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“I’m back” - Michael Scott

I think I want to start reflecting on the world wide webs again. 

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Concrete Jungle-gym where dreams are made of.

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trust is sending an ugly snapchat for ten seconds

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C’mon, guys. Hug it out.

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That feeling that you get when you know something is really really right, or really really wrong, is just as important in business and innovation in your careers as it is in love and relationships.

Emma Gibbs ... TED talk

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Master Chief must have the worst hat/helmet hair of all time

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Seasons *leaf emoji*

GOOD NEWS MORE WORDS.

SO today I am really digging the “seasons of life” metaphor.Or really just the “seasons” metaphor. I think the soul has seasons. A quote from the book I’m reading (Simply Tuesday by Emily Freeman....you should definitely read it if you are alive and living life) stuck out to me this morning, on the subject of seasons and specifically winter: “I need the reminder that new life comes when the old life dies”. It reminded me of ANOTHER quote (found on pinterest - not ashamed) about fall that says “The trees are about to show us how lovely it is to let the dead things go”. 

BOTH of these quotes really resonate with the season(s) I feel I’m in currently or have been in recently. “Letting the dead things go” has been a powerful part of these last six-ish months. Letting go of things in my heart that are like dead leaves on trees. Things like certain fears, insecurities, and mostly scars. I know “scars on the heart” can sound sort of cliche, and maybe later I’ll find a better way of putting it, but there are wounds that I hadn’t payed attention to, that needed to be acknowledged and then let go. Fears and insecurities that did nothing but hinder my ability to relate to other people and be vulnerable (it probably should be said here that this is ongoing, and probably will be for a while). Ways I had been hurt and hadn’t fully healed or acknowledged the pain. 

WHICH brings me to the quote from my book this morning.. “I need the reminder that new life comes when the old life dies”. 

Winter is coming soon in the city. I’m still fully enjoying the fall-ness of things (fall is SERIOUSLY beautiful here), but there are signs of winter coming everywhere - from the tree at Rockefeller, the Christmas music & red cups in Starbucks, planning for holiday travelling, AND I had my first hot coffee of the year a few days ago. Slowly but surely, we are all anticipating the coming winter-ness. 

So what does this have to do with me? Well, I feel like my soul has been in a state of season-changing along with the weather. It began with me letting the dead things go. And when I let the dead things go, I (am) entering into this winter-type season in my heart. I don’t mean a depressing cold-dark-and-empty-winter heart-season, I mean the winter that makes everything kind of hushed, that prepares us for new life in the spring. There is a sort of peace in the air, people are more kind, and I keep coming back to this image of sitting in a coffee shop with a warm drink (probably a school assignment in the works) while the weather does its winter-thing outside. Or sitting in my living room at home, by a fire. The image of warmth, quiet - the position of my heart being gratitude, stillness, and savoring quiet moments and little things that bring me peace. Appreciating and savoring who God made me to be, resting in my identity, letting dead things go, and readying myself for newness. New friends, new routines, new traditions, and new phases of life. This winter is a reminder that new life comes when old life dies, and I’m thankful for the new life I’ve been given. 

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Endings.

Today was my last day at #Starbucks. The end of an era. The leaving of a place that has been steady (even if not always positive) throughout many unsteady moments in my life. The last 2 + years have held more hurt, fear, and change than any other time in my life. All throughout, though, I got to say “oh, I work at Starbucks” to people who asked. And I got to show up to work regardless of what was happening outside, and put on a smile (and usually laugh some) and serve people caffeine. While working there, I learned about the coffees (which I never got tired of, thankfully), I learned about customer service and about working for a corporation (the good, the bad, and the ugly), I learned about being a (good-mostly) employee, and how to work on a team. I learned a lot about myself, others, and being a working girl. 

BUT what I am thinking of on this day, as I walk out for the last time, make my last drink as a barista (it had pumpkin in it and I’m not ashamed), and hug my sweet and hilarious partners is just that - the people. There are a lot of things I will not miss about my Starbucks work (I never want to see you again, 4:30 AM), but I WILL miss the sweet occasional customers who would exchange more than the average “can I get...”, I WILL miss trying to make foam art (I MADE A DINOSAUR ONE TIME), I WILL miss jokes with coworkers, I WILL miss learning about all things coffee-related. I had so much fun with you, Starbs, I am really glad I filled out that application and showed up that one day to meet the manager.

I just needed to reflect out loud in writing a bit. Now carry on with your day. 

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Today I needed a sick day and simplicity.

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If a linkin park song plays in the forest and there’s no one around to hear it, in the end, does it even matter?

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It's just a crazy beautiful day today. #nyc

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It was surreal, somber, and powerful to be in this city today, to stand where it happened, and to see the names of so many that we lost. #neverforget #911 #nyc

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New Trailer: Star City needs the Arrow. 

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Can I do a #tbt on a Saturday? Is that allowed? 👆🏼 this is 3 years ago-me doing my favorite thing in my favorite place. I tried really hard earlier to think of what I would do "if you told me then (only three years ago) where I'd be now.." but I just couldn't decide how past-me would respond to present-me knowledge. And it made me think...I am really grateful for not knowing what's coming. I'm grateful I didn't know then and I'm grateful to not know now. Because maybe I would be afraid, maybe I would doubt myself, maybe I would hurt, or maybe I'd be too excited to live in the present. Maybe a little of all of those things? It's a good reminder now, when a lot of things in my life feel open-ended, to lean in, walk slow, and find peace in not knowing. That's kind of the adventure, isn't it? What do they call these things? Insta-blog? Tiny-blog? Mini thoughts? #nailedit