vaishouldireally

[vaishouldireally]

Honest, and romantic

For this night let me be honest and romantic

Let the crescents of this moonlight, take me back to that night 

Let me stare into those crescents, koifished eyes

And lizard like mouth, and see some beauty 

Beauty in the way, hair folds, the way the lips flush, in the way eyelashes flutter

Let me be romantic, for its all worth is 

Its all the tender life is, this rose tint 

Its all the flutter in the stomach, its all the endearment 

Let me be feminine in this hopeless care 

Let me paint my view in this poem 

Paint a romantic, romanticize my world 

Everything, is sad, everything is pathetic

But the courage to stand comes with romantics 

You call it drive, you call it passion

But its romantic, post hoc 

The valour of a king, the steel of an artist

The varnish of beauty shines

The varnish of poetics keeps the painting together

When the storm hits, and the frame bends

The look in your eye stays, when the rest of you is water damaged

Its all gross, its all alien

But in that space let me fill it in colour

This bland colourless boring life 

Let it be placed in the arms of a romantic

The arms of a romantic who sees this

And hugs it tight, calls it love 

Its just romantics, silly. 

Once you see it, you cant not

You can only know in this space. 

That your beloved, 

Is what gives you the most aesthetic pleasure

In your perception of self. 

Your beloved, is the person you can watch for years, 

The person whose smile makes you year, 

the you who you can love 

But in this space,

Its just romantics, silly. 

Its just romantics,

The lizard face, 

And frizzed out hair, 

And the koifish eyes, 

Fail to romanticize the disgust

And this is the most unromantic, ugly, disgusting poem i have written.

Saying that,

Again,

What would watanabe be, without a romantic

What does his love mean, disheveling the plot,

You see through his eyes, an aloof gaze that spans, 

You learn nothing of his love, you learn nothing of his yearning

He suddenly, loves, he knew it all along apparently

Did i miss it? Where you added anything of your own 

But the entire painting is his own, 

The beauty of perspective, the painting is whole, 

It doesnt need him, 

The brush, strokes, those are him 

You get disheveled, because you dont realise, that this beautiful canvas, is love 

You dont realise that the way you colour the skin,

The way you part the lips, your gaze, is your love. 

You live for your gaze, 

You live for the you you want to be,

You live for that person 

You want to be a person that you can love 

But your gaze and portrayal is ever changing

You cant set stone a canvas

You cant look back, and say to midori, that you loved her all along

You focus, and make it perfect, and perfect, and perfect 

And oh your hands ache! Oh your feet ache, oh your skin burns, 

Oh these carcinogens! These carcinogens in my head! IM exHAUSTED. Its exhausting. Its tiring! Its tiring, but how can you stop. You look away, and its not perfect, the crook of the nose, is weird, and the koifish eyes are bent down, and the . and the .. and that.. 

Convince your self to come back, and paint and paint and paint 

Look at the layers, look at the colours, a brush here, a dab there, 

Swatch the colours, swatch the colours more 

And more

And more 

And more 

Its beauty i seek

In the end of my life. I will die. The painting will not matter. The question isnt if i was satisfied. Its whether i was beautiful enough. Beautiful enough for me to love. And my love comes cheap, to everyone. Everyone but me. 

[vaishouldireally]

Also! (not sure if anyone is active here anymore, its fine if noone isnt too :>)

I have been looking for a place to put my poetry down. I realize that i can do this here. So, this is a reintroduction of sorts.

Hello! this is vash. or vaish, anything works really. she/her, 20 now (insane).

currently a third year engineering student, who loves a lot of random stuff.

This account was a fandom dump for me a few years back, and well, why must i start something new really? if this is my little corner on the internet, with faceless kind people as friends, then so be it :>

I want to start posting my poetry here. I have written so much poetry over the past 3 years, and currently, it feels like a digital dump in my google docs.

they will be here. people who used to follow me before, apologies, you are free to leave too. People who come in, hello :> I hope this is a worthwhile use of your time :>

I dont know if ill be active enough to text on tumblr, but if anything, discord me at v4ishnavi.

I also have a podcast that i work on, infrequently. a lot of it is long drawn out discussions with my college friends. Heres that:

its very raw, and not really well made. again, a creativity dump.

thats about it. :D

long time from here, did a little thing :>

[vaishouldireally]

long time from here, did a little thing :>

[vaishouldireally]

Fun fact this December I showed my college irl friends this blog. They cannot believe me. I was very different when I was active tbf (college made me dead inside /j)

if someone irl found ur blog how long would it take them to confirm it was you. i think it would take 1 singular second for me

[vaishouldireally]

hi i havent been active on tumblr in really really really long (since college, and idk just different phase of life idk)

BUT SAFE TO SAY I HAVE STARTED DANCING!!! however bad!!! its very fun!!!

(also lowkey loved the me who was on tumblr more than a year back, she was cute.)

TO ALL THE DESI-NON DANCERS:

WE ARE MISSING OUT SO HARD SMH

[vaishouldireally]

Ariana Gandhi

Title track : positions

Lyrics : I'll be switching the positions for you yoga in the ashram and I'm freedom fighting too <3

B-side tracks :

Break up with the british I'm bored

I've got no dandis left to march

7 movements

[vaishouldireally]

Dude I'm stressed as well!

We have exams in like 3 days, and i have a lot to finish :((

And then I'm going home for 2 days! So I'm p excited for that i guess ')))

T/f game :))

you put a lot more effort to make sure people around you are doing well, rather than yourself??

(ALSO HOW ARE YOU DOINGG)

That‘s … also true

OMGG VASH!! How you doing? I haven‘t heard from you in AGES! I‘m pretty stressed right now because next week is prom and there‘s still so much to organize! But I‘m also excited!! What are you up to? :))

[vaishouldireally]

[vaishouldireally]

Damn girl are u from Mississippi? Cuz ur the only miss whose piss i sippie

[vaishouldireally]

they invented mankind's most embarrassing agony when they invented "having a crush"

[vaishouldireally]

in my depressed geet era

[vaishouldireally]

[vaishouldireally]

[vaishouldireally]

Kolkata, India.

Swarat Ghosh

[vaishouldireally]

„Life is a book and there are a thousand pages I have not yet read.“

I may present to you William Owen Herondale

[vaishouldireally]

It's us

FRRRR

[vaishouldireally]

Sometimes it is your fault.. Sometimes you don’t listen well enough, you’re selfish, you’re rude and you aren’t always right. Sometimes you fucked it up and tbh that’s okay. It happens, learn from it, apologize and keep it moving. Just because you fucked up doesn’t mean you’re a bad person. Don’t dwell on it