vanderwoods3ns

[vanderwoods3ns]

@ad1er ; and yet there was but one woman to him, and that woman was the late Irene Adler, of dubious and questionable memory.

[vanderwoods3ns]

also on this day in 2009 in the van der woodsen household watcha say played over everyones secrets being exposed over thanksgiving dinner and i think its important we all remember the season 3 thanksgiving episode

[vanderwoods3ns]

also on this day in 2009 in the van der woodsen household watcha say played over everyones secrets being exposed over thanksgiving dinner and i think its important we all remember the season 3 thanksgiving episode

[vanderwoods3ns]

happy thanksgiving, my sisters and i have hidden 200 tiny plastic ducks throughout our parents house while they're away for the holiday

[vanderwoods3ns]

" ... what?" she blinks at him, fingers detaching from his sleeve as serena looks at the guy she had stopped apropos of probably apparently nothing. luckily she's got a head for faces ( has to, in her world. well - - - their world, really, but far different circles ; the gotham elite and the new york elite are different things, and never really cross ) and recognizes who she had happened to stop. small world. big enough that most of her friends - sans blair, who has fawned over a picture or two - wouldn't recognize him as bruce wayne, but still - - - small.

serena laughs a little, sheepish, as she lets her hand drop to her side. "i mean, sure, i'll totally take a ticket. bruce, right? my friend dan really likes your band. his dad is sort of a, uh, former rockstar, so he has pretty good taste." serena hasn't gone to one of the shows despite being invited. awkward, what with the whole being invited by her ex aspect.

"but i did stop you for a totally different reason," she rocks back on the heels of her boots and smiles, head tipping and purposefully-messy hair shifting with the movement. her bag, slung casually over a shoulder, is rifled through with one hand as the other gesticulates as she speaks, "and i know that it's totally gonna sound like a, like, creepy-stranger-trying-to-steal-your-phone bit, but my phone is dead and i was wondering if i could use yours to call dan - the friend - and tell him where i am. here," finally she finds her blackberry at the bottom of her bag and turns it to show the black, unlit screen, "as proof that i'm not lying. and collateral, if you want to hold onto it while i use yours - i mean, if you're okay with it."

and what if she bats her eyelashes a little even as she smiles and laughs softly as she offers her phone to him in one chipped-manicured hand? a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do, and she's sort of stranded in jersey right now.

M. / can you stop and listen to me for a second ?

the smell of coffee wafts through courtyard ; the second youngest wayne heir is up early - in fact he hasn't slept. there was something to be said for princeton , nj. the idea that gotham was hours away , that he himself didn't draw attention on campus. this was about academics , about being the best , and for the first time he wasn't examined.

for the first time he wasn't some exotic butterfly that was pinned to a canvas while wings were pinned and examined closely. there was no news , no comments about the lack of leadership he demonstrated.

there's been news from gotham , lucius had been so kind to keep in touch with bruce since his summer internship knowing that inevitability that power would one day be in the hands of a young man who seemed lost , swallowed up by grief as there were constant reminders of what exactly had been lost ; littered upon every street corner in gotham.

carrying a paper by teeth , and balancing a coffee that begs for creamer he stands for a few moments before spying a table and making his way to it. though there is the interruption of thoughts , someone yanking upon rolled up button up shirt as he then places coffee down on table , and removes paper from teeth.

' yeah , no i can get you tickets if you want them ... ' assuming that that's indeed what she wanted , it's early - he's tired , and just played a show the previous night. forgive him. there's the swell of pride , confidence perhaps that he did in fact , start something new. that here he wasn't JUST : bruce wayne billionaire orphan - here he was so much more. ' i mean ? if you really wanna go - ' a smile shot in her direction , eyes betray - exhaustion rims. ' then yeah i can help ' /@vanderwoods3ns

[vanderwoods3ns]

bottoms (2023) sentence starters.

we've looked like shit for years, and we are developing.

we're finally hot. at least, according to me.

nobody's going to want to fuck me this year, just like nobody wanted to fuck me last year or the year before.

i've been building tension.

i'm playing the long game with her, okay?

what the fuck happened to her?

that made me so sad. what?

i don't need this negative, really sad attitude. please.

what the fuck are you wearing?

nobody hates us for being gay. everyone hates us for being gay, untalented, and ugly.

oh my god, she ate shit is what happened.

she ate literal shit? what the fuck?

or did you get beat up again?

yeah, we went to juvie.

i don't want to say it, but we're fucked!

why do you always have to flirt with other women?

it doesn't count if they're not in high school.

would you like a safety ride?

i'm sorry that i looked at mrs. reilly and lightly grazed her left tit, alright?

don't talk to me, you ugly bitch, okay? i do not talk to girls in overalls.

okay, i might be ugly, but these aren't overalls.

you're being really mean right now.

i heard you, like, beat up my boyfriend last night?

maybe i SHOULD buy a gun.

what? don't buy a gun. nobody said buy a gun.

guys do that all the time, okay? that's the point of feminism.

that's not the point of feminism. you also don't care about feminism.

why would you lie to me?

so you killed a girl?

i know how to take a punch.

i was thinking, if they were coming at me with, like, swords and, like, knives, and like, guns and stuff, and you taught me how to punch like that, then i wouldn't die.

can i be honest? you're a person whose not coping with what's going on.

sometimes, when you have a new hobby, don't show up.

that's my favorite way to be an ally. you just say you're doing something, and then you don't do any of those things.

my dad left me, and i'm incredibly punctual.

i'm gonna finally reverse-stalk my stalker.

i'll be able to kill my stepdad.

i love talking about my trauma.

i literally jack off after every single therapy session.

yeah, well, all women are hot to me.

we had to just, like, fight people, sometimes to the death.

i still hear their screams at night, and that guilt will probably shackle me forever.

i realize now, i don't have to be that person anymore. i don't have to just let things happen to me.

i just get the hot people confused. jesus.

i can't answer that question, because i don't know how to read.

no, i would never cheat on you again, okay?

what about, like, a bomb? like a super small bomb. they're super easy to make.

yeah, let's do terrorism.

don't get distracted, 'cause we can be fined like $2 for this.

i really value when people use violence and raise their voices for me. it's actually one of my love languages.

no, leave the skin on his face, will you?

i'm not a fucking idiot. i just look like this.

man, i knew women were evil.

all of the blame just goes on me, then? like, none of this can be traced back to you at all?

i didn't want to do this from the beginning. you know that.

does it even matter? do you even care? do you actually like her? do you care about anyone other than yourself?

do you care about anyone other than yourself?

just find some other girl to jack off to and do nothing about.

if you don't wanna borrow firearms, then why are you here?

sorry, people didn't know you're gay?

i never had many friends, and that's sad. and as i've gotten older in this world, it's just gotten more sad.

okay, well, obviously, why would you lay it out like that? because it sounds insane.

i'm sorry for saying that you have no friends really loud in front of all of your friends.

i'm sorry for being an asshole a lot of the time. most of the time. all of the time.

that is obviously a red flag. are we not reading that as a red flag? that's crazy.

oh, now you want a bomb.

in your fucking dreams, which you don't deserve to have. when you sleep, it should just be like, total darkness.

i do want to say... i feel like you killed that guy.

we killed a lot of guys. we'll process it later.

you didn't have to start a whole fight club just to date me. you could have just talked to me.

[vanderwoods3ns]

Barbara Palvin || 80th Venice Film Festival

[vanderwoods3ns]

serena pauses, blinks, something a little hurt flashing through her eyes for a brief moment. does he think she's so careless that she would put him at risk? in danger? "for both of us." she says while pushing the door open, "we'll be quiet as mice, and it's not like we're here to vandalize the art or anything nefarious."

barely is still more than enough for him; evidenced in the way he stands, staring hard, at the keys and now the unlocked door. "no big deal for you, or no big deal for both of us?" it comes out the way he means it, but he still winces at the delivery.

[vanderwoods3ns]

Reese Witherspoon as Elle Woods in LEGALLY BLONDE

[vanderwoods3ns]

no bc,,, bee ilysm this blog has got me thinking about blair again now screams don’t mind meee

BLAIR BLAIR BLAIR BLAIR........ 👀👀👀serena and blair? they do besties better than anyone

[vanderwoods3ns]

something something serena's self-destructive cycles something something lily's self-destructive cycles. thinking about how much lily tried to avoid acting like her mother and began doing so and how serena tries to avoid acting like her mother and began acting like her mother did at her age etc etc

[vanderwoods3ns]

@lcrk said ; "it could happen to anyone."

"you're just saying that to be nice," serena counters with a smile and a soft laugh even as she dabs coffee from her shirt, "still - thank you. for the reassurance and the napkin." said napkin is momentarily held aloft but then she returns to using it to try and leech the drink from the absurdly expensive fabric of her top with a smile. "i promise i'm not always a total klutz."

[vanderwoods3ns]

@stamour said : "I read a tweet about a new yorker article about you."

"oh my god," serena's cheeks flare pink and she laughs, turning her head so her warm face presses against her shoulder and her hair falls like a curtain to hide her face, "well, i'm glad you didn't read the actual article. talk about humiliating." it had been better than the tabloids, sure, but a piece about new york's old money party girl had been quite a moment. "i can give you the finer points, if you want them, but i would recommend not reading it. it made gossip girl look benevolent. i don't know who i pissed off at the new yorker but ..."

[vanderwoods3ns]

@desuperno said ; I have a feeling you'll follow your heart. - from teej!

"thanks," her voice is a touch scratchy as hands are scrubbed from her eyes to her cheeks. smears of eyeliner and mascara litter her face and serena smiles despite red-rimmed eyes, "but i don't know if i can even trust my heart anymore. all it seems to lead to is more heartache." serena pauses and then buries her face in her hands, "oh, god, that was so melodramatic."

[vanderwoods3ns]

#VANDERWOODS3NS. watch out, s. just because you finally tell the truth doesn’t mean there won’t be consequences. spotted : independent & selective serena van der woodsen, by bee. x

[vanderwoods3ns]

𝐊𝐍𝐈𝐕𝐄𝐒 𝐎𝐔𝐓

trigger warnings apply, adjust as needed.

the police have a few more questions.

how are you doing?

it's lots of this and not knowing what to do next.

you're part of this family.

how you doing, kiddo?

I thought you should have been there.

I was outvoted.

he was so hairy, and I've dated italian guys!

are you leaving?

everyone idolizes their dad, right?

where do you come up with that?

why are we doing all of this again?

I read a tweet about a new yorker article about you.

you're famous!

I know who you are.

I read your profile in the new yorker and I found it delightful.

why are you here?

it's just not the same.

are you baiting me?

that's where the real money is.

this is not how I wanted to have this conversation.

you tell her, or I will.

that's none of your business.

I don't know how this mix-up happened.

please, you don't understand.

I know it will hurt, but it's all for the best.

my mind's made up.

just the thought of lying makes me puke.

I feel like I shouldn't be here.

it makes no damn sense.

we are not breaking tradition on my birthday!

you really love drama, huh?

you wanna do drugs?

you know, this is an interesting and efficient method of murder.

I need to write this down.

listen to me!

I thought I heard something.

what do you want me to do?

you've got to be kidding me.

I keep waiting for the big reveal.

those two things don't even conflate.

don't point at me!

I'm warning you!

financially, I'd like to help you out.

I stayed hoping to speak to you a little bit more.

I trust your kind heart.

how about it, watson?

you do as I say and everything will be just fine, I promise.

sweet beans!

what is this? what's this arrangement?

it's funny you're here at all.

why are you even bothering?

we gotta do this more often.

this might be the best thing that could ever happen to you.

nothing good is ever easy.

eat shit!

what do we have here?

this can't be legal.

you little bitch!

did you know about this?

were you in on this from the beginning?

I totally understand what you must be feeling right now.

okay, seriously though, what the hell?

it's the only thing that makes sense.

[name], tell me everything.

did you just google that?

I suspect foul play.

I don't care if I go to jail.

you've come this far, let me help you go all the way.

you should do whatever you think is right.

I won't let that happen.

how do you know all this stuff?

[name], do you hear me?

do you regret helping me yet?

this is going well.

I feel like I swallowed bees.

I couldn't do this without you.

that was the dumbest car chase of all time.

I don't know what you want.

we have to figure it out, right here, right now.

you did this!

you won't get away with this!

this will tie everything up.

you're not much of a detective, are you?

you make a pretty lousy murderer.

perhaps we deserve each other.

you've always been good to me.

that was certainly not what I was expecting at all.

why did you hire me?

you can't be that crazy.

that's some heavy duty conjecture.

you are guilty of nothing but a few amateur theatrics.

are you back again already?

this is stupid with two o's.

you have not a shred of evidence.

in for a penny, in for a pound.

I knew you were guilty as shit.

don't you come near me!

I'm going to say this just to you.

you think I'm not going to fight to protect my home?

oh shut up!

yeah, I killed them.

what do you got on me?

you'll see just how much hell I can wreak on your life.

I have a feeling you'll follow your heart.

[vanderwoods3ns]

Barbara Palvin on Instagram.