uwuthrad

[uwuthrad]

Elder Scrolls is fascinating to me because the vast majority of the background information of the setting is very obviously written by people with an admirably clear-eyed understanding of how history is mainly just groups genociding the shit out of each other before constructing post-hoc rationalizations of why that was a cool and good thing to do, if they bother justifying anything beyond the level of Might Makes Right. And then the actual main quest plots are often operating at Sword Hero Cleanses The Undesirables levels of These Are The Bad Guys, Kill Them Because We Said So

[uwuthrad]

Historians always talk about how impressive Martin Septim's translation of the Mysterium Xarxes is. And like yeah, translating a daedric artifact in record time with minimal effects to your sanity and well-being is impressive. BUT I think everyone forgets the fact that he did it while also getting his dick sucked clean off by the Hero of Kvatch which only makes it even more impressive.

The man was a truly gifted scholar.

[uwuthrad]

Skyrim mods becoming too immersive

[uwuthrad]

Worst Places to Jerk Off in Skyrim

In no particular order, as they are all shit in their own ways :P

Redwater Spring

Unless you are a vampire or werewolf then you are getting all the diseases. And if you are a vampire, don't do that to the food??? Unless, you're into that 😏

2. Altar of Molag Bal

I don't even need to say why, y'all already know. If you are so inclined (I'm not kink shaming I'm kink asking why) go to the one in Castle Volkihar at least. Don't do it in Markarth my guy

3. The Dwemer Lockbox at Septimus Signus's Outpost

Okay, this might just be me but it would be impossible to have a good time inside a giant Dwemer mechanism with Hermaeus Mora lurking around. HOWEVER, I am aware I am posting this on tesblr on monsterfucker.com so if you are an enjoyer of tentacles than this may be a top spot. You do you bestie, have fun becoming a Seeker someday <3

4. The Chantry of Auri-El

Gelebor has been through enough

5. Frostfall Lighthouse

You probably don't want to anyways

6. Inside Tel Mithryn with Neloth is there

This also has the caveat as some of you (including myself to an extent) are into Neloth. That said, I feel like he would absolutely destroy you with insults that even if he didn't ban you you'd never come back

7. The Warren

Wahoooo second Markarth location! Incredibly depressing, would not be a good vibe

8. The Chill

It's fuckin cold my guy

9. Yngvild

Also cold but more importantly, Arondil has major issues. The room of dead women, the contents of his journals NOPE I am kinkshaming him

10. The Butcher's murder room in Hjerim

Let's offer the dead some peace since we cannot bring the killer to justice as the quest is always broken!!!

Feel free to add your own picks, we could also do a list of the best places ;)

[uwuthrad]

[uwuthrad]

just like having a pet is a constant cycle of asking "what have you got in your mouth now?", modding skyrim is a constant cycle of asking "what are you crashing for now?"

[uwuthrad]

Me walking out of Nchuand-Zel with 950 pounds of Dwemer Metal shoved up my asshole

[uwuthrad]

i understand why tes dragons dont reproduce like traditional dragons n all but the image of a tiny baby dragon in the tes universe is important to me

[uwuthrad]

Year 1-5 of Skyrim being out: WOOOOOOOOW!!! Look at this sick war hammer Malacath gave me! This is so awesome, I-- YOOOOOOOO!!!! THAT DRAGON IS FIGHTING A GIANT, LET'S GOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Year 5-10 of Skyrim being out: I am roleplaying a deeply religious Dunmer. I will ONLY use the Ebony Mail, the Ebony Blade, and Azura's Star. I will follow their teachings, and only their teachings. The only times I don't follow their teachings is if I am literally forced on another path. I will shun and destroy any deity that is not Maphala, Boethia, or Azura. The Good Three are my light and my way.

Year 10+ of Skyrim being out: Hello Generic NPC. I know things about you. So many things. All of the things. I know where you sleep. I know what factions you're a part of. I have the sound of your foot steps memorized, I speak your words before you do. I desire for you, Generic NPC. Oh, not for anything as complex or personal as lust, Generic NPC. Nor hate. Nor is there any judgment here, Generic NPC. My reasons are more ancient, more sinister and, yes, more benevolent than anything you know too. I will follow you home, Generic NPC. I will watch you sleep, Generic NPC. I will cook only the meals you consume, Generic NPC. I will become you, Generic NPC. I will--

[uwuthrad]

Reading TESblr lore opinions and reading TES Reddit lore opinions is like getting glimpses of two completely different planets. It’s so funny. People have completely opposing differences and common conceptions that you can’t even find reference of in the other platform. Almost feels like two separate fandoms. Fascinating.

[uwuthrad]

i think miraak shredded books in apocrypha to make bedding. like a hamster

[uwuthrad]

Welcome back! :) I'm glad to hear you're feeling better, though I'm sorry it happened to you at all ❤️

hey! I'm not dead!

[uwuthrad]

when I feel bad about my ability to write interesting stories I try to think about the skyrim wizard college questline

[uwuthrad]

Positive affirmations:

I deserve a halberd

I should be given a halberd

People want me to have a halberd

I can be trusted to own a halberd

I will be given a halberd one day

People will think my halberd is incredibly hot

[uwuthrad]

people love dagoth ur for the same reasons they hate almalexia.

both of them are power hungry. both are not afraid to use horrible methods to control the people of morrowind who they claim to love and want to protect (corprus and weather machine). both use their past relationships with nerevar in an attempt to manipulate the nerevarine. both use flattery to manipulate the nerevarine. both knew as much as they offer to work together and rule side by side the nerevarine is too dangerous to leave alive and must be killed. it was always going to end with the nerevarine's death.

but i regularly see dagoth ur being painted as sympathetic and misguided, if not outright correct. he is just crazy, he's our best buddy, the nicest bro ever, he's just not in the right state of mind. but almalexia has to be a massive bitch who has no redeeming qualities ever and is stupid and manipulative and evil and bad and should be killed on sight because she's our bitch ex wife.

personally i think theyre both morally wrong and deeply flawed people driven to the point of insanity but who do have, somewhere deep down, a desire to do good. dagoth ur lived through the nordic empire's occupation of morrowind just as almalexia did, and he wants to purge the empire from morrowind and wants to be worshipped by the dunmer as a true god who will never abandon them. almalexia also has some similar goals but believes its vivec and sotha sil holding her back from achieving true independance and the full worship of the dunmer as she deserves. absorbing people into a hivemind through a disease that mutates them is Bad as is using a weather machine to scare your citizens.

almalexia is honestly less extreme than dagoth ur and more clearly warped by the heart. mortals arent supposed to have that kind of power, and it was clear there was a time she was reasonable and sane. dagoth ur is MUCH more warped and clearly insane, because he sees nothing wrong with the death and destruction around him, either because he's okay with it or he's completely delusional. the first dream he sends the player of the wedding everyone else is a corpse but he laughs and talks with them like theyre alive and happy. almalexia is not that far gone (yet, at least)

[uwuthrad]

[uwuthrad]

jzorbo