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And then we have that motherufcker using the built in vocoder on the edge bc of course he is. Of course he fucking is. I’m still so in my feels about him having one now

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My wife and I noticed you from across the bar and we hate your vibe. We are going to kill you

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nico has a mullet I need to gnaw on him like a chewtoy he can’t look like that

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Oh no my secret tentacle monster farm

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still believe that one of the greatest bits of all time was on January 6th, 2021 when. well. you know. and twitter was understandably an echo chamber of panic and fear and Justin McElroy just tweeted a selfie with a filter that was like “have a delicious national spaghetti day” followed by 3 tweets that were like “fuck. i’m sorry. i don’t know how to delete scheduled posts” and as i type this two years later i’m laughing

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Hahaha

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I was enjoying the past 2 weeks of not having to worry about anything and now its all back and I feel like dying

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friend: how are you today?

me: im doing g--[remembers my friend is a rhythm game player and i should accommodate for that] perfect :-)

friend: :-)

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filter on ao3 that only shows fic by women in their 40s who has a degree and works an office job and probably leaves authors notes that are like “sorry for the wait on the chapter guys! i had to give birth to my third kid😂”

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I’ve been wanting to roller skate again so bad lately but wife’s joints aren’t up to it anymore and I don’t wanna skate alone :(

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pro tip “he freed his erection” is the most useful phrase in any smut writer’s arsenal because it means never having to figure out a dude’s pants situation. how did he do it? were there zippers? buttons? some kind of bizarre lacing situation? maybe he cut off his pants with scissors. maybe it was a wizard. maybe it busted out like the hulk busts out of his shirts. no one knows. no one cares. his dick is out now and that is all that matters. thank you helpful dick wizard.

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but if I don't get weird and horny about this then who will

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me getting silly in the pussy if im being honest ?

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If I had a dick I would absolutely get it pierced but coochie piercings terrify me

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the male womb is just located deeper in the man. uou have to try harder

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