uriah2u - Tumblr blog

[uriah2u]

Random thougt

Today I turn 30, i feel old at the same time I feel... well nothing really

I always loved the attention because I was given it as a young boy growing up but then it stoped, story for another day.

I really need to stop being a push over just decide and be. Right now I am spending my day overwhelmed annoyed aggitated because I dont want the attention but here we are.

I have grown increasingly tired of being everyones someone. Doing things for people being apologetic about how I feel.

At this rate I am going to forever be this guy who just does things for people despite not wanting to because I am a people pleaser. I wonder why sometimes but anyway.

Happy birthday bonjo, here you are with no sense of self and finding self in others... goodluck with your thirties

I will learn to say fuck it one day

[uriah2u]

First log 2020

Dear God

I am not okay I am not myself I am drained Please calm my mind heal my heart and take away my worries

[uriah2u]

Right Now....

I feel like trash, I am absolutely trash.

[uriah2u]

Yep

[uriah2u]

Literally

I hate my life

[uriah2u]

Leave me alone

Please!

[uriah2u]

À

This poem is called “everything you ever needed to know about silence”.

You’ll never be more wrong than the first time you say ‘I love you’.

You’ll mean it, sure, but you’ll still be lying.

This poem is called “I didn’t recognise you without your glasses”.

Though you died 5 years ago, Alex, I still write your name on chalkboards and stray sheets of paper.

I always leave out the e: I am not finished with you yet.

This poem is called “how to kill yourself without hurting anyone”.

Don’t.

This poem is called “things that are unfortunately not real”

- like heaven, money, the colour black, family, the phrase “sure I will”. Tomorrow.

This poem is called “things that are exactly like having sex with me”. 

Having a sunburn. Defending yourself in an argument online. Eating one more piece of cake than you actually wanted. The day we realise wrestling is fake. The day you turned eighteen – probably boring.

This poem is called “I am trying to break your heart”. 

Cynthia, if you could stop being exactly like your mother (who is a delightful woman)

for one minute, I could leave you before we discover we’re perfect for each other,

get married, and in forty years have one of us ruin it all by dying.

This poem is called “on watching my ex flirt with a seventeen year old”.

This bad.

Do not like this.

This like watching a puppy fall into pit full of penises.

This poem is called “I am the Michael Jordan of anxiety”. 

I get so nervous, I got an underwear endorsement. 

They pay me to keep my clothes on.

I get so nervous they’re gonna put a silhouette of me chewing my nails

onto a bottle of whiskey.

This poem is called “it has been (and will be) the year of airports”.

I don’t know where I’ll get the money. 

I don’t know what I’ll tell my friends,

I don’t know how we’ll love each other in the nights of cold and quiet, but

airplanes exist. And we’ll fly between where I live and where you are so hold on,

I’m coming.   

This poem is called “don’t give up the ship”.

When the winds are picking up, 

When the sea around you turns from blue to grey,

When the sky grows veins of light before you,

Let your arms become sails, keep the lighthouse at your back.

This poem is called “I don’t know what it is, but I do know where to find it”.

It’s in the light sifting through your bedroom window

It’s in the street when the whole world is pitched and slow

It’s in the basement, where you left it,

It’s in the ground,

It’s in your head.

This poem is called “I cannot answer you tonight”.

No one ever taught me how to pray, so I won’t. 

Instead, I’ll just say this:

God bless the shape your head leaves in my pillow. 

God bless your insatiable hair.

God bless you though the hour is late, for you have come to me at last.

[uriah2u]

What is happiness

What is happiness?

1. Happiness is contentment, contentment is the ability to accept things for what they are and not let them take your joy

2. Happiness is smelling the air, seeing the skies and the people, hearint al the sounds that are around you

3. Happiness starts with knowing who you are, strength and weaknesses, what makes you laugh what makes you smile what makes you cry what warms your heart

4. Happiness is memories, all good and bad, holding on to the good memories remembering every detail of the events

5. Happiness is embracing life with all its challengea success and all it has to offer

6. Happiness is optimizm, refuaing anythi g that tell you it wont work out

7. Happiness is knowing that things may not work put but trying anyway and taking faliure as a lesson

8. Happiness is not fearing anything, not being bound to chains of fear

9. Happiness is being yourself and not caring what people think, living for yourself and betterment of all.

10. Happiness is joy

11. Happiness is taking leaps of faith

12. Happiness is the ability to focus, dedication, persistence and perseveran6

13. Happiness is power

14. Happiness is letting of the things in the past and hoping for a better future

15. Happiness is confidence assertiveness and high self esteem

16. Happiness is independence

17. Happiness is strength

18. True happiness is found in the Lord

[uriah2u]

I wish there was a reset button

self-kindness by juansen dizon

[uriah2u]

My suicide note

My eyes have cried 

a million times, 

now as dry 

as dessert sand. 

My heart has sank 

with no strength to rise 

from the well 

that once held hope. 

My mind is defeated, 

The winner depression, 

Head in hands 

the battle has been won. 

I've given up 

my body's tired, 

Here please, your prize, 

my final breath. 

Please accept it 

it's all I have, 

I'm poor 

in every sense. 

Release me 

have I not fought well? 

I beg of you 

RELEASE ME! ? 

P.S. 

For those of you who read this note, 

Please do not shed a tear, 

My life was done that's all she wrote, 

You all knew the end was near. 

I love you and I always will, 

This is nothing to do with you, 

I know how it will make you feel 

But it's best my life is through. 

This pain is now too much to bare, 

I feel my heart has been ripped out, 

I'm sorry that I could not share 

With you my final bout. 

But alas I must bid you good bye 

Before my courage fails, 

Farewell my friends, tis my last cry, 

I release me from this jail!

[uriah2u]

What is life

I cut the wrist of my left hand 

Drupping, dripping, 

Dieing, sitting here crying 

Sighing, listening to your 

Lying 

Do I even care? 

Do I dare to stare into? 

The eyes of darkness open 

My heart to the sharpness 

Of my heart, my life 

Is at steak 

Writing suicide notes 

In my head, wishing I didn’t 

Say what I said 

Committing suicide 

In my head

[uriah2u]

The truth

[uriah2u]

[uriah2u]

Sigh

Days of endless struggle.

More hopeful pills today,

Trying to appear "normal"

In some sort of way.

It seems that the struggle

Is always here with me,

And I wouldn't be here now

If guilt would leave me be.

I know there's been many

Who've had it worse than I,

But that doesn't always mean

That I wouldn't say good-bye.

People say I have a lot going for me.

I'm sorry, but I just can't see.

I can't see because my worst enemy

Is not my life but inside of me.

Always on a roller coaster,

Not much consistency.

I'm nothing if I'm not up or down.

I'm nothing if just "me."

Very little energy,

Wanting to stay in bed,

Wishing to be enthusiastic

Instead of feeling like I'm made of lead.

Wanting to be excited,

Wanting to care for more,

But when nothing makes sense,

It's hard to focus on the poor.

Cluttered mind, cluttered thinking.

It's hard to keep in touch

With what is happening around me

And not to worry too much.

I feel that everybody is better than me

And that I can't do anything right.

This is how I've felt my whole dang life;

It didn't just start last night.

No confidence, no self-esteem.

Everybody else is right.

To speak my mind is to be a fool,

So I just try to "sit tight."

Any one of these problems

Would be a heavy vice,

But when you have them ALL

Living seems like a roll of the dice

[uriah2u]

http://www.personal-quotes.com/

[uriah2u]