utaknalagingpuyat

[utaknalagingpuyat]

home sick...

they said you'll get used to it as time passed by...

but it's been 2 years and 7 months and a month of vacations in between..

i don't know why memories and feelings keeps coming back.. longing for those days when everything is okay.. spending hours and hours tossing around the bed until the sun is down..

Is it ADULTing? that makes me miss my childishness? maybe yes, coz' when you're at home you can be a child playing and goofing around pretending nothing but be you. Knowing that whatever you are or you do you will be loved and accepted..

Unlike when you're alone and out there.. you need to pretend to be strong and fight the world..

or maybe no? maybe it is just my excuse..

That's why i miss home....

i miss being weak around them...

😢😢😢😢😢

#kontingTamblingPa #helpMeGod💪

[utaknalagingpuyat]

realizations in the wee hour of the day..

maybe I'm forgetting the whole point of existence... to live and love... to live in the moment.. to give until you're broke.. to test how big your heart... to see the good in everything.. to change for the better... (ang iksi nang buhay para ilugmok ang oras at panahon sa mga bagay na di kailangan masyadong bigyan ng atensyon.. masarap mabuhay lalo na pag payapa...) #Blessed

[utaknalagingpuyat]

chaos...

I didn’t know where it all started.

Maybe I wasn’t paying close attention.

Or maybe it was insensitivity that blinded me.

When you wake up in the morning and trying to convince yourself that everything is perfectly fine. Going throughout the day with the routines you made and trained your mind. Everything and everyday seems like the same with a little bit of differences. 

Then within a snap..BOOM.. you're in a chaotic world. How life drastically turned 360degrees from where you are standing. Away from your comfort zones, sleeping in a different side of bed, eating on a different table, couching in a different sofa, etc.

 Problems come and go. There’s reason and season for everything.- It might sound cliche but yeah, it is true. Money, work, food, career,material things, and whatever it is, they are all temporary. In a glimpse they can be gone and in glimpse you can have them. But relationships??? You need to spend time and effort to build it and with one mistake it will never be the same.

Problem becomes a problem when we don’t know how to handle it. When dwell on the negative side rather than the positive side. 

I hate problems not because of the headaches and sleepless tiring nights it give. But what i hate about it is how it crashes relationships when it suppose to build a strong one. I think that the most devastating scenario one could have. 

CHAOS.

[utaknalagingpuyat]

conversations.....

rules all relationships...

[utaknalagingpuyat]

remember me...

27..

Twenty-seven..

I think that’s what life is all about. Knowing your purpose and knowing what matters the most.

Its been 27 years. 

27 years of roaming around and chasing for the things I thought that will complete and satisfy me. Running aimlessly towards the endless road not even knowing where it is heading to. Living life as if you own it. 

It has been 27 years before I figured out everything.

GOD...

and

RELATIONSHIPS...

[utaknalagingpuyat]

musiko

there are songs that make you fly back to the times where only memories can revive..

#sentimental

[utaknalagingpuyat]

brain freeze....

It’s 14 degrees Celsius, 

unusual freezing cold outside..

dark and gloomy,

and a large whip of wind makes everything blurry...

you can taste the sand as it dangles off your hair, snapping your numbing cheeks, telling you to wake up and stay focus...

Ironically, it is not the weather that makes my mind freeze..

thinking.. analyzing... deciding... thinking... analyzing... deciding...

it’s a cycle...

and seems like I’m stuck at it..

freezing my mind to what seems to be like an endless cycle...

when all i want is just a simple contented happy life...

i know this season will end...

just writing what my mind is up to..

hoping this could break the brain freeze I’m having....

P.S

Sabi nila ang gamot sa brain freeze ay pagkain ng malamig din...

(konek? ewan ko din..hahaha..just breaking this serious mode..)

[utaknalagingpuyat]

SULAT…

ilang letra, tinta, at papel ang lumipas kasabay ng oras at panahon… ilang beses nagtangka ngunit kulang sa gawa.. ang daming nais sabihin ngunit wala ni isang tinig ang narinig..

mga damdamin at pala-isipang kinimkim na niluma na ng panahon…

#sulat

[utaknalagingpuyat]

why is it so easy to be cynical when it comes to love? when Love is the only thing that makes us happy and alive...

why?

[utaknalagingpuyat]

ESCOLTA

kaninang umaga pag gising ko pakiramdam ko bata ulit ako.. bumalik ung mga ala-ala noon.. yung mga panahong gigising ng maaga.. pilit ginigising ang diwang nais pang matulog para lang pumasok sa paaralan… tatayo..pupunta sa CR.. titiisin ang pag buhos ng lamig na tubig sa katawan kahit na gustong gusto iilag ang katawan dito… mabagal hanggang sa mabilis.. buhos dito buhos doon.. nagmamadaling matapos ang pagligo para mabalutan agad ang katawan ng unipormeng mainit init pa… paglabas sa CR, malalanghap ang amoy na mainit na kape at sinangag na kanin na ang kapareha ay itlog na may kamatis.. sino ba naman ang hindi magigising ang diwa sa kapeng may kasabay pang sermon ng nanay at tatay? umagang punong puno ng pangaral wala pa nga sa eskwelahan..

maya-maya pa ay maririnig na ang malakas na busina sa labas.. andyan na ang service.. madilim at malamig pa sa labas.. magtatahulan ang mga aso kasabay ng paghuni ng mga ibon at tilaok ng manok.. pasikat na ang araw kasabay ng mga dilaw na ilaw sa escolta… mabilis na aandar ang sasakyan.. at ang tanging tanawin na makikita ay ang mga asong nagkakandarapa sa paghabol dito.. memoryang tumatak pagkat limang beses sa isang linggo ganito ang eksena.. eksena sa escoltang kahit kelan hinding hindi ko paagsasawang balik balikan..

ngayon, nasa panibagong escolta na ang aking mga paa, nagtatanong kung hanggang kelan lalagi dito… hanap hanap ang dating escoltang dinadaanan ko…

[utaknalagingpuyat]

ito pala ‘yon.. ito pala ang posible.. ang posibleng inakala ko dati ay imposible…

kung saan nagtatagpo ang dalawang magkaibang bagay… kung saan ang isa ay nagbibigay liwanag at isa naman ay kadiliman..

ang sarap pagmasdan.. pagmasdan kung paano mag usap ang dalawang magkaibang bagay.. kung paano nag paparaya at nagpapasakop ng buong buo ang isa, sa isa… pagpaparaya at pagtitiwala ng walang alinlangan sa pangako ng isa, na darating ang panahon na ang isa naman ang magpaparaya at magpapasakop…

ito pala 'yon.. ang imposibleng posible.. sa gitna ng paglubog ng araw at pagsibol ng buwan..

[utaknalagingpuyat]

dreams..

panaginip.. ang weirdo kung kelan ang sarap ng tulog mo doon pumapasok yung mga panaginip na matagal mo nang binaon.. hindi ko masabi kung bangungot o hindi.. dahil parte nang panaginip ay gusto ko din... #subconscious

[utaknalagingpuyat]

thanks for giving me another treasure trove of memories... #bitin #LaUnion

[utaknalagingpuyat]

finding my placid place... #iWillBeStill

[utaknalagingpuyat]

1Corinthians 13:4-8 #❤💙💛💚💜

[utaknalagingpuyat]

luha

kelan ka huling lumuha? may luhang galing sa sakit.. sa tuwa.. sa inis.. sa galit.. sa takot... sa kaba.. sa lumbay.. sa iba't- ibang emosyon.. kung minsan pa nga magkakahalo pa.. ilang oras lang kanina, ilang maliliit na luha ang pumatak sa mga unang nakapaligid sa akin... nabasa pero hindi nalunod... magkahalong tuwa at sakit ang dahilan.. tuwa... na ramdam na ramdam kong mahal ako ng nasa taas, na kahit nasa isang sitwasyon akong hindi ko hawak o makontrol, andyan SYA para isalba ako..Yung hindi ko pa hinihingi alam Nya na kailangan ko... ang sarap sa pakiramdam.. Lungkot.. dahil dun ko napatunayan na totoo pala yung sinasabi nilang; "sa oras ng kagipitan doon mo malalaman yung tunay na nagmamalasakit sayo at yung hindi ka iiwan..." masakit man pero nagpapasalamat pa rin ako kasi ngayon alam ko na kung ano at sino ang tunay na nandyan para sakin.. ikaw kelan ka huling lumuha?.. #angDamiKongNatututunan #turningNegativesIntoPositive

[utaknalagingpuyat]

moonlight over dubai... 🎵🎶🎵#postDuty