uremmaskye

[uremmaskye]

Oh - oh my God. Seriously? Did you, like, stop? Wait, don’t answer that. I feel better about myself now.

She’s a grown woman, it’s not like she’s never heard the word vagina before. Oh yeah, constantly. I’ve even had an old lady walk in on me sucking her grandson off, the look on her face was priceless.

[uremmaskye]

“Emma. Unless you’re asking what my game is. That would be volleyball.”

“Isabella’s my name, dragons are my game. What’s yours?”

[uremmaskye]

I ... literally shouldn’t be allowed outside. I don’t know why they let me be famous.

Oh my goodness.

[uremmaskye]

Brighten up. I’ll throw glitter at you.

Well… That’s interesting…

[uremmaskye]

“So you like both awesome dragons and tits. What is your name, soulmate?”

“Yep. Yep, that’s pretty much it. That’s what makes the show beautiful.”

[uremmaskye]

I swear, she looked like I’d killed a puppy. You love when that happens? You mean you say shit in front of small elderly women on a regular basis?

That’s hilarious, I love when that happens.

[uremmaskye]

“Nope. Isn’t that the one about dragons and boobahs?”

“Has anyone seen the leaked Game of Thrones episodes? I’m trying to resist watching them but my willpower is fading pretty damn fast.”

[uremmaskye]

I guess I have to watch what I say - I dropped something at the store today and screamed ‘SUCK MY ENTIRE VAGINA.’ The little old lady at the cash register looked horrified.

[uremmaskye]

Wow. I didn’t think I would be imagining Steve Buscemi in a leotard today, thank you.

Congrats, though.

Unless he’s going to be in a movie about gymnasts, I don’t think so.

[uremmaskye]

Oh my God! Steve Buscemi?

I just got one of the best calls of my life. Guess who’s the lead in a new movie?  

[uremmaskye]

I’ll be in my dorm with Free Willy and some Capri Sun.

Are there any parties or anything going on tonight?

[uremmaskye]

Good to know I have someone to tell me the status of the hookers in this town. Exactly what I was looking for.

You’ll see more. Trust me.

[uremmaskye]

“... Are you sure? Like, really sure? ‘Cause, you know, sometimes, it feels better when you talk about it.”

“I really don’t want to talk about it. I’ll get over it.”

[uremmaskye]

“Oh, please don’t tell me there are more prostitutes. I have seen enough boob today, thank you very much.”

"That’s not shocking. I mean, really."

[uremmaskye]

Oh, that sucks. Sorry. Do we know why he quit, or... no?

Yeah, that’s me. And we have a winner. My drummer quit.

[uremmaskye]

“Ah. Good to know. Thank you for the hooker status, good sir.”

"Could be. You’re probably bound to see a lot more though."  

[uremmaskye]

Wait, you’re Brayden, right? Didn’t something happen to, like, your band, or something?

Very much so.