This is where I throw my shits, without any remorse or filter.
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
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I long for the option to shutdown, breakdown, and disconnect from the world.
Even just for a short amount of time
However, that is a luxury I cannot seem to afford as of now.
Maybe in another lifetime
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Maybe in another lifetime
We'll be able to feel that ray of sunshine
We always craved
Maybe it's not yet
The decisions we won't regret
But roads are already paved
Maybe we'll get there
At shore with feet bear
The breeze strong and brave
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I don't usually look up to a lot of people within my family
I don't usually connect this much
But when one of those few people pass
It's hard hearing news like that
The world lost one good soldier today
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“There’s nothing more intimate in life than simply being understood.”
— Brad Meltzer
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Salient points I want to use for when I become a univ prof
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Where do you pick up the courage and energy to keep going when everything feels like draining out
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Maybe I was not meant to be given a flower
Not because I was not worthy
But because it's only gonna be a clutter
A memory
Of a glass shatter
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Iwan natin Silang lahat
Tayo muna hanggang sa pagdilat
Saglit lang
Tayo munang dalawa
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I am not ready for a relationship. For something serious. I cannot embrace the idea of vulnerability to the point where I could get hurt again. Not that much. Not again. Plus, how I coped with a heartbreak was messy. Yes, I do not ever want to be in that kind of lump again. I do not want this to be a loop. I am scared. Of the possibility of going through those. And. I feel disgusting. I feel unlovable. After all I have been through, I feel that maybe my role for this world is just to be a temporary fix to everyone I meet. I scratch for an itch. A disposable patch for holes that are yet to be filled. Silk. A suture material to be removed after a few days or weeks.
Maybe I am destined to be alone. And its fine, I guess. I just have to sit with the familiarity and warmth of it.
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Sana mahalin mo pa rin ako sa mga oras na hindi ako buo
At tuwing ako ay Hindi mo tanaw
Sa Umaga at tanghaling hubo
Tulad ng buwang sa gabi lamang lumilitaw
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I have this again
To cut the veins connecting my heart and my palms
And I don't know who to run to
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