uwuthrad

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johnny cash could wear the amulet of kings

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Gdi

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So Bethesda's reasoning behind forcing a Miraak kill was that they had failed at creating a compelling dilemma. Originally you were going to trade some sort of tome to Mora, and they realized that no one was going to turn down saving a cool ass renegade cyborg sounding Dragon Priest for their little skill tree bit.

The thing is that this would have been ridiculously easy to fix with an addition of literally ANY interesting mechanic. So being a Miraak stannie, here are a few things the questline itself could lock behind Miraak's death to make me consider killing him:

Trade Dragon Souls for a Reduction in Shout Cool Down Time - A 1-2% increase for every shout spent. Actually gives the player motivation to seek out dragons and play a Thu'um build.

Trade Dragon Souls for an Increase in Shout Power - Fire Breath is one of the coolest in game shouts, and you get the fire Wyrm if you kill an enemy -- yet at higher levels it becomes almost useless. This goes for quite a few shouts.

Stacked Vahlok the Jailor Spectral Follower - A summon isn't enough to make me want to kill Miraak, but a spectral follower? That's cool as fuck. It makes sense, since you absorbed Miraak's soul, that Vahlok would want to follow you. Literally no one in their god damn mind would want to fuck with you and your floating dragon priest ghost going suplex city

Vahlok's Mask - Locking the final dragon priest mask behind a decision would actually make collectors twitch.

Marry Frea - Stupid as fuck that you can't marry Frea. Conversely, if you spare Miraak, you should be locked out of any remaining Skaal quests and merchants.

Ability to Craft Dragon Priest Armor - Yeah this would just be unbelievably fucking goated and I think you should get this regardless of decision if you collect all the masks, but whatever.

Bend Will That Actually Works - The ability to create up to two living thralls instead of two dead ones, effectively allowing you to increase your follower count, ie, you could have Teldryn, Serana, and Ralis at once.

Maybe someone who mods better than I do can tell me if these would be difficult to add, but honestly, I don't think a lot of them are as I've seen plenty of mods along these lines.

The pure laziness that went into the Dragonborn DLC -- which is fun, but criminally short and contained -- in comparison to the Dawnguard DLC is irritating, and it's even more irritating to know they had the voice lines ready to go and everything and decided to cut an actually good plot point last minute.

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Elder Scrolls is fascinating to me because the vast majority of the background information of the setting is very obviously written by people with an admirably clear-eyed understanding of how history is mainly just groups genociding the shit out of each other before constructing post-hoc rationalizations of why that was a cool and good thing to do, if they bother justifying anything beyond the level of Might Makes Right. And then the actual main quest plots are often operating at Sword Hero Cleanses The Undesirables levels of These Are The Bad Guys, Kill Them Because We Said So

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Historians always talk about how impressive Martin Septim's translation of the Mysterium Xarxes is. And like yeah, translating a daedric artifact in record time with minimal effects to your sanity and well-being is impressive. BUT I think everyone forgets the fact that he did it while also getting his dick sucked clean off by the Hero of Kvatch which only makes it even more impressive.

The man was a truly gifted scholar.

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Skyrim mods becoming too immersive

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Worst Places to Jerk Off in Skyrim

In no particular order, as they are all shit in their own ways :P

Redwater Spring

Unless you are a vampire or werewolf then you are getting all the diseases. And if you are a vampire, don't do that to the food??? Unless, you're into that 😏

2. Altar of Molag Bal

I don't even need to say why, y'all already know. If you are so inclined (I'm not kink shaming I'm kink asking why) go to the one in Castle Volkihar at least. Don't do it in Markarth my guy

3. The Dwemer Lockbox at Septimus Signus's Outpost

Okay, this might just be me but it would be impossible to have a good time inside a giant Dwemer mechanism with Hermaeus Mora lurking around. HOWEVER, I am aware I am posting this on tesblr on monsterfucker.com so if you are an enjoyer of tentacles than this may be a top spot. You do you bestie, have fun becoming a Seeker someday <3

4. The Chantry of Auri-El

Gelebor has been through enough

5. Frostfall Lighthouse

You probably don't want to anyways

6. Inside Tel Mithryn with Neloth is there

This also has the caveat as some of you (including myself to an extent) are into Neloth. That said, I feel like he would absolutely destroy you with insults that even if he didn't ban you you'd never come back

7. The Warren

Wahoooo second Markarth location! Incredibly depressing, would not be a good vibe

8. The Chill

It's fuckin cold my guy

9. Yngvild

Also cold but more importantly, Arondil has major issues. The room of dead women, the contents of his journals NOPE I am kinkshaming him

10. The Butcher's murder room in Hjerim

Let's offer the dead some peace since we cannot bring the killer to justice as the quest is always broken!!!

Feel free to add your own picks, we could also do a list of the best places ;)

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just like having a pet is a constant cycle of asking "what have you got in your mouth now?", modding skyrim is a constant cycle of asking "what are you crashing for now?"

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Me walking out of Nchuand-Zel with 950 pounds of Dwemer Metal shoved up my asshole

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i understand why tes dragons dont reproduce like traditional dragons n all but the image of a tiny baby dragon in the tes universe is important to me

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Year 1-5 of Skyrim being out: WOOOOOOOOW!!! Look at this sick war hammer Malacath gave me! This is so awesome, I-- YOOOOOOOO!!!! THAT DRAGON IS FIGHTING A GIANT, LET'S GOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Year 5-10 of Skyrim being out: I am roleplaying a deeply religious Dunmer. I will ONLY use the Ebony Mail, the Ebony Blade, and Azura's Star. I will follow their teachings, and only their teachings. The only times I don't follow their teachings is if I am literally forced on another path. I will shun and destroy any deity that is not Maphala, Boethia, or Azura. The Good Three are my light and my way.

Year 10+ of Skyrim being out: Hello Generic NPC. I know things about you. So many things. All of the things. I know where you sleep. I know what factions you're a part of. I have the sound of your foot steps memorized, I speak your words before you do. I desire for you, Generic NPC. Oh, not for anything as complex or personal as lust, Generic NPC. Nor hate. Nor is there any judgment here, Generic NPC. My reasons are more ancient, more sinister and, yes, more benevolent than anything you know too. I will follow you home, Generic NPC. I will watch you sleep, Generic NPC. I will cook only the meals you consume, Generic NPC. I will become you, Generic NPC. I will--

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Reading TESblr lore opinions and reading TES Reddit lore opinions is like getting glimpses of two completely different planets. It’s so funny. People have completely opposing differences and common conceptions that you can’t even find reference of in the other platform. Almost feels like two separate fandoms. Fascinating.

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i think miraak shredded books in apocrypha to make bedding. like a hamster

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Welcome back! :) I'm glad to hear you're feeling better, though I'm sorry it happened to you at all ❤️

hey! I'm not dead!

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when I feel bad about my ability to write interesting stories I try to think about the skyrim wizard college questline

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Positive affirmations:

I deserve a halberd

I should be given a halberd

People want me to have a halberd

I can be trusted to own a halberd

I will be given a halberd one day

People will think my halberd is incredibly hot