was a teary mess. I knew that from now on we were both on the same mission. Sometimes the details differed, but simply put: Naya.

The feeling of change was sensational that day. Like the butterfly effect; one single moment in the present that would change the course of our lives. I could feel it as it happened, as the story changed based off this unique event, but still…no one told us that the next five years would be the most brutal years of toddlerhood—that we would wrack our brains trying to understand her—and that the ten after that would be spent trying to convince her that not only did she not know everything, she knew absolutely nothing. No one told us that as we focused on bringing our child up in the way that she should go, we might completely lose ourselves. In turn, we would lose each other. Because if they had, maybe would have waited. But then, if we knew then what we know now, perhaps she would never have happened at all; most young people wouldn’t choose suffering willingly.

The first five years were full of trial and as if parenting wasn’t enough of a relationship strain, Miles was still getting his business off the ground. By the time Naya was off to college, miles could have been a couch to me. Our marriage was that dead. Obviously, there were times when things seemed to spark again, but focus would soon shift back to our responsibilities. When Naya had our grandson, our responsibilities became being grandparents and helping our daughter keep her dreams alive. I mean, we’d done well for ourselves. Bought a bungalow in Sulani before Naya even graduated from the university, miles’ business constructing engines for aircrafts had taken off to heights no one ever imagined, and we raised a damned fine woman, but there was no love in our living room for a long time.

One day, though, I woke up and didn’t feel completely void of energy. I didn’t feel like my chest was going to cave in from discontent. I looked over at my sleeping husband and noticed that he’d kept in good shape. His skin was still the prettiest brown I’d laid eyes on. He never did fully gray. He was still so handsome, still Miles. We were old as hell and I couldn’t, in detail, explain to you how that happened, but I was done being robbed of soul shattering, groundbreaking, passionate love. I tugged at his arm, willing him to face me. Before he could come to, I rushed him with a kiss. It was the kind of kiss that returned all the years we’d given away.

Our time is now, I decided.

In the recent years, I lived more life than than the fifty that preceded me. I danced in my kitchen with a delicious chocolate man, I swam with dolphins in the clear salt water that surrounded our island, and sex—really, really good sex in front of a fire was a common occurrence. I had found joy in the smallest things, like being a plant mom. The type of peace I was living in could only be described as Nirvana, and with whatever time I had left, I knew I could say I’ve lived well.

“Yuni,” his deep voice carried, interrupting my thoughts. His forehead rested against mine and he looked into my eyes for a second, sort of initiating a connection between us. He pulled me in for a tight hug and I wondered what was in his head. Pulling back he looked down and a small breath of a laugh came from him. he seemed pleased with whatever he had come up with.

 “Marry me?”

I laughed at what seemed like a joke, but he didn’t break his gaze even a little bit. 

“I asked you to marry me when we were young and we promised through sickness and health, for richer, for poor, and we promised forever, right?”

“uh-huh…”

“we’ve done all that now. And I meant it, to the best of my ability when I told you forever, but today i’m a man made of a million experiences, so when I offer you forever this time, I offer you a forever full of effort. I retract my forever that meant simply existing in the same world indefinitely and replace it with the intention of filling our golden years with life, loving you, Yuna, with all that I have left until it carries over into a Universe where you’re someone else and i’m…I don’t know…your dog or something,” I smiled big. “Baby, marry me again.”

[Epilogue 1 of townie backstories. ]

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love me anyway

Are you mad still?”

I was. And I hated when his Persian tongue, almost completely erased by his time spent with American culture, leaked into his speech—It turned me into some meek little girl. I stood at the patio doorway, hating that we were arguing on an island. “Hassan, I’m obviously still mad,” I answered flatly. “I shouldn’t be stressed in a place like this…at a time like this.” I swatted him away as he pulled my hair away from my neck. “I shouldn’t be stressed because of you.” I wanted my words to burn him, yet his hands were at my waist and his lips rubbed against my neck, not yet a kiss. He could be so sweet, whisking me away as a push gift or filling my car with every color rose he could find, but also Hassan had a way of polluting every endeavor he made to revitalize this relationship. I didn’t want to be mad at him but that’s where we were.

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“Fine, be mad | fuck me anyway”

[Epilogue 2--Hassan | Jazlyn]

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long rant about the pack incoming i'm sorry in advanced

it's beyond weird for us to be expected to buy a pack (or even a couple) just to be able to enjoy the basics of each life stage imo. and there's still no content for elders, looks like we're never getting preteens, barely anything for children... and i have to say it's so sad to see that 2/3 of additions we got to life stages are about school. sim relationships, interactions and personalities require so much imagination because there just isn't any gameplay to back it up. staying up till 2 am giggling with the group chat as a teen, making up secret languages as kids, sneaking candy to your grandchildren behind your child's back as an elder, going to your high school reunion as and adult (huge mussed opportunity for this pack!) etc are all details that make a life stage unique and we get none of that. it's all high school and uni preparing you for the same job options we've had for years. idk i'm just tired of playing half the game in my head ig.

ps i love forests a lot more than an average person but god this feels like the 50th forest world. just no variety what so ever. and who the hell wanted this teen sim influencer thing, let us do stick and pokes under the bleachers and write essays for other sims to earn money

i don’t have anything to add, you said it all sooooo perfectly

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Something to repeat to yourself in the shower:

My stories are not for everyone. 

My stories will bore some readers. Some readers will hate them. Some won’t understand, won’t connect the dots, won’t relate to the characters. Some won’t because they can’t, some won’t because they don’t want to, but most won’t simple because my stories just aren’t for them.

My stories aren’t for everyone.

My stories are for me.

And they’re for the readers who will love them. They’re for the reader who have already loved them. For the readers who will see what I see in them and feel the characters and the world the way I do. They’re for the readers who wanted these stories before they even knew they existed. They’re for the readers they’ll make smile, the readers they’ll stick with, and the readers they’ll save.

And just because my stories aren’t for everyone doesn’t make them worth any less to the people they are for. 

Not everyone likes butterflies. Not everyone likes spiders. But the people who love those creatures more than anything else would lose a part of themselves if they didn’t exist. 

So no, my stories are not for everyone. But that doesn’t matter. 

Because they’re for someone, and to that someone, they’re irreplaceable.