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the signs and how they're being problematic at ur house party
aries: keeps rearranging your decorations and changing the song
taurus: called the police
gemini: took their clothes off
cancer: locked themselves in your room and no one knows what their problem is
leo: wants to fight everyone
virgo: giving head in the bathroom
libra: trying to sell weed to everyone
scorpio: threw a cigarette butt into the hedge out front and now its on fire
sagittarius: on the fucking roof
capricorn: has to pee every 3 minutes
aquarius: doing lines of cocaine off the kitchen counter
pisces: making out with your dad
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Goddess of fucking up probably
#the selfies will never end#I'll probably post some every couple of days tbh#me#selfie#just wait until my wifi starts to work tbh#selfies every damn day selfie summer
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The kinky stuff
Friend: I think I may be into some really kinky stuff.
Me: Really? Like what?
Friend: Like having my ass slapped....but like not too hard. That's so weird, right? God, I'm into weird stuff.
Me: *looks at my nails with increasing interest* .....uhhhhhm
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vine
it seems like today isn鈥檛 your time to shine friend
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you know whats not fair
all my friends have soft bellies and my belly is not nearly as soft
i mean its still pretty soft but not nearly as soft as theirs
i want answers
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