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I decided to create a new project with both writing, voicing and painting a story. I’m planning on releasing one every month, hope you enjoy! ^^
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~ Agreeing ~
Somewhere along my path, I agreed to many things which turned me into an internal abuser. I agreed that I wasn’t safe, no matter who I was with, I needed to protect myself because no one else did. I agreed that I wasn’t important, seeing that everyone’s problems were more urgent and life threatening compared to my needs. I agreed to be patient and wait for an eternity, because polite people wait for their turn, even if this means there is nothing left for them when they gather enough courage to ask. I agreed to always be kind to others, because I won’t know when I’ll need them, regardless of how much abuse I receive. I agreed to share the best of me with others, give and you will receive back as much as you gave, whilst simultaneously denying the same giving to myself. I agreed to be selfless, because no one loves selfish people. I agreed I wasn’t wanted, being a nuisance to others I cleaned up after myself, hid my problems, took only the utmost necessary from others. I agreed to making unrealistic sacrifices in order to achieve success. I agreed that I wasn’t smart, because being smart brought more isolation than being made fun of for being dorky. I agreed I was alone, in my sea of wounds and hurts people would tell me to snap out of it or that it wasn’t so hard as I had made it seem. I agreed cheating was the only possible solution for others getting better results when I had tried my best.
I agreed that my best would never be enough.
And so the chase began: searching for perfection, for ways to improve myself, for ways to look better in the eyes of the world. While looking calm on the outside, the bullying going on inside was something no one could see, and what a horrible sight it was. “You’ll amount to nothing! Why are you so stupid and can you PLEASE stop fucking up the life I’m making for us this time?!”
Only I, both abuser and victim, have the power to end it.
I agreed that I couldn’t accept myself, for my whole family could not accept who I wanted to become. I agreed to not be happy, because after happiness comes sadness and if something good happened today it’s almost certain something bad will happen tomorrow. I agreed to letting others hurt me, because they were suffering, because it was my fault, not ever theirs, because I had made them this way, because…
I agreed not to show too much happiness, for that was a dangerous thing to do. I agreed not to trust other human beings, for they were flawed and would eventually hurt me. I agreed that relationships were difficult to keep and that I was the sole responsible for maintaining them.
I agreed to following a society-accepted path, get a standard job, work long hours and be accepted. Let me tell you it didn’t end well, and after that I agreed that I could never be independent and, therefore, would always be a child.
I agreed that I destroy everything around me, I create bad boyfriends, bad working environments, I lose friends. I agreed to being irresponsible and helpless when the best choice I could make for the lives most dear to me was to put them out of their suffering. I agreed to never have another pet again.
Some say the way you view yourself is the way you view the world. My view of the world seems pretty discouraging to try and make a difference. I don’t know where it all started, but I’d like to agree otherwise on some points and to create new more loving agreements.
I agree to share my vulnerabilities.
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I’m in love with this new song from Orla Gartland! <3
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Watercolors: Hummingbird #2
I’m giving this as a birthday present and wanted to use my Holbein and decent watercolor paper. It’s so funny that familiarity with your materials seems to be more important than the quality from the material itself.
I struggled a bit with the wide range of colors and how much to pick up with the brush.
Layering is much easier with Holbein rather than W&N and I love that I could add soft highlights to the wings and belly without affecting the lower layers too much.
Have a nice weekend!
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Phil Dragash - http://phildragash.com - http://lord-phillock.deviantart.com - https://twitter.com/phildragash - https://www.facebook.com/phildragash
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Watercolors: Day 27-30
For the last 4 days of this challenge I realized I’m missing a lot of information on composition and, although I’m ending the challenge earlier, I know the direction I want to go in for my next learning process: understanding how composition works and how I can create visually appealing paintings, illustrations, etc.
This book has taught me so much in terms of watercolors and I can see my progress throughout the days. It was an amazing experience, I feel I want to choose my own studies from now on and continue to work on the basics by coming back to the book for guidance.
I also ended up gifting the elephant to an acquaintance who has a love for elephants. I want to practice being able to detach myself from my art and let it belong to other homes throughout the world.
If you’ve followed me throughout the past month, I want to thank you for being there and hope I’ve inspired you somehow into challenging yourself to do something you love.
I’ll be restarting my writing prompts in May!
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Watercolors: Day 26
Today’s practice was a patience challenge. The goal was to paint a misty jungle and apply all previously learned concepts of depth, hue, values, etc.
The first layer was made wet on wet and I left some areas dry so that the trees could blend in with the mist but still have a certain definition.
For the second layer, it was more about defining darker values to the trees that were closer. At this point I hadn’t prepared enough of each color so I had to spend some time recreating the greens.
I decided to take a break here and consider coming back to it either in the evening or later.
I didn’t get to finish it but I hope to retry this painting in some time, after I’ve become more comfortable with all the basic skills of watercolors.
For the next 4 days I’ll only be posting twice as there will only be two finished paintings at the end.
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How To Turn A Good Idea Into A Good Story
– One thing I think a lot of writers, especially those who haven’t discovered their own process for building their own stories, have a lot of trouble figuring out where to take their idea once it’s in the palm of their hand. Especially when it comes to fiction, figuring out where to start with the plot, characters, themes, etc., can be very confusing. There are a lot of blog posts and answered questions when it comes to starting a story, but I’ve found that in most cases, a very crucial stage in the writing process is overlooked. So now we’re here, and hopefully this post will help you all take your ideas, pick them apart, and turn them into potential. Enjoy!
Find The Value In Your Idea
You may have a perfectly good idea, full of potential to be the next big hit, but one thing that can really kill the growth of a story is when the writer neglects to decide what they want their story to be about. Not as in plot, but in theme and the overall message.
You cannot begin to write a story without figuring out what you’re trying to get across and expect it to be good. A lot of the time, this isn’t mentioned when giving advice because for most seasoned writers and authors, this is pretty commonly understood and after a certain amount of time, you don’t really need to think hard about what you’re trying to convey to the reader. This is because, as you grow and become more experienced in writing stories, the focus shifts from making a technically good story to a meaningful one. This is simply a symptom of growing more skilled as a technical writer and therefore not having to put as much energy and intention into something you know how to do regardless.
There are multiple ways to do this, as there are multiple ways for an idea to be born. Maybe you start with an idea for a plot and then move on to finding the message you can assign to it, or you start with an issue you’re really passionate about and develop a plot you feel will raise awareness of it in a narrative manner that people will connect with, or even starting with an experience in your own life and deciding to expand on it in a narrative that will share your own personal growth with the reader. There are so many ways you can go with this, but no matter how your idea is sprouted, you need to find and outline the overall message before you focus on anything else.
The themes of your story are supposed to shine through your characters and your world and your plot, so you have to figure out what the message is first so you can effectively entwine it into the various elements of your story. What do you want to teach the reader? What unique perspective are you offering? How will the plot and the context of this story convey your message to the reader in a way they can connect to?
Figure Out What Will Push Your Story
In most cases, there are about four different things that can drive your story. They all have a place in your story, whether they’re what really pushes the plot and keeps the story interesting, but for most stories, there’s one that is at the tippy top of that pyramid.
Characters
Conflict
World
Symbolism/Representation
These four factors are all what make up a story, but it’s very difficult to completely explore every single aspect in one story. Yes, you have to touch on all four in order to have a developed story, but it’s practically impossible to have a fully-developed complex world with totally transparent character development as well as a colorful conflict that explores many themes and represents many different issues. Even in a series of books, each book usually focuses on developing one or two aspects at a time.
Once you’ve decided which one or two will actually push your story along, then you can begin the planning.
Develop Your Idea
As mentioned before, you do have to spend some time on each of the 4 aspects, which means research and experimentation. These two things will really bring your vision into the story and help you explore all of your options.
Research
This is where you explore all of the things you are considering your story. If you’re thinking of making it a period piece, this is where you’d research the logistics of that being possible. If your idea is one for a fantasy/science fiction story, then you might research ancient mythology or astronomy or theories, etc.
Experimentation
This is where you do some experimental writing to see if you have enough information or development in order to start writing your story. If you find you keep running into plot holes or find you don’t have information you need, then you go back to the research phase.
Now That You’ve Done Your Research…
It’s time to get writing! Your idea will only become a story if you actually write it. You’ve got the kinks worked out and the background researched and your idea developed (except for that little bit that can only come with writing). Now, you can start writing.
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Watercolors: Day 25
And we’ve reached the last section of this book! Today will be about painting a wide landscape.
I was able to apply some techniques learned in the previous weeks for the sunset, dropping some yellow hints while the sky was wet.
It’s very important to take hue/values into account when painting a landscape like this. That’s what will determine how realistic the painting looks and will make it possible for the viewer to identify which objects are closer and further away.
A good first attempt, I still have a long way to go with landscapes!
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Watercolors: Day 24
Today was the first day I really didn’t feel like painting. I wasn’t sure if I was too tired or just procrastinating, so I decided to do a smaller version of the daunting exercise.
Sometimes the hardest thing you’ll do all day is place the pencil on the paper and start a line, things will move on from there afterwards.
I sketched both today’s and tomorrow’s exercises in the evening, leaving the painting for a time when I’m not so stressed out.
During this piece I noticed some issues, namely having difficulty with knowing how much water I have on my brush and using higher values of color, not sure if this has to do with the size of the painting or the fact that I’m using dried paints.
Painting the trees in layers from lightest to darkest was a really good exercise to study volume.
After adding details to each tree, the final steps were adding some more foliage and painting the remaining leaves and vines.
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Watercolors: Day 23
Today’s painting was an important lesson on color theory. When you think about an elephant, the first color that comes to mind is gray and that’s usually a watered down version of black. However, in watercolors, black tends to be quite opaque, but when mixed with another warm/cool color, it makes the painting a lot more interesting!
I began by sketching the elephant lightly on the paper.
Then, it was time to add some color to it, darkening the sections that are covered/further away.
I’m still not 100% convinced about this paper as when I ran my brush through the eye, the pigment started to lift and I thought it would all go wrong there.
To attain this gray I added a bit of Burnt Sienna to the black and, even though it’s still gray, it looks a much more interesting gray than just watered down black.
Seven more days to go!
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Watercolors: Day 22
Oh backgrounds, I didn’t miss you at all >_<
Even though the average time for today’s exercise was 45 minutes to an hour, it took me roughly two hours until I felt comfortable enough to stop.
After applying the first layer (which was considerably darker than intended) the cacti aren’t very visible in the photo.
This time I used the Langton 300g hot press paper, and out of the three I got this week, this one is my least favorite for the simple reason that the pigment sticks very easily to the paper, making it hard to remove or even move around.
I’ll want to test it again with transparent watercolors as I used a few that tend to stain or are grainy in general.
Need to learn how to blend the bottom of those little hills!
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Watercolors: Day 21
Today I was finally able to use paint out of a tube, since my Ivory Black had been in the drawer ever since I had bought it.
I started as usual with a sketch, and after applying the first layer I completely forgot to keep track of my progress.
It was a very intense session of painting quickly while the layers were wet at first, then figuring out the correct values (I applied two or three extra layers since I went too shy and it looked very light)
At some point I applied black directly from the tube. It makes a big difference using tube paint instead of from dry pans for very saturated colors. However, the beak does look disproportional in color when it relates to the rest of the painting, it would’ve been better to go a little lighter there.
In the end, the white feathers at the bottom went a little too dark for my liking, but it was really good practice to understand how light/dark I need to go for such a dark subject.
This painting was done using the W&N Cottman set and Van Gogh’s Ivory Black tube on Canson Aquarelle 300g paper.
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Watercolors: Day 20
We’re back to painting roses. This time I tried going a bit bolder in my darker tones in addition to using a new WC paper for me: Canson Montval 300g.
The sketch started as usual, it was very easy to erase from this paper and I sketched lightly enough not to leave dents.
The next step was to get lost in time painting each petal. While I usually had problems with my old paper to keep it wet, this one needed only a very small amount of water and stayed wet for a longer period of time, which let me work on the petals without having one brush on each hand to create smooth gradients.
It’s a very forgiving paper as the mistakes can be quite easily lifted by using a brush with clean water and picking up the pigment with a paper towel.
The stem and leaves are something I need to work on but after a full day that was the best I could do with the time I had.
I hope you’ve been enjoying this journey with me so far, say tuned for 10 more days!
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