valeriearavos

[valeriearavos]

Hey guys! Just so you know I might be really slow answering anons/ rbs rn bc I am not doing good.

Idk how long this is gonna last but I just wanted to let you guys know what’s going on so you know I’m not just lurking and ignoring things for now reason.

If yall wanna send me anything with good vibes or that’s just silly rn, please do I could use the positivity.

I will be reblogging this to all of my accounts.

Details below the cut, read the tags for triggers.

So I’m genuinely not doing well and I haven’t been for a while. Being on tumblr and especially doing the rp has helped a ton and I can’t express my gratitude enough for this community.

Last night I made an attempt on my life as some of you might already know.

Luckily, I did not do enough research on the meds I took to overdose and found out that it wasn’t gonna kill me about halfway through the experience.

I have been suicidal since i can remember, so this is not something new. Even though this was only my second attempt.

I am safe rn and I have support and I plan to work on a real solution to these problems which might include dropping out of school.

I’ve briefly brushed on these ideas within the rp as a way of coping, which I know is not the healthiest approach, but it does help to be able to express it and vent through the anonymity of rp.

I don’t want to publicly talk about my trauma so I’m going to leave it at that.

If anybody is worried or needs further reassurance, I understand, and my dms on all of my accounts are open. I may not respond immediately but I will try to respond when I can. I know this is a lot to hear from someone you may only vaguely know through the fun little rp world.

I know I’m not the only one struggling with these issues in this community. If you are struggling, please reach out to someone. I know reaching out is scary and it’s a large burden to put on someone, but it’s so much better than just disappearing. People in this community want to help.

Thank you all for all of the support I’ve gotten through this community. It genuinely means the world to me.

[valeriearavos]

Val had walked out of the room as soon as Lucifer spoke in her mind. Of course he could hear her silent little debate. It’s not like she wanted to think those thoughts. It’s not like she actually thought that, right? That would be awful…

She was already crying before she was even out of the room.

Two people she loved and the devil were in her bedroom right now and she wasn’t even allowed in there. And they all hated her. It would be false to say Val isn’t used to crying in her own home. At least she wasn’t when Crimson and Nadia are here.

She leans against the glass of the living room. She’s always been so scared of falling.

@morningstarscratch

((welp. Here we go :D))

It wasn't long before Lucifer, along with crimson, was knocking at Valerie's door. they'd given her ample time to warn Nadia, if she thought that the best course of action. Though maybe warning her would result in her trying to run away.

- @morningstarscratch

Valerie opens the door quickly, hoping not to disturb Nadia’s reading. If they were able to get in without her noticing maybe Nadia wouldn’t cause too much trouble.

Valerie waivers when she sees Crimson. She hasn’t seen her in person since the incident. They’d exchanged plenty of texts. Mostly one sided unless it had to do with Nadia.

“Come in. She’s on the couch.”

Valerie leads them in quietly.

@nadia-nicole @crimsonknightly @morningstarscratch

[valeriearavos]

There’s a twinge of regret in Valerie’s mind when Nadia goes right back to Crimson and Lucifer without a second thought. For just a moment, she had had Nadia all to herself. She had had someone that loved her. But it didn’t last. It never does.

And besides, what matters is that Nadia is doing better now. She feels better. She has her memories back. That’s good. That’s better than Valerie being selfish.

She crosses her arms and leans back against the wall. Nadia was probably just going to forget about her again at this point. Might as well butt out now.

@morningstarscratch

((welp. Here we go :D))

It wasn't long before Lucifer, along with crimson, was knocking at Valerie's door. they'd given her ample time to warn Nadia, if she thought that the best course of action. Though maybe warning her would result in her trying to run away.

- @morningstarscratch

Valerie opens the door quickly, hoping not to disturb Nadia’s reading. If they were able to get in without her noticing maybe Nadia wouldn’t cause too much trouble.

Valerie waivers when she sees Crimson. She hasn’t seen her in person since the incident. They’d exchanged plenty of texts. Mostly one sided unless it had to do with Nadia.

“Come in. She’s on the couch.”

Valerie leads them in quietly.

@nadia-nicole @crimsonknightly @morningstarscratch

[valeriearavos]

Valerie holds Nadia’s hand with both of her hands. One that Nadia is squeezing, the other resting on top. She’s glad Nadia is breathing deeply and focusing on not panicking too much. This should all be over very soon.

@morningstarscratch

((welp. Here we go :D))

It wasn't long before Lucifer, along with crimson, was knocking at Valerie's door. they'd given her ample time to warn Nadia, if she thought that the best course of action. Though maybe warning her would result in her trying to run away.

- @morningstarscratch

Valerie opens the door quickly, hoping not to disturb Nadia’s reading. If they were able to get in without her noticing maybe Nadia wouldn’t cause too much trouble.

Valerie waivers when she sees Crimson. She hasn’t seen her in person since the incident. They’d exchanged plenty of texts. Mostly one sided unless it had to do with Nadia.

“Come in. She’s on the couch.”

Valerie leads them in quietly.

@nadia-nicole @crimsonknightly @morningstarscratch

[valeriearavos]

Valerie holds her hand tightly.

“I’m right here for you. I may not be able to do much against him, but you know i would die before I let him hurt you, right?”

@morningstarscratch

((welp. Here we go :D))

It wasn't long before Lucifer, along with crimson, was knocking at Valerie's door. they'd given her ample time to warn Nadia, if she thought that the best course of action. Though maybe warning her would result in her trying to run away.

- @morningstarscratch

Valerie opens the door quickly, hoping not to disturb Nadia’s reading. If they were able to get in without her noticing maybe Nadia wouldn’t cause too much trouble.

Valerie waivers when she sees Crimson. She hasn’t seen her in person since the incident. They’d exchanged plenty of texts. Mostly one sided unless it had to do with Nadia.

“Come in. She’s on the couch.”

Valerie leads them in quietly.

@nadia-nicole @crimsonknightly @morningstarscratch

[valeriearavos]

Valerie nods, getting closer.

“He’s not going to do anything but fix what’s been altered. He needs to be able to touch you to do it. I really wish he didn’t, but he does. I’ll be right here with you to support you. I’m here to protect you.”

She says, trying to coax Nadia into a sense of security.

@morningstarscratch

((welp. Here we go :D))

It wasn't long before Lucifer, along with crimson, was knocking at Valerie's door. they'd given her ample time to warn Nadia, if she thought that the best course of action. Though maybe warning her would result in her trying to run away.

- @morningstarscratch

Valerie opens the door quickly, hoping not to disturb Nadia’s reading. If they were able to get in without her noticing maybe Nadia wouldn’t cause too much trouble.

Valerie waivers when she sees Crimson. She hasn’t seen her in person since the incident. They’d exchanged plenty of texts. Mostly one sided unless it had to do with Nadia.

“Come in. She’s on the couch.”

Valerie leads them in quietly.

@nadia-nicole @crimsonknightly @morningstarscratch

[valeriearavos]

“Nadia, can you please try being logical about this? Crimson came back from Michael with their memories altered, knowing that their memories were altered. If it was Lucifer that had altered the memories and not Michael, why would Crimson have thought that?”

Valerie starts her train of logic.

“You know I have every reason to dislike Lucifer, but I am trusting him on this because of what you told me about him before all of this happened. Lucifer never got close enough to me to alter my memories. I know what you told me. I know Lucifer helped you intervene with Crim.”

She takes a deep breath before continuing, hoping Nadia’s understanding now.

“Can you please consider me an unbiased judge? Someone who cares only about what happens to you in this?”

@morningstarscratch

((welp. Here we go :D))

It wasn't long before Lucifer, along with crimson, was knocking at Valerie's door. they'd given her ample time to warn Nadia, if she thought that the best course of action. Though maybe warning her would result in her trying to run away.

- @morningstarscratch

Valerie opens the door quickly, hoping not to disturb Nadia’s reading. If they were able to get in without her noticing maybe Nadia wouldn’t cause too much trouble.

Valerie waivers when she sees Crimson. She hasn’t seen her in person since the incident. They’d exchanged plenty of texts. Mostly one sided unless it had to do with Nadia.

“Come in. She’s on the couch.”

Valerie leads them in quietly.

@nadia-nicole @crimsonknightly @morningstarscratch

[valeriearavos]

“Deal. He doesn’t come any closer unless you agree to it. Now can we just talk?”

She sits down as well, meeting Nadia’s height.

@morningstarscratch

((welp. Here we go :D))

It wasn't long before Lucifer, along with crimson, was knocking at Valerie's door. they'd given her ample time to warn Nadia, if she thought that the best course of action. Though maybe warning her would result in her trying to run away.

- @morningstarscratch

Valerie opens the door quickly, hoping not to disturb Nadia’s reading. If they were able to get in without her noticing maybe Nadia wouldn’t cause too much trouble.

Valerie waivers when she sees Crimson. She hasn’t seen her in person since the incident. They’d exchanged plenty of texts. Mostly one sided unless it had to do with Nadia.

“Come in. She’s on the couch.”

Valerie leads them in quietly.

@nadia-nicole @crimsonknightly @morningstarscratch

[valeriearavos]

Valerie sighs and knocks on the door.

“Nadia, we’re coming in. Can you please just let us help you?”

@morningstarscratch

((welp. Here we go :D))

It wasn't long before Lucifer, along with crimson, was knocking at Valerie's door. they'd given her ample time to warn Nadia, if she thought that the best course of action. Though maybe warning her would result in her trying to run away.

- @morningstarscratch

Valerie opens the door quickly, hoping not to disturb Nadia’s reading. If they were able to get in without her noticing maybe Nadia wouldn’t cause too much trouble.

Valerie waivers when she sees Crimson. She hasn’t seen her in person since the incident. They’d exchanged plenty of texts. Mostly one sided unless it had to do with Nadia.

“Come in. She’s on the couch.”

Valerie leads them in quietly.

@nadia-nicole @crimsonknightly @morningstarscratch

[valeriearavos]

Valerie sighs. “Can’t I care about both of you?” She shakes her head. “Please just let us help you.”

@morningstarscratch

((welp. Here we go :D))

It wasn't long before Lucifer, along with crimson, was knocking at Valerie's door. they'd given her ample time to warn Nadia, if she thought that the best course of action. Though maybe warning her would result in her trying to run away.

- @morningstarscratch

Valerie opens the door quickly, hoping not to disturb Nadia’s reading. If they were able to get in without her noticing maybe Nadia wouldn’t cause too much trouble.

Valerie waivers when she sees Crimson. She hasn’t seen her in person since the incident. They’d exchanged plenty of texts. Mostly one sided unless it had to do with Nadia.

“Come in. She’s on the couch.”

Valerie leads them in quietly.

@nadia-nicole @crimsonknightly @morningstarscratch

[valeriearavos]

✨reblog if you're accepting anonymous asks about anything✨

[valeriearavos]

Valerie tensed at Nadia's jab at Crimson. Valerie glanced at them softly, almost checking on them, before turning back to Nadia.

"You don't get to talk to them like that." She says, her tone rough. "Nadia, I know you're scared. I know you're saying things you don't mean, but this is not the right response. Can you please just let us help you?"

@morningstarscratch

((welp. Here we go :D))

It wasn't long before Lucifer, along with crimson, was knocking at Valerie's door. they'd given her ample time to warn Nadia, if she thought that the best course of action. Though maybe warning her would result in her trying to run away.

- @morningstarscratch

Valerie opens the door quickly, hoping not to disturb Nadia’s reading. If they were able to get in without her noticing maybe Nadia wouldn’t cause too much trouble.

Valerie waivers when she sees Crimson. She hasn’t seen her in person since the incident. They’d exchanged plenty of texts. Mostly one sided unless it had to do with Nadia.

“Come in. She’s on the couch.”

Valerie leads them in quietly.

@nadia-nicole @crimsonknightly @morningstarscratch

[valeriearavos]

Valerie's mouth shuts completely. She backs away from Nadia, shaking her head.

"You know I never wanted to hurt you. I'm so, so sorry for what I did to you. I thought..."

She can't say she thought Nadia had forgave her, what good does that do?

Valerie is biting back tears now.

"Why can't you believe that I'm trying to help you?"

@morningstarscratch

((welp. Here we go :D))

It wasn't long before Lucifer, along with crimson, was knocking at Valerie's door. they'd given her ample time to warn Nadia, if she thought that the best course of action. Though maybe warning her would result in her trying to run away.

- @morningstarscratch

Valerie opens the door quickly, hoping not to disturb Nadia’s reading. If they were able to get in without her noticing maybe Nadia wouldn’t cause too much trouble.

Valerie waivers when she sees Crimson. She hasn’t seen her in person since the incident. They’d exchanged plenty of texts. Mostly one sided unless it had to do with Nadia.

“Come in. She’s on the couch.”

Valerie leads them in quietly.

@nadia-nicole @crimsonknightly @morningstarscratch

[valeriearavos]

"Nadia, look at me. Just look at me. Don't focus on anything else right now. I'm here to help you. I love you. You know that, right?"

She says carefully and softly.

"Come sit down and we can talk. Nobody's going to hurt you. Crimson and I are here to keep you safe."

@morningstarscratch

((welp. Here we go :D))

It wasn't long before Lucifer, along with crimson, was knocking at Valerie's door. they'd given her ample time to warn Nadia, if she thought that the best course of action. Though maybe warning her would result in her trying to run away.

- @morningstarscratch

Valerie opens the door quickly, hoping not to disturb Nadia’s reading. If they were able to get in without her noticing maybe Nadia wouldn’t cause too much trouble.

Valerie waivers when she sees Crimson. She hasn’t seen her in person since the incident. They’d exchanged plenty of texts. Mostly one sided unless it had to do with Nadia.

“Come in. She’s on the couch.”

Valerie leads them in quietly.

@nadia-nicole @crimsonknightly @morningstarscratch

[valeriearavos]

"Nadia, please! Trust me!" Valerie calls to her.

"I have no reason to do anything for him, you know that. Everything I'm doing right now is for your well being, please. I've been honest with you since you've gotten to me, haven't I? I've done nothing but look out for you!"

@morningstarscratch

((welp. Here we go :D))

It wasn't long before Lucifer, along with crimson, was knocking at Valerie's door. they'd given her ample time to warn Nadia, if she thought that the best course of action. Though maybe warning her would result in her trying to run away.

- @morningstarscratch

Valerie opens the door quickly, hoping not to disturb Nadia’s reading. If they were able to get in without her noticing maybe Nadia wouldn’t cause too much trouble.

Valerie waivers when she sees Crimson. She hasn’t seen her in person since the incident. They’d exchanged plenty of texts. Mostly one sided unless it had to do with Nadia.

“Come in. She’s on the couch.”

Valerie leads them in quietly.

@nadia-nicole @crimsonknightly @morningstarscratch

[valeriearavos]

“Nadia, please, just sit down. Can we talk about this for a moment? Can you trust us?”

She pleads, putting a gentle hand on Nadia’s shoulder to comfort her.

She sits down on the couch, waiting for Nadia to sit beside her.

@morningstarscratch @crimsonknightly @nadia-nicole

((welp. Here we go :D))

It wasn't long before Lucifer, along with crimson, was knocking at Valerie's door. they'd given her ample time to warn Nadia, if she thought that the best course of action. Though maybe warning her would result in her trying to run away.

- @morningstarscratch

Valerie opens the door quickly, hoping not to disturb Nadia’s reading. If they were able to get in without her noticing maybe Nadia wouldn’t cause too much trouble.

Valerie waivers when she sees Crimson. She hasn’t seen her in person since the incident. They’d exchanged plenty of texts. Mostly one sided unless it had to do with Nadia.

“Come in. She’s on the couch.”

Valerie leads them in quietly.

@nadia-nicole @crimsonknightly @morningstarscratch

[valeriearavos]

((welp. Here we go :D))

It wasn't long before Lucifer, along with crimson, was knocking at Valerie's door. they'd given her ample time to warn Nadia, if she thought that the best course of action. Though maybe warning her would result in her trying to run away.

- @morningstarscratch

Valerie opens the door quickly, hoping not to disturb Nadia’s reading. If they were able to get in without her noticing maybe Nadia wouldn’t cause too much trouble.

Valerie waivers when she sees Crimson. She hasn’t seen her in person since the incident. They’d exchanged plenty of texts. Mostly one sided unless it had to do with Nadia.

“Come in. She’s on the couch.”

Valerie leads them in quietly.

@nadia-nicole @crimsonknightly @morningstarscratch