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Lead and Follow

What does leadership mean? Leadership is the art of leading others to deliberately create a result that wouldn’t have happened otherwise.

It’s not just the creation of results that makes good leadership. Good leaders are able to deliberately create challenging results by enlisting the help of others.

The Characteristics of a Good Leader

Self-Awareness - You have an intimate knowledge of your inner emotional state. You know your strengths and your weaknesses. You know when you’re working in flow and you know when you’re over worked. You know yourself, including your capabilities and your limitations, which allows you to push yourself to your maximum potential.

Self-Direction - You’re able to direct yourself effectively and powerfully. You know how to get things done, how to organize tasks and how to avoid procrastination. You know how to generate energy for projects, to calm yourself when angered. You can make decisions quickly when necessary, but can also slow to consider all the options on the table.

Vision - You’re working towards a goal that’s greater than yourself. It could be something small, like the success of the team, or a larger vision like world peace. Working towards a vision is far more inspiring than working towards personal gain.

Ability to Motivate - Leaders don’t lead by telling people what they have to do. Instead, leaders cause people to want to help them. A key part of this is cultivating your own desire to help others. When others sense that you want to help them, they in turn want to help you.

Social Awareness - Understanding social networks and key influences in that social network is another key part of leadership.

Emotional Intelligence and Leadership

Most of these traits tie directly into emotional intelligence (EQ). Leaders with high EQ are intrinsically more self-aware. They understand their mental processes and know how to direct themselves. They’re more in touch with what they’re deeply passionate about. They naturally care more for others and receive more compassion in return. They’re more socially in tune.

Leadership is more often than not about “soft skills” rather than hard skills. Yes, a leader who understands what drives the bottom line is valuable. Yet it’s the leader who can get others to perform at their best who ultimately creates winning organizations.

Being a follower is a straightforward concept.  It is the ability to take direction well, to get in line behind a program, to be part of a team and to deliver on what is expected of you.  How well the followers follow is probably just as important to enterprise success as how well the leaders lead.

The qualities of a good follower

Judgement - Followers must take direction but they have an underlying obligation to the enterprise to do so only when the direction is ethical and proper.  The key is having the judgement to know the difference between a directive that your leader gives on how to proceed that you do not agree with and a directive that is truly wrong.

Work Ethic - Good followers are good workers.  They are diligent, motivated, committed, pay attention to detail and make the effort.  Leaders have a responsibility to create an environment that permits these qualities but regardless, it is the responsibility of the follower to be a good worker.  There is no such thing as a bad worker who is a good follower.

Competence - The follower cannot follow properly unless competent at the task that is directed by the leader.  It is the obligation of the leader to assure that followers are competent.  Sometimes things go wrong because the follower is not competent at the task at hand.  When this happens, leaders should blame themselves, not the follower.  A sign of poor leadership is blaming followers for not having skills they do not have.

Honesty - The follower owes the leader an honest and forthright assessment of what the leader is trying to achieve and how.  This is especially the case when the follower feels the leader’s agenda is seriously flawed.  Respect and politeness are important but that said, it is not acceptable for followers to sit on their hands while an inept leader drives the proverbial bus over the cliff.  Good leaders are grateful for constructive feedback from their team.  Bad leaders do not welcome feedback and here followers have to tread carefully.  If the situation is serious enough, consideration should be given to going above the leader in question for guidance.

Courage - Followers need to be honest with those who lead them.  They also need the courage to be honest.  It takes real courage to confront a leader about concerns with the leader’s agenda or worse, the leader himself or herself.  It is not for naught that Churchill called courage “The foremost of the virtues, for upon it, all others depend”.  From time to time, it takes real courage to be a good follower. 

Loyalty - Good followers respect their obligation to be loyal to their enterprise.  Loyalty to the enterprise and its goals is particularly important when there are problems, interpersonal or otherwise, with a particular leader.  Followers who are not loyal are inevitably a source of difficulty.  They create problems between team members; they compromise the achievement of goals; they waste everybody’s time; they are a menace.  Loyalty is not a synonym for lapdog.  Rather, its essence is a strong allegiance and commitment to what the organization is trying to do.  Followers should remember that their obligation is to the enterprise, not a given leader at a given point in time.

Ego Management - Good followers have their egos under control.  They are team players in the fullest sense of the concept.  They have good interpersonal skills.  Success for good followers relates to performance and goal achievement not personal recognition and self promotion.  Sounds too good to be true and often it is.  It is difficult but the best organizations tie advancement and reward to performance and goal achievement as hard as that may be to do.

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My Kind of Love

Philosopher Jean Paul Sartre said that “commitment is an act, not a word”. Be loyal or faithful to your beloved. And that, no other personal (romantic) relationships on the side will co-exist with what you have with your partner. We love because we value our self enough and we have different kinds of love we are looking for. There is one thing we know about love, it conquers us all.

 Well as for me, the kind of love I’ve been looking for is accepting my flaws or my imperfections. I am not this person who is a perfectionist that everything must be perfect. If you love someone, be matured enough to handle the situations that can break your relationship. Love is worth fighting for even though sometimes it hurts so much that makes you think that it won’t work. We all deserved to be love because this is not a game.  Another thing I’m looking for kind of love is working together to face and solve the challenges in life.

“Don’t love me because I love you. Love me because you love me. Because that is what I deserve.” - Ely, Barcelona: A Love Untold

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The Emotion Challenge

Sometimes emotions can be painful force in our lives. We are driven day by day by our emotions. Without a doubt, our emotions dictate our thoughts, intentions and actions with superior authority to our rational minds. But when we act on our emotions too quickly, or we act on the wrong kinds of emotions, we often make decisions that we later regret.

In time, these sorts of emotions can grow like weeds, slowly conditioning the mind to function on detrimental feelings and dominating daily life. Being able to control your emotions is key to your happiness as well as your relationships.

  According to Peter Salovey & John Mayer’s Theory, emotions are organized responses to internal and external events that may have positive or negative effect on the adjustment of the individual.

There are 4 ways to manage your emotions:

1.  Keep your emotions in check

2.  Take a moment to consider your feelings, especially distressing ones

3.  Handle anger well

4.  Keep a positive attitude

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Dear Ate/Kuya

These are my calendar plans for the month of October.

I call this one a “Happiness Calendar” where it helps me to keep mentally healthy. This is very important to me because I can be stress-free even though I have many things to do in my life. This is an effective way to stay mentally healthy for me to boost up my self-control in dealing with any stress.

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This works for me!

There are times we get stressed when we cannot handle the problems or when things get rough. We get pressured when we worry that we can’t cope with the problems we have. There are negative effects of stress in which our body gets tired or even illness like having a headache and low appetite. This kind of attitude won’t last unless you do something to get over with it.

Things to do to avoid stress

1. Make yourself a hot drink and drink it slowly, noticing the taste and smell

2. Take a warm bath or shower

3. Feed your pet

4. Make a doodle

5. Listen to the music and dance

6. Do an exercise

7. Clean your room

8. Go somewhere like beach with someone

9. Watch a movie and eat popcorn

10. Get enough sleep

11. Remember to smile

12. Say “no” more often

13. Play with your siblings

14. Make plan/goal for yourself

15. Believe in yourself

16. Stop saying negative things in your life

17. Read a book

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Morale Boosters

My dearest NJ,

          You’ve been brave enough in facing your problems in your life. You’re already grown up and almost done in the role of being a teenager. I am so proud of what you have become today. You are so kind to other people and you really like to help others first before yourself. The mistakes from the past taught you well to become a better person. It serves you as a lesson and here we are, you are standing in front of the people showing them that you changed to a better person. 

          When people tries to bring you down, just remember to smile and kill them with kindness. The experiences from the past made your life even better. When life gets rough, you don’t just easily give up but you keep on pushing to be away from being a weak person. You know now how to deal with other people without any regrets. A reminder for yourself that you are what you are and don’t let fear consume you for you to show the world you are confident and stronger than them. Take care always and good luck on your journey of becoming an adult!

Sincerely,

NJ

A letter from my classmate

A letter from my friend

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What I feel about expectations of me

Dear future self,

          I don't know what might be your future but I see a lot of achievements in your life. You don't give up on getting your goals in life. There are so many challenges you have encountered in your life and I am very happy that you passed those challenges. 

          I know you are very tired right now, we always get tired but remember that you're doing this for the future. Your loved ones expect a lot from you and make those dreams come true not just by words but also with actions. Make your parents proud of what you are going to be in the future. Have courage and be kind always.

Love,

NJ

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Personal Development & Career Goals

I have many achievements in my life and there is one that I will always remember, the moving up to the next level which is Senior High. Back on my Junior High School, I’ve faced a lot of struggles but I was determined not to quit on achieving my goal. I did my best and all of my efforts was actually worth it.

As the eldest brother in the family, I take full responsibilities as a brother to my siblings and of one it is to take care of them. I love them so much with all my heart and I will always protect them from the bad things in life no matter what happens.

I am focusing right now to pass all the subjects in this school year so that I can proceed to Grade 12 and graduate from Senior High.

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A Personal Mandala

The mandala represents me of how strong I am and how colorful & wonderful my life is. Having a patience and positive towards life makes my life even better. 

There are times in life that things get rough but I never give up on such things that brings negative towards my life. It defines me of being a joyful person that brings goodness to the people that surrounds me. Positivity inside and out.

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The Selfie Project

Hey everyone! My name is Nicole Joshua D. Valiente but my friends call me NJ. A 17 year-old boy who loves to take & edit pictures, listen to chill music, watch movies, eat chocolates and travel. I used to live with Grandmother before but then we moved to another place since my sixth grade in school. 

I’ve been studying in La Salle Academy for 4 years until now. I am this person who laughs a lot and enjoy the little things in life. People know me as a simple person and yes, I am a simple person but have many goals in life. I am who I am. Happy and contented of what I have.

“My life is a journey full of unexpected events and what makes it more exciting is the mysteries I've came to unravel eventually.”