urbanpineapplefarmer

[urbanpineapplefarmer]

Random headcanons:

Lots of New Mandalorians wear armour and practice self-defence, actually. They might not wear full sets of beskar, but armour weave clothing is extremely popular, and so is wearing at least some beskar, even if it’s a piece of family jewellery instead of plate. It has spiritual significance okay? And if you want a finely tailored (and invisibly armoured) piece of clothing, a New Mandalorian city is your oyster. Many businesses have branch stores on Coruscant, that cater to politicians worried for their personal safety. Naboo also has several.

Martial arts are still extremely popular. The only reason they don’t surpass mesh’geroya in statistics is because there’s such an overwhelming number of different sports. Mandalorians don’t traditionally categorise martial arts as sports, but the New Mandalorians have turned a number of the traditional styles into sports with formalised rules and competitions. And because of this, the New Mandalorian cities actually have some of the largest number of tournaments around. Lots of traditionalist mandos go compete on the sly (it’s not against the rules obv, but some of their comrades get snotty about it).

Teraskasi (from the Han Solo movie) is originally a Kalevalan martial art. (Kalevala is the Finnish national epic & Teräskäsi means “steel hand/arm” in Finnish.) Apparently it does have an established origin, pooh. But want to bet that a martial art that was specifically developed to fight against the Jedi was brought to and studied in Mandalorian space?

There’s a “New Mandalorian” version of the bes’bev without the deadly stabbing tip; it’s called the naakla bes’bev. It’s still a 1-2 foot long piece of hardened steel pipe and can absolutely be used as a weapon. (And for this reason, they’re usually alto or tenor flutes.) They’re the preferred instruments of travelling musicians, because they’re easier to travel with offworld where there might be restrictions on carrying weapons in public avenues.

[urbanpineapplefarmer]

Truly hate the way "did this person do something that actually harmed someone" and "do they deserve to be unpersoned for it" are considered the same question

[urbanpineapplefarmer]

there's an extremely niche plot in romance fiction wherein our invariably heterosexual leads fall in love after a night of passion leads to an unplanned pregnancy and they're now bound together by an impending child. I cast no judgment on anyone who enjoys this, but since I'm an evil gay and this is my personal nightmare scenario I want to see a zany romance novel premised on the opposite resolution: a couple falls in love while on a whirlwind roadtrip to obtain a legal abortion

[urbanpineapplefarmer]

v.2

[urbanpineapplefarmer]

obsessed with these photos of an albino (?) brandt’s cormorant. he looks like a sad little turkey

[urbanpineapplefarmer]

“Why are you so upset about adult content bans? You don’t even post that stuff. can’t you just look at porn somewhere else?”

Well, you see, I have this small problem where my very existence is considered adult content by a small but very powerful group of people and I actually rather enjoy being able to exist in public without restriction so uhhhh put that in your bong and smoke it kiddo.

[urbanpineapplefarmer]

The Crouching Venus (Lely version) - Doidalses of Bithynia, third century BC //  Combing Her Hair -  Torii Kotondo, 1929

[urbanpineapplefarmer]

good evening to everyone deranged over a piece of vampire media

[urbanpineapplefarmer]

okay but in the LWW movie when the fox is brought to The White Witch and he says “forgive me, your majesty” and she says “don’t waste my time with flattery” and then he says “not to seem rude, but I wasn’t actually talking to you” and looks at Edmund? literal chills every time a 10/10 artistic decision

[urbanpineapplefarmer]

[urbanpineapplefarmer]

My Wife: whatcha thinking about

Me: Australia used to be populated by giant shortfaced kangaroos that walked like a man.

My Wife: what the fuck

Me: check it out

Unlike modern macropodids, which hop (either bipedally or quadrupedally), sthenurines seem to have abandoned saltation as a means of locomotion. Their comparatively inflexible spines, robust hindlimb and pelvic elements, and the lack of capacity for rapid hopping suggest that these animals walked bipedally, somewhat like hominids, even converging with those primates in details of their pelvic anatomy. Furthermore, their hooved single digits and metatarsal anatomy suggest that unlike their plantigrade relatives, sthenurines were digitigrade, walking on the tips of their "toes".

Procoptodon was not able to hop as a mode of transportation, and would have been unable to accelerate sufficiently due to its weight. Broad hips and ankle joints, adapted to resist torsion or twisting, point to an upright posture where weight is supported by one leg at a time. Its broad hips also allowed for another important modification – large buttocks – a feature shared with other walking species

Me: so yea

My Wife: no but actually what the fuck

[urbanpineapplefarmer]

Put in a fruit and pass it on!

🥭🍓🥝🍈🍇🍍🍊🍉

[urbanpineapplefarmer]

mewithoutYou // Bethlehem, WV 

To which shepherd’s field did which angels descend? Or is blessedness revealed to those of us who best pretend? Some counterfeit ideas form ideas all their own I watched them spread for years to my unsuspecting bones And the nights my heart was tired you sang your saccharine song But when your mouth was quiet was the sweetest sound of all “Soon our ransomed souls will leave this age behind For streets of solid gold”, I hear it all the time

[urbanpineapplefarmer]

'Irredeemable media' is such a funny concept to me because it's never used for stuff like Birth of a Nation or A Serbian Film. It's always The Owl House or My Hero Academia because these people only watch things for children and can't stand any conflict more complex than Super Mario Brothers.

[urbanpineapplefarmer]

[urbanpineapplefarmer]

Stories that would be improved by polyamory:

Dracula: it's basically a novel of kitchen-table polyamory already, but this way someone might actually kiss Jack Seward.

A Midsummer Night's Dream: just let them all have an orgy at the end. I feel like they'd be into it. Puck's invited too if he wants.

Bridget Jones' Diary: why force a choice between Mark and Daniel if there was the option to have both?

Any Arthuriana: less cheating, more honesty, fewer duels, more snogging, everyone's a winner.

Stories that would be made worse by polyamory:

Wuthering Heights: dear God do not give Cathy and Heathcliff a reason to drag more people into their terrible relationship than are already involved.