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book review: lullabies for little criminals

when i tell you that i am obsessed with this book, i seriously mean it. from the second i read the first word to after i finished the last paragraph, heather o'neill's voice has been living inside my head and narrating my every action.

this is seriously one of, if not the best books i've ever read in my entire life. it follows a preteen girl named baby growing up in montreal with a very young father with a big heart and a big drug addiction. the book really asks the difficult questions, exploring what happens when a kid is forced to grow up too quickly.

to me, baby reminds me of someone pushing someone else up a tall hill on a sled, but when they reach the top, the hill is so narrow that the sled tips over, and before the person pushing can catch them, the one in the sled is barreling downhill with no control, all alone.

it was grueling and horrifying, but i also couldn't stop reading. the way that the author describes things, with such a matter-of-factness, but also with such poignant comparisons, every line felt like strange and intoxicating poetry.

(SPOILERS BELOW)

★★★★★

yeah, i had to give this book five stars. it might be my new favorite book now, or at least in the top five. it seriously spoke to me in a way that past books just haven't. when i was reading it, it didn't feel like i was reading a book. it felt like it was listening to somebody's brain and following somebody through their life, and i was just so wrapped up in it, even when i wasn't reading it. sometimes, just looking at the book made me think.

i like books that make me think. the entire thing just felt so anecdotal. i wasn't dealing with characters, i was dealing with people. the story was realistic, to the point where it felt like a memoir, and i kept accidentally seeing it from a lens of "this is real". this book didn't make it obvious that i was reading fiction.

the way that the situation with alphonse snowballed was such a disaster that i couldn't stop reading. the way that to baby, everything seemed so casual and run of the mill until it startlingly wasn't. the way that she processed things was so childlike, but the things she was going through made her think like an adult too early.

i would recommend this book to absolutely anyone who can withstand the difficult things talked about in this book. it's a beautiful book, and i'm definitely going to be rereading it many times in the future.

[vellichor-d]

book review: the outsiders

i know, i know. i'm so late to this book, i'm hella late. i'm 18 and this was my first time reading the book. i heard it was good, i heard all the things, but just never got around to it until now.

and i'm SO GLAD i did.

this book is one of the best books i've ever picked up in my entire life. i couldn't stop thinking about it whenever i had to put it down, these characters nestled and rooted into my brain and they're never leaving. ever.

from the plot, to the characterization and development, to the poignant questions the narrator was always asking himself. it was such an amazing book, and i just loved every second of reading it.

(SPOILERS BELOW)

★★★★☆

i give this book four out of five stars. i really wanted to give it five, but there were a few really little things that forced me to keep it from that perfect score.

the first little thing is that i personally find violence scenes to be really boring to read, and of course, with all the rumbles and the murder, there was a LOT of violence throughout the book that i just found myself skimming. i'm not sure if it was because of the author's way of writing it, or just a personal preference thing. either way, it wasn't my favorite thing to read.

i also personally just don't really like characters that are "babied" by everybody in the book. it just kinda makes me uncomfortable, but this didn't really bother me in this book as much as it does in other books because you could still tell that these "babied" characters had a lot of grit to them, and they weren't just wet noodles that people shoved around. i also think that in a way, it was just how greasers did things, protecting those smaller than them. it's not a huge issue for me, even though it usually is.

i LOVE every single one of these characters. the way the author writes each one with such duality, something that makes them undeniably good, something that makes them undeniably bad, and a lot of somethings that make them neither. it's amazing.

this doesn't come as a surprise to anybody who knows me, but my favorite character far and away is soda. i relate to him a lot.

this entire book was incredibly poetic at the least expected times. i never understood what "stay gold ponyboy" meant, but now i finally do, and it's such a meaningful quote. although honestly, i do think there are slightly more impactful quotes, and stay gold is ever so slightly overhyped.

also the whole thing at the end that shows that the outsiders as a book was ponyboy's english project was unexpected, and i honestly really liked it. it gave a new perspective to how it was written and worded, and i really liked that it made the whole thing feel more like ponyboy's story than a story about ponyboy.

anyway, i would 100% recommend this book, especially for someone who's in a reading slump or trying to get into classics!!!

[vellichor-d]

⋆｡°✩ reading log - 7/14/2023 - 4:27 pm

book: the outsiders

author: s.e. hinton

pages: 100-end

[vellichor-d]

⋆｡°✩ reading log - 7/13/2023 - 1:40 pm

book: the outsiders

author: s.e. hinton

pages: 1-100

[vellichor-d]

book review: the light we carry

man, this book took me forever to finish! but that's because i sort of used it as an interlude book. a book to just read leisurely while trying to figure out what to really hunker down on reading. but this book was also an experiment for me: it's the first book i really annotated! i'm trying to find my annotating style, and i'm having a lot of fun with it. annotation really helps me feel more connected to the reading experience.

anyway! let's talk about michelle obama and her amazing second book! i already read her first book, and i adored it, so i had a feeling that this book wouldn't disappoint. i was correct. filled with beautiful description, memorable quotes, entertaining stories, and abrupt and necessary calls to action, the light we carry is an amazing read that's worth every second it took me to read it.

i won't tag spoilers because this is sort of just stuff about her life, but if you don't want to hear any specifics about the book until you read it, i'll add a page break for that purpose!

★★★★☆

i give this book four out of five stars! honestly, it was really close to being a five star read. the only thing that stopped it from getting that perfect score was the fact that sometimes, it got a little repetitive. i think the book could have been about 30 pages shorter and it still would have done everything that it sought out to do.

but michelle's writing is a breath of fresh air. she sounds poised and elegant, even on paper, and though she does use a lot of cliches in her phrasing, they somehow don't sound as tired coming from her because she adds this amazing underlying context to each phrase. she gives it meaning and purpose instead of just saying the words to sound wise. it's amazing.

my favorite thing about this book was all the stories about her real life experiences. one of my favorite things about memoirs is reading about experiences that are so undeniably human, while also being so fantastical in some way that it's hard to believe they aren't fiction. it really reminds me where fiction comes from: real life.

anyway, michelle needs to come out with another book, because i am LIVING for her writing style!!!

[vellichor-d]

⋆｡°✩ reading log - 7/8/2023 - 6:26 pm

book: the light we carry

author: michelle obama

pages: 250-end

[vellichor-d]

⋆｡°✩ reading log - 6/30/2023 - 4:50 pm

book: the light we carry

author: michelle obama

pages: 217-250

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⋆｡°✩ reading log - 6/29/2023 - 9:26 pm

book: the light we carry

author: michelle obama

pages: 188-217

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⋆｡°✩ reading log - 6/28/2023 - 7:56 pm

book: the light we carry

author: michelle obama

pages: 170-188

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⋆｡°✩ reading log - 6/27/2023 - 8:48 pm

book: the light we carry

author: michelle obama

pages: 154-170

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book review: a tree grows in brooklyn

this book, i'll admit, was a bit of a monster. it took me a month to read it, but i spent many an evening curled up in my bed, completely enveloped in the story of francie nolan. the cozy, beautiful style of writing mixed with the events both ordinary and gut-wrenching made the book such a joy to constantly pick up every evening i could.

a tree grows in brooklyn was written by betty smith, and it is a story of the early 1900's, about a girl named francie who lives in brooklyn. the story starts with her as a little girl, and as the book progresses, she grows into a young woman. francie is a thoughtful child, who always has something poignant to say about her circumstances. she observes and notices everything, and her little musings are the biggest reason why this book is so wonderful to me. her brother neely, her mother katie, her father johnny, and everyone else in her large family are immensely enjoyable characters who are just as distinct and interesting as francie herself. through good times and bad, i always found myself rooting for the nolans with every fiber of my being.

(SPOILERS BELOW)

★★★★☆

i give this book four out of five stars. it honestly pains me not to give this book five stars because it was so wonderful, but i can't give a book five stars unless it had no faults. though a tree grows in brooklyn is close to perfection, it isn't devoid of error.

i always find classic stories so invigorating. something about a historical setting, thrilling words and phrases that just aren't used anymore, the perspectives of characters who don't have advanced technology. it's a genre i always come back to, and this story is no different. i just know i'm going to be reading it again and again because of how lovely it is.

the death of johnny nolan completely threw me for a loop. it came along at a point in the story where so much was ordinary that i was convinced that the entire story would follow the same rhythm of beautiful simplicity. this inciting incident added so much more urgency to the story, added so much more pain to these characters who became so dear to me through the mundanity of the first half of the book.

i love francie nolan. she's such a real person, with obvious flaws, and thoughts that aren't always beautiful, but are always interesting. she has a striking maturity that isn't unrealistic, and she was just fun to read about. another character that i enjoyed was katie nolan. though her actions were infinitely frustrating (her favoritism towards neeley made me want to throw my book at the wall multiple times), i always begrudgingly understood her reasoning at the end of each action, just as francie did.

the only thing that's keeping it from those five stars is unfortunately what a lot of these classic books struggle with: dullness. of course, most of the book is wonderful and interesting. there's a reason why i picked it up every time i remembered i had it. but some points were just needlessly wordy (which is a rare thing for me to say), and i occasionally found myself growing bored while reading. it didn't happen often enough for me to consider it a huge issue, but it is something that is keeping me from giving it a perfect five stars. i think annotating the book will make it a lot more interesting for me, and that is what i plan to do in the future, once i have my own copy!

[vellichor-d]

⋆｡°✩ reading log - 6/26/2023 - 9:12 pm

book: a tree grows in brooklyn

author: betty smith

pages: 348-end

[vellichor-d]

⋆｡°✩ reading log - 6/25/2023 - 9:16 pm

book: a tree grows in brooklyn

author: betty smith

pages: 295-348

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⋆｡°✩ reading log - 6/24/2023 - 9:35 pm

book: a tree grows in brooklyn

author: betty smith

pages: 242-295

[vellichor-d]

book review: i'm glad my mom died

i was reading this book while i was on a trip to indiana, and i didn't have any physical books with me, so i was forced to use my phone and read an ebook. i don't like ebooks, but honestly, this book was so good that i wasn't even that upset that it was on an ebook.

it was very heavy, but it was also poignant, poetic, and very educational. i won't talk too much about what happens in the book because it is extremely triggering (i will list trigger warnings below), but what i will say is that it is about the famous jennette mccurdy, the woman who played sam in icarly and sam and cat, and her complicated relationship with food, her acting career, and especially her mom. hence the title. this is a memoir that is mostly very serious, but it definitely has lighter moments and a lot of dry, somewhat dark humor that i personally really enjoyed.

(SPOILERS BELOW)

(trigger warnings -> eating disorders (specifically anorexia, bulimia, and binge eating disorder), physical abuse, mental/emotional abuse, domestic violence, child abuse, body shaming, gaslighting, grooming, explicit discussion of sex, cancer (specifically terminal breast cancer), and death by terminal breast cancer))

★★★★★

i give this book five out of five stars. okay, first of all, i'm not easy to please, so the fact that this book got five stars is pretty crazy. but there's a reason for it. i wasn't bored for a minute while reading this book. i was hooked for every single word. there was never a part that i wanted to go by faster. it was all very sickeningly interesting.

jennette's writing is very succinct while also not being boring, and she knows how to describe things in a way that makes me physically feel what she's going through. all the stories she tells are so unique. i've never read a book that came even close to this level of honesty and vulnerability besides "the distance between us" by reyna grande. it's a gorgeous memoir.

i loved the way that jennette balanced writing from her present hindsight perspective and writing in her oblivious, young perspective. as a reader, i could clearly see the events through the eyes of jennette at both ages, and it was a great way to show how much she has grown since the events she wrote about. i felt terrible for her throughout the book, but i was also in awe because of how her mind had adapted to the terrible situations she was in. it didn't even feel real. i can never watch icarly the same ever again, and honestly, i'm really grateful for that.

i wouldn't want to be one of the oblivious people laughing at jennette's pain. she was very brave to write and publish this book, and i'm definitely going to be picking it up again in the future. hopefully as a physical copy this time!

[vellichor-d]

⋆｡°✩ reading log - 6/18/2023 - 11:30 am

book: i'm glad my mom died

author: jennette mccurdy

pages: 102-145

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⋆｡°✩ reading log - 6/18/2023 - 8:15 am

book: i'm glad my mom died

author: jennette mccurdy

pages: 0-102