vampiricgaz

[vampiricgaz]

honestly same. His hair is too perfect, it’s what drew me in

[vampiricgaz]

I think what I love most about Chreon isn’t even based on their dynamic- or potential dynamic, in canon nor fanon- it’s the implications of what that relationship would mean for two characters I love so deeply.

Leon had any semblance of a normal life ripped away from him at 21. For 26 long years (assuming he’s active to present day), he’s been deprived of human connection. Of autonomy. He’s been a puppet for the DSO since his first day as a bright-eyed, bushy-tailed rookie cop. For 26 long years, the woman he loves has been just out of reach, kept apart by their conflicting allegiances and fate, time and time again, forcing them to walk separate paths that just can’t ever seem to converge.

Assuming you ship Serrenedy, think about how he watched someone he’d come to love, come to cherish, die in front of him. Assuming you ship Nivanfield, think about how Chris is one of the only people in Leon’s sphere that can understand that pain firsthand.

Losing Piers canonically forced Chris to confront a lot of deep seated feelings and fears. We see that in the way he tries to connect with Jill after being under Wesker’s control (namely the conversation they had in Death Island). Losing Piers became a central point for Chris’ psyche. It permanently altered the way he thinks, the way he acts, the way he reflects- and who better understands that than Leon?

And then you have Vendetta, and you can see just how monumental of an impact Leon’s relationship with Chris has on him. (And Rebecca, of course- not to discredit my girl !!) But from Vendetta to Death Island, you get to see their care for one another blossom- we get to see how it changes Leon for the better, how it takes him from his lowest point, to one of his highest (at least, that we’ve seen)- since his damn rookie days in 1998. They’re good for each other, they’re so damn good for each other.

I just love the idea of Leon Kennedy and Chris Redfield getting a fucking break. Even if it’s just for the duration of their time together on a day-to-day basis. If it’s an hour, or a few days of reprieve- I like the idea that they get to bask in domesticity, in normalcy, that they’d spent a majority of their lives being denied.

No matter who you ship them with respectively (although Cleon admittedly creates a rather complicated dynamic), you can find traces of those relationships within Chreon. You can see how their dynamics- platonic or romantic, past or present- shaped them into the people they are. You can see who, along the way, helped to develop their relationship, directly or inadvertently. I love it !! They’re so good together !! They bring out the best in one another.

TLDR; I just really like Chreon. In my mind, they’ve retired and have a comfortable life somewhere away from the action. They’re old, and they’re happy. Just like they should be.

[vampiricgaz]

Just wanted to remind everyone that Chris can canonically pick Leon up and throw him across the room.

[vampiricgaz]

[vampiricgaz]

[vampiricgaz]

Visual rappresentation of me trying to find good ftm!reader fanfictions about my favourite characters (there is none)

[vampiricgaz]

This is a convo I had with Embry @embry-garrick about Soft Sub Gaz that I'll probably write a fic ab this after my exam ends. This is just my rambling

CW: Mentions of toxic relationships, Gaz experiencing a healthy relationship, slight NSFW at the end.

You meeting Gaz at a bar. Gaz had been freshly dumped by his ex, met the dude with some chick his ex was cheating on him with at the same party, and is just trying to get drunk. He has his standards so low he just wants to fuck and forget the night and his entire past relationship.

But also imagine being the bouncer who then gets flirted by drunk Gaz, saying how you two should go to his place as your shift is ending. You usually wouldn't fuck around with drunk people like this, but he looks like he needs someone to talk to so you take him back to his place as he's too drunk to get back on his own and you don't want him getting robbed or worse.

And Gaz in his drunken stupor tries to touch you up in the car, but you shoot him down. So Gaz is a bit hurt but still thinks he's gonna score some mindless bliss. So you lead him to the door and Gaz lets you in, thinking it's for sex, but you just sit him down on his bed and get him some water, telling him to offer again when he's sober and you're just there to listen if he needs it.

And Gaz ends up kinda crying about his relationship in his drunken stupor, probably passing out on top of you. Come morning he's waking up with the WORST hangover ever and only when he sees your phone number on a napkin on his bedside table next to a bottle of water and headache medication does he remember the fucking embarrassing night. He just lies in bed wanting it to swallow him whole at the thought of how he acted.

But then he calls you to meet up and apologize for the night. You two meet up at a coffee shop and what starts as a somewhat awkward conversation turns into like, you two spending 3-4 hours there just chatting. Gaz laughing at an unexpected joke and then wondering why his heart is beating so fast and feels like it's in his stomach.

Like it's not the frantic drumming his heart would do when he and his ex would fuck, that was similar to what it felt being in the battlefield. Being with you makes his heart beat in a fast but different way, like a bunch of cicadas are buzzing in his chest.

Him not used to them fancy dates without sex at the end looking at you weirdly when, after a date he prepared probably too long for, you walk him to his door and don't do more but a kiss on the cheek cause you can see how his body subconsciously gets more and more uncomfortable and tense with each step you two take towards the door.

But also, imagine soft sub Gaz getting ready to go back from his leave, feeling very uncomfortable thinking about leaving without telling you (Not to mention fearing getting cheated on while he's off shore) so you two meet up at the same coffee shop and he tells you that he's going back into duty. And his mind is kinda blown when, after another 3-4 hours of just random chatting, you end up driving him to the airport and kiss his forehead goodbye

Gaz accidentally telling the lads about you, and it only takes a few clever questions from Soap before Gaz is just full on gushing about you. But he vehemently states you two aren't together, you two are just... well he doesn't know what you two are, but you two aren't having sex, so it can't be boyfriends. Buuuuut he also spends too long of the time he has for sleep texting with you, and lowkey waits for the good morning text when you finally wake up.

Gaz periodically sending you sexy photos in his uniform (he's a good looking man, he knows it, and his exes all went wild for the soldier look and he won't admit it but he's scared of losing your interest) and you do say he looks hot but also ask him just to send you a selfie, just a picture of his face so you know he's still alive. And overtime he ends up sending more random selfies where he definitely doesn't look his best then those sexy photos he used to send his exes. Or you just send him some random things that remind you of him throughout his deployment.

Gaz being at that half giddy half scared stage where he wonders if you'll be waiting for him at the airport (He knows you said you would and you keep your word, but, again, his exes lied all the time) and him being surprised when you're there with those big signs with his name on it like some cliche romance movie.

And when you drive him home, you don't just drop him off and skip- no. You treat him like a kin; full five course meal of home cooked food, candlelight dinner and all, then a bubble bath that ends up with him giggling at the bath bombs shaped like donuts. And then when he's nice and relaxed you lay him down on the bed to give him a massage and shit you're good at it — Got him melting into the bed and dopey brained in minutes.

Oh and Gaz feels like he HAS to repay you with sex, it's not like his ex did anything for him for free without wanting something in return. But you're just comfortable laying down with him in the bed and watching the movie. I can definitely imagine him deciding to try this 'not toxic sex life' thing by just, while you two are cuddled up watching a movie, just lazily kissing you instead of trying to sneak a grope at your junk. Just Gaz kissing your temple or cheek and feeling light hearted when you turn your head to reciprocate.

Gaz wanting to try some lingerie for you but he's unsure - his ex always hated the idea, thought Gaz was supposed to be the dominant manly one cause he's the soldier. But he still tries it, even goes out to buy a nice pair of lingerie (says it's for his gf when he goes to buy it) and takes hours trying to decide if he should send the photo or nat. Chooses to send you one regardless and then turns his phone off cause he's kinda scared to see what you'll say. Then he's wonderfully surprised when he turns the phone on cause the curiosity is eating him alive, and finds all of your messages just complementing it.

Also Gaz who gets kinda bothered that you're not as demanding of sex as his ex was, that there's no 'passion' (in his eyes anyway, he's just not used to not being slapped around in the first five minutes of sex) in the bedroom so he thinks you're not into him or something. So he tries to purposely deny sex so you get pent up, like purposely sending you revealing pictures of himself but when you get home saying he's too tired or something

And he keeps getting more and more annoyed and has this tight bad feeling in his chest when you honor his words and don't engage after he says he's tired, in his mind it's like you don't find him attractive at all.

And like, imagine waking up in the middle of the night and he's slowly jerking off. You ask if he wants some help, but he acts a brat and says no but continues to stroke himself. You say you need to talk cause you don't understand why he keeps doing this and then not committing to have sex.

And it turns into a teary confession session but Kyle's so horny and pent up cause it didn't feel right jerking off without you there so you end up talking him through the masturbation session and when I say it's the hardest he's ever cum in his life (up to that point) I mean it.

[vampiricgaz]

This one is for all my Gaz enjoyers out there

(GN, no mentions of AGAB or appearance other than the fact that reader has hair. This fic is pretty all over the place with capitalization bc it started off as a drabble and got way out of hand bc the Gaz brainrot is chronic)

anyway

you’ve heard of “doing my boyfriend’s hair” or “teaching my boyfriend about skincare” but as someone whose hair and skin routine consists of whatever shampoo smells nice and a bottle of CeraVe face wash i’ve been thinking about the exact opposite. Like-

I think that Gaz knows a good deal about hair and skin stuff. I hc that he has sisters, both older and younger, and he learned a lot just from living with them. His mom and dad often enlisted him to assist during wash day, mostly by retrieving whatever products and supplies they asked for, so he learned a lot about hair-care. He also experimented with a few different hairstyles before he had to cut it short for work, and he had acne in high school/secondary school, which his sisters helped him with by showing him how to properly take care of his skin.

All of this is to say that he has an immaculate hair and skin routine. The process is calming to go through, makes him feel nice and refreshed, and gives him gorgeous baby smooth skin and beautiful hair because of it, so there are no downsides.

so when he sleeps over at your place for the first time and asks to borrow your moisturizer, he is SHOCKED AND APPALLED when you look at him confused and go “uh…i don’t have any?” starts acting like there’s a crisis.

“What about a face mask? lotion? serum?!? CLEANSER?!!?”

You stare at him for a solid ten seconds before slowly holding out a bar of soap, and he gives you a look that says “you’re lucky i love you.”

—————

The following day finds you at Kyle’s flat, standing in front of his bathroom counter and staring at all his skincare products with more than a little trepidation.

“There’s, uh…a lot of stuff here.”

He chuckles, stands behind you and wraps his arms around your waist before resting his chin on your shoulder. “We’re not gonna use all of it, baby. Just a few things. Trust me, I know what i’m doing. C’mon, shower first, then we’ll start.”

He makes sure the water is warm enough and gives your ass a playful pat as you step into the shower, following close behind you. He had you bring your hair products over, so he helps you out with them, and with some guidance, you condition his hair in return (something something, ‘shampooed earlier this week,’ something something ‘natural oils,’) honestly you’re not paying too much attention to his explanation about maintaining his hair, because you’re incredibly busy staring at his VERY kissable lips while he talks, as well as watching the water cascade down his body. You’ll ask him about it later when he has more clothes on, you decide.

You like to think you did a pretty good job despite your thirst slight distraction though, because while you gently work the conditioner into his hair, he leans his head back and appears to be going into a trance; one which he only snaps out of when you call his name and inform him that you’d actually rinsed the conditioner out minutes ago.

Once the two of you are warm and dry, he gives you one of his shirts and some pajama pants to wear before sitting you on his lap at the table, your arms wrapped securely around his waist.

“Just sit back and relax, sweets, I got this. We’re gonna start with one of these lil’ oil absorbing wipes…”

“I washed my face in the shower, Kyle, I doubt my skin has had time t- wait. All of that came from my SKIN?”

“This is nothin’ compared to the peel-off mask i’m gonna help you with next…hold still, I don’t wanna get it in your hair-”

“But it’s cold! And the smell is making my eyes water, and I look ridiculous, like I fell face first into a swamp-“

“Don’t worry, babe, you’re the cutest swamp creature in the world. Now sit still and let it dry, will you? You can pick a youtube video to watch while we wait…”

Twenty minutes or so later and you’re rubbing your cheeks, marveling about how soft and smooth you are while your boyfriend tries to bat your hands away so that he can put some aloe vera gel on your skin for you.

Also just a little PSA: the only hair routine i’m familiar with is my own, and while I made an effort to do my research, I might have gotten some things wrong as I don’t have any irl experience when it comes to caring for different hair types. If anyone who has textured hair or knows more about it notices any inaccuracies, pls send an ask or leave a comment and i’ll edit this piece accordingly :3 I love you my little goobers! U are all beautiful! MWAH

[vampiricgaz]

It's finally here!!

It's available for both Windows and Mac

Thank you for @melancholic-thing @little-shit-with-zero-control for being the beta tester, and thank you for the cover inspiration too. You guys were so kind ^^

(This game was based on my own fic, so if you don't want to download the game, you can read it here)

[vampiricgaz]

Celebration .

𝐢. GAZ x MALE READER

— FILE DEBRIEF : Hurt/Comfort General Audience MLM/MLFTM Creator Chose not to use Archive Warnings One-shot - File completion 100%

What a coincidence it was that the whole Task Force’s leave landed in June this year. No one hadn’t even remembered what this month was till they all landed back home via plane. And I mean— who could blame them when their whole career held the weight on their shoulders to save lives and make sure a tragedy is only remembered by the few who were qualified enough to be deemed worthy of such information. But soon the whole Task force had been acknowledged of this information.

WOULD YOU LIKE TO CONTINUE ?

𝐢. YOU HAVE CHOSEN TO ENTER THE PDF AT YOUR OWN RISK. BE CAUTIOUS, AND IF YOU LIKE THE PDF AHEAD PLEASE SUPPORT YOUR ARCHIVIST BY REBLOGING AND/OR LEAVING KUDOS.

CELEBRATION.PDF

AO3.PDF — MASTERLIST.PDF

@ 9-istol — FILE PDF. THIS IS A MLM ARCHIVE ONLY. IF YOU ARE NOT MASC/MALE-ALIGNED PLEASE EXCUSE YOURSELF FROM THIS ARCHIVE. THANK YOU.

[vampiricgaz]

TW: Kissing, ftm reader, top surgery, mentions of toys (not used), mlm, making out but no sex, reader has bottom growth. May contain spelling mistakes

You missed your boyfriend, so much that your thoughts drove to another route as you eyed your box with your's and his favourite toys, not to mention the lingerie stored in a small white bag that was waiting to be used.

You were layed on your shared bed with out a shirt on and only wearing boxers. You traced your surgery scars that, by now, where almost invisible, and traced all the way down to your neatly taken-care-of happy trail disappearing under the fabric.

You wished for him to be there, to caress your short hair while kissing your growing beard and making you smile. All that was topped by a sweet intercourse if he and you had the mental and physical energy, otherwise you two would just sleep on the bed like two lethargic bears. It has been a while since you two could spend time together without the fear of an upcoming mission.

You were kinda horny to say the least. Sparce kisses, quick hugs, messy and needy quick makeout sessions were not satifying enough.

He came out of the bathroom wearing his bathrobe vest with still damp hair and he looked at you with curious eyes.

"Yeh need anything Lad?" you eyed the small box sitting at the inner corner of the clothing cabin and then back at him.

"I see, that horny repressed testosteron-filled-brain is angry that it couldn't be satisfied all these months!" he teased as he took the box in his hands, tossed it near your figure, and then sitting near you.

"Do you want to do it? I mean...you are right..." you put a hand on his clothed tigh as you spoke lowly with attentive eyes waiting for that change in his pupils.

Without waisting anytime, he tossed his bathrobe on a nearby chair and climbed on top of you, kissing hungrily your lips and shoving his toungue inside. He traced gently your surgery scars, while going down with his trail of kisses, rewarded by your sweet sighs and praises.

He went down further scratching your firm waist and nibbling at your hard abdomen built by the years of service in the SAS.

In the end he tugged at the hem of your boxers with his teeth, the noticed the arousal under them and he wanted to take care of that problem. He inhealed the musky body shampoo smell as he eyed for permission. You put your hands on his short hair tugging them slightly, he registered the fact that you gave him permission and slowly pulled them down.

[vampiricgaz]

TW: Kissing, ftm reader, top surgery, mentions of toys (not used), mlm, making out but no sex, reader has bottom growth. May contain spelling mistakes

You missed your boyfriend, so much that your thoughts drove to another route as you eyed your box with your's and his favourite toys, not to mention the lingerie stored in a small white bag that was waiting to be used.

You were layed on your shared bed with out a shirt on and only wearing boxers. You traced your surgery scars that, by now, where almost invisible, and traced all the way down to your neatly taken-care-of happy trail disappearing under the fabric.

You wished for him to be there, to caress your short hair while kissing your growing beard and making you smile. All that was topped by a sweet intercourse if he and you had the mental and physical energy, otherwise you two would just sleep on the bed like two lethargic bears. It has been a while since you two could spend time together without the fear of an upcoming mission.

You were kinda horny to say the least. Sparce kisses, quick hugs, messy and needy quick makeout sessions were not satifying enough.

He came out of the bathroom wearing his bathrobe vest with still damp hair and he looked at you with curious eyes.

"Yeh need anything Lad?" you eyed the small box sitting at the inner corner of the clothing cabin and then back at him.

"I see, that horny repressed testosteron-filled-brain is angry that it couldn't be satisfied all these months!" he teased as he took the box in his hands, tossed it near your figure, and then sitting near you.

"Do you want to do it? I mean...you are right..." you put a hand on his clothed tigh as you spoke lowly with attentive eyes waiting for that change in his pupils.

Without waisting anytime, he tossed his bathrobe on a nearby chair and climbed on top of you, kissing hungrily your lips and shoving his toungue inside. He traced gently your surgery scars, while going down with his trail of kisses, rewarded by your sweet sighs and praises.

He went down further scratching your firm waist and nibbling at your hard abdomen built by the years of service in the SAS.

In the end he tugged at the hem of your boxers with his teeth, the noticed the arousal under them and he wanted to take care of that problem. He inhealed the musky body shampoo smell as he eyed for permission. You put your hands on his short hair tugging them slightly, he registered the fact that you gave him permission and slowly pulled them down.

[vampiricgaz]

[vampiricgaz]

what was i made for?

writing smth for ftm!reader bc i am in fact.. ftm (and gay ! and poly yeehaw)

kyle “gaz” garrick x ftm!reader

warnings: maybe ooc, angst/comfort (more angst than comfort), transphobic remarks (not really shown), internalized transphobia, internalized homophobia

word count: 942

(this is lowkey a vent writing piece so.. uhh yeah!)

IT WAS ALWAYS HARD TRYING TO EXPLAIN TO YOUR FAMILY YOUR IDENTITY; they didn’t seem to care enough to take you seriously and it hurt.

It was tiring to explain that you weren’t a girl, that you were never one. That you were a man and you liked them too.

They either didn’t care or didn’t understand. They kept misgendering you, dead named you sometimes too.

Yet, throughout that pain, you didn’t cut them off. You couldn’t find it in yourself to let your family go. Although you should, that’s what your therapist told you.

It was odd. You found it odd to have found a boyfriend who loved you. Someone who saw you like you saw yourself. Someone who came up to you and asked you out shyly because he found you attractive and had heard your giggle and he was smitten.

But.

There was always a but.

Your brain couldn’t comprehend that Kyle truly loved you. That he saw you as a man because surely he’ll leave you as soon as he gets the chance to.

You were waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Your therapist told you that it wasn’t healthy of you to hold your insecurities so deep within yourself and not share them with him. You tried explaining yourself but it felt as if your therapist wasn’t hearing you.

Because how do you explain that you don’t feel like you belong? How do you explain that in your mind, in your head, you never felt like you belonged in a gay relationship.

That you felt like a fraud some days.

Maybe you needed to get a new therapist.

No, that wasn’t the issue.

You stayed in bed, curled up. Only getting up to use the bathroom. You didn’t contact anyone all day either.

Your brain was eating you alive.

You felt wrong.

It felt like you didn’t belong. It was an odd thing. Always a mess when you were in your head. You knew Kyle was probably worried, concerned for you.

You didn’t hear the front door opening. You didn’t hear your bedroom door opening either.

You didn’t see Kyle looking at you with sadness in his eyes. Just by your position alone he knew.

You felt the bed shift behind you. His arm hovering over you.

“Darlin?” he whispered. “Can I touch you.”

You nodded weakly and he pulled you against his chest. You started to sob. Your body shaking as you let go of your emotions after being bottled up for so long.

You didn’t belong.

You weren’t a girl. Sure, you understood the pain of misogyny and sisterhood was something special to you but, you weren’t a girl.

Sometimes, you barely felt like a man either. Sure, toxic masculinity was something you saw pre transition and experienced during transitioning but, what made a man a man?

Even when voicing your concerns to your therapist they didn’t seem to understand.

No one understood you, not really.

So when Kyle told you it’s okay. It’s okay darling.

You snapped. You pushed him away and got off the bed. Your eyes were puffy and your nose was runny. You shook your head, constantly repeating it isn't. It isn’t.

Because to you, it wasn’t okay. It would never truly be okay.

Kyle got up to hold you again but you shook your head, raising your hand to stop you. He stood in front of you, frozen in place, unsure of what to do.

You also didn’t know what to do.

For how do you explain to your boyfriend the demons in your head were eating you up? That they were destroying any sense of security you had.

The answer is, you couldn’t but, you tried.

You saw the way his eyes widened slightly when you started rambling. Your therapist's words ringing in your head.

Open up. Let him in. He loves you, let him help you. Let him in.

He shook his head, grabbing your hands and holding them. He whispered soft words of praise, understanding. He let you shake your head. He let you yell that he didn’t understand and that he never would, not truly.

He was trying and that was all that mattered to you at the moment.

You whispered softly that you didn’t feel like you belonged, not in a gay relationship and not anywhere really.

He nodded, encouraging you to talk.

You continued, letting him know that it was okay, if he were to leave you for a real man.

He shut you down there. He told you that he loved you. That to him, you were a real man. You just shrugged at his response, not truly believing him.

He wasn’t upset at you nor was he growing frustrated.

It always startled you, how calm Kyle was in moments your self doubt was loud.

He told you that you were a man. That you always were.

He pulled you into his arms again, his head resting on top of yours and you started to cry again.

Kyle may not understand, not fully but he’s trying. He whispers to you that he will always be there for you. That he loves you so much. How he’s so proud of you for continuing even though you’re struggling.

You let the words sink in. You know that some days are worse than others and today was bad. You melt against him, your hands gripping onto the back of his shirt.

Your body shakes as you sob. He lets your hair and whispers soothing words.

“You’re enough.”

“I’m so proud of you darling.”

For now, for a while, for next time, his words are enough.

[vampiricgaz]

Gaz who'd always be stuck on the mindset that men shouldn't cry, yet he chokes in between tears when he comes home into your arms.

Gaz who would never hurt you no matter the circumstance, but would allow you to hurt him if he does something wrong as a way to quote unquote cleanse him.

Gaz who's always such a sweetheart and lets you rub his scars while he traces your stretch marks (if you have some) and will maintain eye contact as he does so. Believes that eyes are the windows to the soul and will never let that thought down.

Gaz who will always put you first in any given situation. Oh, he's in a hospital bed? Don't worry, just one quick call from you and he's blowing kisses through the phone, completely ignoring the fact that he could blow a vein at any given moment. Oh, he got shot? Looks at the ring on his finger to remember who he's going home to.

Gaz who sometimes forgets he's dating you and often downturn smiles when you flirt with him in front of his team.

Gaz who is unintentionally sassy with his remarks, looks sassy, and acts sassy too. You can tell this man was raised not to be a bitch.

Gaz who has the cutest fangs when he smiles and likes to lick them as a habit, all the while wearing that stupidly hot grin on his face.

Gaz who likes to lay in between your thighs while he reads a book or if he's playing games when he's off duty.

[vampiricgaz]

Can I ask what Gaz fics/drabbles are your reading rn, I'm desperate to read something with Gaz but ngl I feel like ive read em all 😭

gaz gets baby fever

sharing body insecurities with gaz

him, her, and the dog

a helping hand

sharing is caring

familiar warmth

soundless

white flag

bodyworshipping

yours to tame

gaz scratching your back during fucking

secretly married

alpha!gaz

dog tags

filthy sex with gaz

the tongue is a flame of fire

just a couple more minutes

i will gladly break my heart for you

also check out my rec list

Kyle "Gaz" Garrick Appreciation List

and then there's also the Gazfest lists by @glitterypirateduck

Gazfest 2023 [part 1]

Gazfest 2023 [part 2]

here are some from ao3:

my flat is your flat, my fridge is your fridge, and my shower is your shower (as long as you need it)

incompetent people

tease me, please me

and they were roommates

safe

it's over

hope this helps

[vampiricgaz]

Kyle “Gaz” Garrick x gn!reader

TW: minor angst(?)/comfort- mostly just anxiety on Gaz’s part

——

He had gone dark months ago.

Months without contact.

Months of you not knowing if he was alive, and of him not knowing if you were safe.

It felt bone chilling to be standing in front of your shared home. Would you have missed him? Would you have stayed faithful despite going no contact?

Gaz didn’t want to think like that.

He wanted to believe when you promised you loved him. But being away for so long for the first time in a relationship, it could break everything. It’s happened to him before.

The more he stared at the front door, the more he wished he had stayed the night on base and texted you the next morning. To give you some heads up, he convinced himself.

But ignoring the jittering of fear in his hands and heart, he crossed the threshold.

The house was dark and silent, only a few automatic lights provided light. The blue shine from the fridge marked 3:27, so he treaded extra carefully. If his hopes were right, you’d have been asleep for a while now.

Setting his things quietly on the counter, Kyle took some time to see that the place had been slightly rearranged. Or had it always been like that? Maybe he just couldn’t remember.

Everything was open and clean, and he felt like a spot that got missed during sweeping. His shoes were still coated in dirt, his skin in sweat, and he reeked of exhaustion. In his uniform, he stuck out like a sore thumb.

He continued on in the house, pushing aside the ever looming feeling of misplacement.

The walk to your shared bedroom felt like walking on a tightrope. What would you do if you woke up? What if you weren’t there at all?

Either it was all the time away or the sleep deprivation, but Kyle couldn’t help but overthink seeing you again.

The door faintly creaked open… and you were asleep in bed.

Thank god.

Despite wanting to crawl in beside you, he knew he needed to shed off the last of his gear. A shower would also is probably necessary.

The bathroom looked mostly the same. His things were still in their typical areas; his soap in the shower, the beard trimmer he forgot on the sink, even the old sticky note you left him one morning. It all made him smile, made him think that maybe he still had a spot in this home.

The water was a bit cold for his liking, but he didn’t want to waste time warming it when he could be in bed as soon as possible.

He felt warm at the thought of holding you in bed after all this time.

Had you been taking care of yourself? Drinking water and staying fed? Hopefully you hadn’t gotten sick while he was gone…

The thoughts died out as he picked up his bottle of shampoo. It felt near full, which was odd… he was sure he had left it close to empty. He had made a mental note to get a new one once he was back. Who had used his stuff?

The fears came back in an instant as he rushed even more to get out of the shower.

His feet hit the floor of your shared bedroom with caution. As much as he wanted to wake you and ask about the shampoo, he knew how silly it would be to wake you up over it.

When morning comes, he thought to himself.

So instead, with ease, he slipped into the bed and leaned over you slightly. Even in the dark he could trace your features, but it now obvious up close that you’d gone to bed not that long before. Your hair faintly damp from a shower of your own, and one of Kyle’s shirts to cover you. God, he felt silly.

How easy his worries could be swayed should be studied, as he stifled a small laugh and kissed your temple. The smell of his hair products on you also helped to quell his fears. His arms wrapped around you as he laid down, your bodies relaxing and coming together as soft snores escaped the both of you.

——

I always see posts about the other guys coming home to a significant other, so I thought I’d add my own thoughts to the pile.