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I can’t feel my meat when im with you. but i jork it

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swifties always going on the "you just hate women" defense like first of all Taylor Swift is not a woman she's an unskippable ad

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i dont give a FUCK any more man this has gone TOO far i'm deleting ALL the exclamation points from my work emails. that's right. i hope you have a good weekend. and no more than that

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[skyrim guard voice] i heard kendrick lamar murdered drake… with his voice! shouted him apart!

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pokèmonize yourself!!!!

spin this wheel to see your pokemon type

spin this one to see how you'll look like

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If humans were reconstructed from nothing but bones, they would 100% give us fur. The idea of “hairless except for the top of the head where the hair is actually the longest in the entire animal kingdom” would never come up

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does anyone have that reddit exchange screenshot where someone is like "what colour is this mouse??" and posts a mouse who is like in some sort of purple world with confetti around it and the top comment is like "it would be easier to tell if your mouse wasn't at the club" . i keep thinking about & referencing mouse at the club and i cant find it

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so if plastic cellophane is bad bc of microplastics and aluminium foil is bad bc.of aluminium in the brain, what da hell am i supposed to wrap my cured meats in to keep them fresh in the fridge???? i get acid reflux from dilemmas like these

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x

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I love Toothless so much as a disabled dragon. Literally some of the coolest dragon rep in any media ever and he's canonically disabled from almost the first moment we see him on screen. And he's a badass. And it's part of him (they don't ignore it! It's a big deal if his prosthetics aren't working properly!) and it just makes him cooler. Don't even get me started about Hiccup's prosthetics literally interlocking with Toothless's--

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I recently got an on-campus job. During the interview process, I requested that I not be scheduled on Friday nights or Saturdays as I am a Jewish student.

My boss immeadiately brightened and rushed to explain - "Of course ! Of course! We want to accomodate you! We have another worker who takes off for Ramadan. Do you need to take off for Ramadan?"

I shook my head, incredibly confused. "Uh. That's. Not my jurisdiction. I'm good." Boss nodded but was sure to add "Let me know if that ever changes. We can help you with Ramadan."

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jacking off should leave like a 30-60 min buff on your body and mind. it should have healing properties and shit. like the estus in dark souls

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azealia banks fujoing out on twitter rn

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