usafter18 - Tumblr blog

[usafter18]

Run Away

I am a person who tends to run away whenever confused. To me life is very confusing. I have told everything about myself in my previous blog. So after I completed my 12th I was very confused about what must I opt as my undergraduate. I belong to a business background family so I have seen everyone take up BBA or BCom so I had Journalism in my mind which was declined by my father so I had to end up taking BBA, so before I opted for BBA I took up BCom with CA so I could not cope up with CA I shifted from BCom to BBA as all my "so called" friends were in BBA. After quitting CA I was questioned at home about leaving CA so I ran away to a Trek for almost 10days then when i came back I was told to take up something alongside BBA that is when I took up CS. I cleared my CSEET exam but during that time had separated myself from everyone. I don't know I don't think i remember but I lost touch with all my friends, they got busy in their lives I got held up overthinking in darkness... So that was a period I can't remember or rather I can't explain. It was like I was cut from the whole world. Meanwhile my parents were worried about me not going to college and I did not go because I had no friends. My fam thinks that it was a reason for me being lazy. But I can't actually explain my emotions I am going through. So now I completed my cseet exam and am waiting to write my first sem exam and also I am not going to college so I think I desperately need someone I can talk to who does not judge me and someone who can listen. I am so done I have so much to tell/write to you'll but I don't know from where do I start....it's all just getting mixed up and eating me inside. I am going mad and I can't talk about it in my house cause mental health well being does not exist in India

[usafter18]

My Version of My Story

We as students are always told that life is set once your 12th STD is over. I believed that and enjoyed my life until my 11th. Then a storm hit me in the beginning of my 12th COVID-19. I have always been an introvert and it takes me time to open up to people,but after thanks to lockdowns I have now become a Sociopath who is always Socially Awkward. But I did try my best to overcome it in 1st yr of college by trying to make new friends, but that just gave me social anxiety. We are never taught what life is, but are expected to live it like we've already been through that path a million times. My life changed completely after I turned 18(after 12th). I learnt that life doesn't get set after 18. But it starts to get messed up after 18. Come to my next blog to know more about it❤️