urlocalmapache

[urlocalmapache]

A well documented research

Comedy with little bit of angst Or angst with a little bit of comedy? Depends on your perception, I guess.

Lilia, Malleus and gender neutral reader 1650 words

⚠ English is not my first language, so this may have some errors! 

Please enjoy! 

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In his long life, he had never felt true terror.

At least, not until he saw you holding your stomach tightly as you writhed in pain between the sheets of the bed, tears welling in your eyes and burning with fever.

The worst part of it all, was how utterly helpless and useless he felt.

As one of the most powerful mages in Twisted Wonderland, he never thought he would feel such despair, for no matter what spell he tried to cast, none of them seemed to ease the suffering you were feeling.

For a few terrifying minutes, he really thought you were going to die. Humans are fragile beings, after all.

Your life slipping away like sand between his fingers, without him being able to do anything about it, made him feel such excruciating despair that he would feel a lump form in his throat and an void in his chest by just remembering it.

“It's appendicitis” the doctor said after a quick revision.

Appendicitis? What is that supposed to be? Was it a lethal disease?

“Are they going to die?” he asked bluntly, his heartbeat echoing in his head.

“Not at all” the doctor replied “But they need to go to the operating room right away or it could get a lot worse”

“Operating room?” Malleus's eyes widened with concern. “Is it that bad? What kind of surgery is it? What if it goes wrong? Are there any risks?” Unconsciously, he held your hand tighter, reluctant to let you go.

Didn't the operating room mean that they would cut your skin open? Wasn’t it dangerous? What if the doctor accidentally rearranges your organs in a different order and you never be you again? What if something goes wrong?

What if this was the last time he would see you breathing? What if the doctor ended up making everything worse?

If not even a fae as powerful as him could do anything to help, what was left for a human?

“Malleus” Lilia called him in a soft voice, placing his hand comfortingly on his shoulder “The doctor knows what he says and what he does. Let him do his job.”

And though he wanted to keep you by his side where he knew you would be safe, and hold you tightly until the pain fades away, with a bitter feeling in his heart, he had to disenthrall his fingers from yours and let you go, trusting that you would meet again.

As a fae, he perceived the passage of time differently from humans. Usually, hours, days, weeks, months, and even years passed without him even noticing, but the forty-five minutes the operation lasted felt like an eternity to him.

The entire time, he paced back and forth nervously in the waiting room, rain and thunder rumbling outside, while Lilia simply watched him.

“Malleus, you are making everyone in the hospital quite uncomfortable. The nurses already told you appendicitis is not lethal if treated on time” Lilia tried to calm him down “Besides, I assure you they’re in good hands, surgeons do these types of procedures all the time”

“I can’t comprehend it, Lilia” He replied, completely on edge.

“What thing, Malleus?” He asked, looking up from one of the hospital’s magazines.

"Why do humans have an appendix if it will eventually try to kill them when they least expect it?" he said frustrated after hearing the explanation from one of the nurses “What is the purpose? What is it even supposed to do?”

“There are things that even I don't know” He gave a slight laugh, trying to raise the spirits a bit. “I guess it's another enigma of humans...”

When the doctor appeared in the hallway, he hurried over to him, the heels of his shoes clicking against the floor. The poor man trembled in his coat, and a drop of sweat slid down his forehead as he faced a green and demanding pair of eyes.

“How are them?” he asked directly, willing to lose no time with formalities.

“The operation was a complete success” the doctor replied, hiding behind the clipboard he was carrying around “You have nothing to worry about”

“Finally! It was about time!” Lilia exclaimed, cheerfully jumping up and putting aside the magazine he was pretending to read “I told you, Malleus” he smiled warmly “nothing to worry about”

Malleus sighed in relief, and magically, the storm outside subsided, letting the blue sky peek through the clouds.

“So, they will be fine, right?” He insisted “They’re completely out of danger now, it's not going to get any worse, and they won't have that awful stomach ache, correct? They are now… Appendix-less, aren’t they?”

“Yes, you could say so”

“May I see them?” He asked anxiously.

“S-Sure,” he replied, mostly because he was afraid to deny the fae. Usually, he didn't have to deal with faes at the hospital, since faes don’t have to deal with all the sicknesses and infirmities of a human, and it was rather unnerving to have two demanding faes in front of him “They’re in the recovery room, but you have to know that even though they’re already waking up, their brain is still a little…”

“A little what?” he asked, and flaming lightning suddenly split the sky in two.

“Confused, to say the least” He answered, and took several steps back, “But I assure you is nothing to worry about, it’s completely normal during these procedures”

“I understand…” He didn't understand at all. “I am forever grateful for your services. I will compensate you accordingly, but at the moment, I shall take my leave” He said, so regal and formal as always. 

He turned around, and with Lilia following him, he went to see his friend.

He saw you lying on the stretcher, your chest rising and falling peacefully, and finally felt that he could breathe again. An enormous weight was lifted from his shoulders, since he really thought he might lose you.

Quickly, he approached the stretcher and took your hand in his.

“Child of man” he looked intensely into your eyes “Pray tell, how are you feeling?”

“I’m feeling… Quite funny…” you replied weakly with narrowed eyes “Why do you have horns? Are you a goat?” You laughed suddenly, reaching out your arms clumsily to touch his horns. “No... It can't be... What would a goat do in the hospital? The goats go to the vet, silly... Are you lost? You silly, silly goat…”

“Lilia…” Malleus looked at the ancient fae with concern “They are speaking pure nonsense; the surgeon must have broken them…” His eyes turned watery “What are we supposed to do? I want them back…”

Lilia chuckled.

“Don't worry, they aren’t broken at all” he replied, trying to reassure the young prince “Those are the effects of the anesthesia the doctor mentioned, nothing more. They will pass soon enough”

“Are you completely certain, Lilia?” He insisted, not convinced at all.

“Of course.”

“Liliaaaaa!” You called out to him. “Lilia, pay attention to me, Lilia!”

“No need to raise your voice to get my attention” he looked at you with a tender smile “What is it?”

“Come here…” you whispered, gesturing for him to come closer “I have to tell you a secret… But it's very, very secret!” you placed your index finger on your lips “You can't tell anyone, not even the goat…”

The goat? Did you mean Malleus?

“No one at all?” He asked entertained.

“No, you mustn’t! And we must be quiet!” You said, ironically raising your voice again “It’s very, very important and confidential information…”

“My lips are sealed” his smile grew wider “So hurry and tell me everything”

“I have been conducting an investigation on the sly… A very deep and… Professional one” You said “I’ve been… Observing”

“Wow, really?”

“Yeeeessss!” You nodded proudly “And I have come to the conclusion...”

“Yes?”

“That Lilia is…” You looked around, making sure no one else was listening, and whispered softly. “A wampire…”

Lilia burst out laughing, and even a tear came out of his eyes. He had to take several deep breaths to calm down, and hold back his laughter before waking up all the hospital’s patients.

“Please tell me” He asked with laughter bubbling in his throat. “What makes you think such a thing?”

"Exhibit number 1!" You raised a finger in the air energetically “He doesn't like the sun... And you know who else doesn't like the sun...?” You remained silent for a few seconds, and he, playing along with you, pretended to be thinking oh so hard about it.

“Perhaps-”

“Exactly! Wampires!” You interrupted him.

Wampires? He assumed that what you were trying to say was “vampires”.

“I can't argue against that logic”

“Exhibit number B!” You cleared your throat. “He's very pale… Hmmm…” You narrowed your eyes, and reflectively caressed your chin “Very suspicious, don't you think…?”

“I completely agree” He nodded, crossing his arms, pretending to be utterly involved in your little research. 

“And exhibit number 3!” You held up four fingers “He likes tomato juice! Nobody likes tomato juice…! But you know what else is red just like tomato juice?”

“Beats me”

“Blood!” You suddenly blurted “Very, very convenient… Is it a coincidence? Cause I don’t think so!”

“Hmm, you're right”

“And because of that, I'm sure that Lilia is a wampire…”

“I have to admit...” He chuckled “You have a very solid research”

"I know, but I need more evidence to prove the undeniable and bring truth to the light… Or was it light to the truth?" You said, quite lost in your mind “Doesn’t matter, just remember it's a secret!” You said wrapping yourself in the sheets “So don't tell Lilia I told you”

Lilia burst out laughing and this time he wasn’t able to control himself. His stomach ached, he felt like he would run out of breath, and he even started to cry.

“Oh, Lilia…” Malleus called him worriedly, while Lilia laughed uproariously. “I am afraid our worst fears have come true. They did seriously break them…”

[urlocalmapache]

Bloody Tears

Twisted Wonderland x Castlevania AU 

Trigger warning: basically death

Important! English is not my mother language! I’m sorry if you find some grammatical or spelling errors!

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Whenever they saw Deuce, they tried to remain calm and strong, but it was getting harder and harder. Their heart wouldn't take it much longer, they knew that very well.

—Thank you for everything you do for me, Yuu…��Deuce told them weakly, bedridden and wrapped in blankets. He was so sick he couldn't even stand up, he was just a shadow of the Deuce that Yuu loved and missed so much, his skin pale as paper and his eyes glassy—. I'm sorry to be a burden to you.

—You aren’t a burden, you're my best friend —They told him with a slight smile, holding back the tears they so desperately wanted to let out. It broke their soul to pieces to see him like this. Yuu remembered Deuce so strong and full of life, and they would give anything to go back to those times —You'll get better, you'll see, and when you do, you'll cook for me for a whole month —They teased and gave him a bitter laugh, but it was so false, that it didn't take long for it to melt into thin air.

—I will, I will —he replied as he coughed.

—Now eat a little, you need it —They said, passing Deuce a bowl of "soup", just the same poor and insipid food as always: potatoes boiled in water with a little salt. As for them, for the last few weeks, his meals consisted of leftover potato skins.

Ever since Deuce got sick, their expenses had skyrocketed. Apart from working in the orchard, Yuu had gotten a job helping the village baker, but no matter how many jobs they took on, the money was never enough.

—You come home from working all day, just to take care of me… —Deuce murmured with sadness in his eyes— I'm really sorry, Yuu.

—It’s fine, it's not your fault you got sick —They answered, biting their lower lip to keep it from trembling, and fighting the familiar sensation of a painful lump forming in his throat. —. Besides, I do all of this because I want to.

They placed the palm of their hand on Deuce’s forehead, gently ruffling his hair.

The fever had risen even higher.

They were going to crack, but they weren’t going to do it in front of Deuce.

—I'll go get something, I'll be right back —They blurted out as an excuse before hurrying out of the room.

After leaving, they closed the door carefully, walked out of the house, took a deep breath, and interrupting the silence of the night, they broke down in tears. They fell to the ground crying desperately, feeling the serene cold of the night make his skin crawl and the damp earth dirty his hands.

They couldn't keep losing their friends. They would never forgive themself for not being able to help Ace when he fell gravely ill, the guilt would haunt them forever and keep them from sleeping at night. Despite all their efforts, despite all their attempts, they couldn't stop Ace from dying a few months ago.

And now, the exact same story was repeating itself with Deuce.

Again, the same helplessness, the same desperation, the same self-hatred for being unable to do anything.

They were a mere human, they weren’t even a hunter. They were short and weak, they didn't have any kind of influence or power, and they didn't have the slightest trace of magic either.

Were they perhaps condemned to see them die without being able to do anything? They cursed themself for being so, so utterly useless.

And while everyone in their small town was sickening and dying like animals, the church just turned a blind eye, and talked about their God. It made them so angry to see the reverends and monsignors hidden and completely oblivious to the situation, sheltered behind the luxurious walls and precious stained-glass windows of their cathedrals, dressed in their stunning suits and wearing expensive jewelry.

Every time they heard them talk about God, every time their eyes met with theirs briefly during sermons, they felt like throwing up. Every time they heard them speak of compassion and love, their intestines twisted in disgust.

They clenched their fists in anger, nails digging into the flesh and drawing blood.

And there, with the moon as witness, they decided.

They wouldn't let anyone else die, not while their heart was still beating in their chest.

They were fed up with misery.

—Yuu, what you’re saying it's suicide and sheer madness —Riddle told him without any tact—. You have lost your mind, you aren’t thinking clearly.

—I've made my decision, nothing you say can make me change my mind —They answered firmly.

They were ready to go.

They were wearing the best coat they had, their rustic rain boots, a tattered scarf, and a bag with a bottle of water, a lighter, and a map in it, as well as the compass they had stolen from Azul Ashengrotto, knowing that the Leech twins would come for them.

—Yuu, please reconsider —Trey asked with concern—. I know the situation is desperate, but we can't lose you too.

—Trey's right —Riddle insisted. He took Yuu's hands in his and looked them straight in the eye—. Yuu, no one who has ever gone into that forest has come back to tell the tale, besides, no one knows exactly where-

—If no one has returned, then I will be the first to do so.

—No! —Riddle slammed his fists on the table, making the empty plates and cups jump and rattle slightly, his patience wearing thin—. You will just die like an idiot! Stop being so childish! —He exclaimed with a red face— Do you think it doesn't hurt me to see Deuce like this?! Do you think that the impotence isn’t killing me?! —He took a deep breath in a miserable attempt to calm himself—. Yuu, I totally understand how you feel! But I'm not about to let you kill yourself for trying to be the hero!

Yuu took a deep breath, looking away. They knew it wouldn't be easy to break the news to them, and in fact, they would have preferred to lie to them.

—Yuu…—Trey spoke in a calmer, softer voice, just like an older brother. He placed his hands on their shoulders comfortingly— What does Deuce think of all this?

They hesitated before answering.

—He does not know… —They finally blurted out—. I lied to him, told him that I had gotten a job out of town, and that I would be away for a few days... If I told him the truth, he would never let me go.

—Yuu, if Deuce finds out about the decision you've made behind his back, he's going to die, he's not going to be able to take it.

—I'm not here to have this conversation, Trey —They said curtly—. I'm not here to ask what you think about this, I'm not here to ask for your advice, I'm just here to make you both promise, that if anything happens to me, you’ll take care of Deuce in my place.

—And how are we supposed to explain to him that you decided to do something so stupid?! Have you thought about it?! —Riddle asked standing up— You are going to kill him!

But Yuu turned a deaf ear and walked towards the door.

—Yuu! Yuu! Don’t ignore me! —Riddle yelled at them desperately, but he couldn't even make Yuu turn to look in his direction—. Yuu! Listen to me! Please don’t go! —They heard Riddle, and felt him cling tightly to their hand, holding them back for a few seconds—. Please… —he begged— Don't leave me too... Please...

—I’m sorry… I really do, Riddle.

They unlinked their fingers. They didn't look back, for they knew that if they did, they would completely fall apart.

—Goodbye, Riddle. Goodbye, Trey. See you soon.

And without further ado, with only the moon as company and a heart blinded in determination, they set out on his journey, losing themself in the blackness of the night.