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I've been thinking about isolationism and how that wasn't really something I felt was going on with me as a child. But it actually very much was. And it's both just my grandparents on both sides forbidding me to watch any non explicit Christian media when I was at thier house. My mom really likes to view herself as different, as like she's cut from a different cloth and I think the version of her now yeah that's true. The version who went through therapy and almost lost her children and had to face how harmful she was to us, yeah that woman now? Cut from a different cloth.

But when I was a child? I couldn't watch spongebob. Everything on cartoon network was banned. Most things on nick were banned. I had PBS and I hade some shows on Disney.

When I went to school I really diddnt know what anyone else was talking about ever, because I wasn't allowed the TV they were.

Even some stuff on PBS diddnt pass.

I was isolated as a child because nothing I was learning, nothing I was watching, was in lieu with the other kids my age.

I read alot, and my parents never got into the way of that, the closest was some church member telling me that getting too into philosophy would tarnish my conection to christ, but I was a teenager at that point and didn't believe anything for a second anyways

I spent my whole childhood feeling like I didn't fit in anywhere

And when I rebelled by (reading camus the horror) I lost anyone who even pretended to like me

I was isolated as a child even though I went to public school

I didn't know anything anyone was talking about

And when I got old enough to think for myself, I was thinking well beyond most of my classmates because they never had a world view destroyed

And all that's to say remember isolationism doesn't only effect home schooled kids in the middle of nowhere

It effects everyone who was born in a cult

And I'm tired of people blaming the fall of America on rural communities when that shit is happening everywhere, there are children everywhere that are growing up in a cult, you just won't see it, but they are there, we were there the whole fucking time

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when the wifi says "connected without internet" how about i fucking kill you

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I don't even have the energy to be mad about it, right now, I'm just so confused.

how? HOW do you vote for this man?

how do you see his massive breakdowns and name-calling and threats (against American people, even!) and think, "yes, this is the man I want in the oval office"???

we'll see what the final numbers are (especially with california only 53% reporting), but right now he's even winning the popular vote by about 5,000,000 votes.

how do I go out tomorrow and look people in the eyes knowing most of them voted for this man?

how did they listen to what he was ranting and think "ah yes, that makes sense to me, I'll go ahead and elect him president"???

with all his threats of retribution, should I even be posting this?

I just remember in 2016, one of my family members who freaking voted for him the first time got scared when he actually won. she was that freaking worried that her taxes might get raised under a democrat that she voted for a republican who scared her when he won.

and then she voted for him two more times.

how many people like her are out there saying the same thing she did in 2016: "Oh, no...I didn't think he'd actually win..."?

what did you think would happen???

I hope that little bit of money you might save is worth it.

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you know shits bad when every post you see is "its gonna be okay" "please dont kill yourself" "we can get through this"

why does it feel like i should hold a funeral for the country i live in

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You know what, bitches? We’re staying alive out of pure spite. For all this bullshit is worth. I refuse to just lay down and die for four years because some orange who wants to fuck up democracy won.

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Someone better JFK that orange cunt real fast or we’re all fucked

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I grew up evangelical, it was my whole world until I was around 11 and my parents left the church. They couldn't tolerate the homophobia anymore so they left. But now I'm 25, and I'm watching the cult I grew up in run rampant and destroy the only country I've ever called home. I can't help but wonder how many people that used to hold me, used to love me, voted because they don't believe my wife should exist. That I'm somehow so evil for being non-binary that I don't deserve safety. How many people prayed with me when I cried, how many people soothed me when I was waiting for my parents, how many people who asked where I was every year at summer camp, who said I was the best thing that ever happened to them, voted against me and themselves. I was so afraid to come out as bi; I diddnt, until my wife transitioned and I had to. All of these people who used to hold me close, tell me everything was going to be okay, tell me to just believe things will get better for me, that if I'm a good enough person God would reward me, they'd wish to see me dead. I was terrified of them as a kid, but now I just feel betrayed. How dare you take my childhood away from me, and then come back and ask for more when I'm an adult? How fucking dare you? And how fucking could you?

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To all the trans people who see this tonight, no matter what happens, we will survive. Trans people will still be here 4 years from now and 10 years from now and 100 years from now and tomorrow. We have always existed and we always will. The world cannot unlearn about us; we are too public, too loud, too beloved, too present. Ill be here tomorrow. Please stay here with me.

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going through my drafts. what did i mean by this

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I understand that museums have to be dark because light can destroy fragile artifacts. That said, I’m always afraid to walk around the blind corners because what if there is a skeleton

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I told my students they're allowed to be creative and don't have to be factual when writing about themselves in German because I keep getting questions like "what if I don't have roommates or what if I don't have hobbies" and I'm like guys just make something up! Have fun! I won't fact check you!

So now I am grading homework where a student is claiming to be from North Korea and his hobby is tax fraud

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so you're telling me that the Catholics have a new mascot that's a cute anime-style blue-eyed teal-haired anime (girl(???) or boy, possibly???) and her name is Luce? As in latin for light, so they're a bearer of light? like... Lucifer? Okay.