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[vase-sucker-and-the-vain-lover]

This is a Mackenzie appreciation post

Our mister Mackenzie

A marvellous guy

Has many descriptors

Not one of them shy

He’s queen of all cunt

And master of slay

The goddess of fierce

To whom we obey

We’ve seen him sing love shack

We’ve seen him kiss boys

Our dear Big Mac's presence 

Is one of life’s joys

It’s really amazing

I don’t understand

How he serves both a look

And the old witch of sand 🥪

With a beanie head torch

And a flaming red mane

To miss him in a crowd

You would be insane

Hats off to mackenzie

Our faithful deejay

Plays music so good

You can't walk away

He’s the life of the party

A reckoning force

Whatever's his secret?

It must be the sauce

So if you want a good time

Give the expert a call

To spice up your evening

0800 MEATBALL

He lights up the world

He lights up the bus

He glows so damn bright

He lights lighting plus

My dear gay best friend

And love of my life

In a lesbian universe

Mackenzie’s my wife

And when the night’s over

When the party is through

There’s a special bare mattress

In the hall just for you 💕

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how much wood could a wage cuck tuck if a wage cuck could tuck wood?

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Have we told you boys the story

The lovely tale of old

Of the bowl that graced our roof

And the fortunes it foretold 🔮

So sweet so green so sticky

And more condensed than milk 🥛

The Stacey that we prayed to

Would make your whole world tilt

With a hint of pomplemousse la Croix

And an aftertaste of pumice 🌋

The vase we always sucked on

Contained sir Danny’s hummus

It had been hunted down

By voyagers like us

On our dazzling pink-wheeled steed 🛼

And our hunger for green grass🌱

Her size would make your eyes pop out 👁

Her prideful mounding lump 🍨

Could be described as bulbous 🍚

Or a pregnant professor plump🫄🏽

Her beauty had betwixt us

Her density renouned

The vainest of my lovers

Her thickness would astound

So many lives that cone did touch

With her eternal flame

An artefact of time now passed

Our favourite Pirie game

— the Vase Sucker and the Vain Lover

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What do these people have in common??:

Mr thank you

Nana sandy

Night n day man

The sorbet pooper

Sam the builder

Jacob

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Sorbet

Sorberry

Sorberet

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When your sorbet tells you a joke

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Mackenzie change the CD! I can’t handle any more meatloaf

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My mugshot if falling asleep on the stairs ever became a crime

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PeepingToms

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Tina mango has been within you all along mackenzie

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Me when I hear Bic runga

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Like a sausage in headlights

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Thanks SpongeBob, you redeemed sexy lighters

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Mackenzie What outfit do u wanna wear to the party?the That's so Clit, or That's so fag ?

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The papas pizza games were propaganda

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Gone are the days of passive consumption... the vase sucker and the vain lover have a newly found hobby ... bestowing golden stars to golden establishments. For free, we are sharing our astral insight and wisdom to curious commoners. Introducing our new cousin... the vain muncher.