upsadaisy

[upsadaisy]

People speak sometimes about the "bestial" cruelty of man, but that is terribly unjust and offensive to beasts, no animal could ever be so cruel as a man, so artfully, so artistically cruel.

Fyodor Dostoevsky

[upsadaisy]

Text: Something with translucent glowing skin and too many eyes to count rises up from the sea, fathoms black below us. It speaks to us inside our own heads: “Be Not Afraid.”

[upsadaisy]

Reverse Tropes

Soulmates - Your soulmate is destined to be your greatest rival in life.

Amnesia - Instead of losing memories, they start getting memories that aren't theirs.

Forced Marriage - Forced Divorce.

Captured Prince - They think they've captured the prince of the opposing kingdom, but they've actually just captured a normal, random civilian.

Chosen one Prophesy - There is a prophecy about *someone* saving the world, but it doesn't actually say who...

Born with Special Marks - It's actually a mark that tells a person what they *won't* be good at.

True Loves Kiss - True Hates Kiss, good luck convincing someone who truly hates you to kiss you.

Love at First Sight - Hate at First Sight.

Rags to Riches - Riches to Rags

Found Family - You need to find your actual, related family.

Misunderstood Villain - Misunderstood hero. They are trying to be evil, why does everyone like them!?

It Was All a Dream - They thought it was a dream, but it turned out to all be real.

Secret Identity - The secret Identity is the one everyone knows, somehow, everyone has forgotten your normal identity...

Villain Defeated by Friendship - Villain defeated by hatred.

Bad Boy & Good Girl - Good boy and bad girl.

Stalking/Obsessive Love - Avoiding the person they like to try and ignore their feelings.

Monster x Hunter - Hunter x Hunter, both thinking the other is a monster, or Monster x Monster, both thinking the other is a hunter.

Hero Gets Framed - The wrong villain gets framed.

Yandere - but it's two going after each other.

[upsadaisy]

“i can’t do this anymore” says a girl who is not only going to do it but do it well

[upsadaisy]

His mouth falls open, seemingly in complete shock. "Wha... What? I don't understand! What are you saying?!" he splutters, continuing to open and close his lips - for all the world looking more and more like a sad goldfish.

You begin to press your knife downwards, using it to enunciate your next words. "I'm saying that if you were a better husband and father, your wife... or should I say 'soon-to-be widow', wouldn't have asked for help making sure she didn't have to fight you in a divorce.

You can see the realization of the situation spread in his eyes. "No!" He screeches. "You don't understand! She's a liar! You don't want to do this... what did she offer you? I can double it! Please, whatever you want, I can't die!"

You laugh again, "I don't think you get it. This isn't just some job I do. It's not about money. I realized how much I loved killing off men like you, the pathetic entitled assholes holding back the human race. All it took was one murder, my father, and it became my passion in life.

You spin the knife in your palm with a practiced twirl, and stab him in the center of the chest. You want him to have time to process his own death, and what he did to cause it.

"I did it for free, just so you know."

Then you watch as blood gurgles past his lips, and another life fades before you.

“Please! I have a wife and children!” He cries under your grip as you hold the knife above him. You burst out laughing, “WHO do you think sent me?”

[upsadaisy]

“source?” divine intuition, gut instinct, and cryptic symbolism from my dreams

[upsadaisy]

“You become what you surround yourself with. Energies are contagious. Choose carefully. Your environment will become you.”

— Unknown

[upsadaisy]

𝖨 𝗐𝖾𝗇𝗍 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗐𝗁𝗈𝗅𝖾 𝖽𝖺𝗒 𝗐𝗂𝗍𝗁𝗈𝗎𝗍 𝗉𝗂𝖼𝗍𝗎𝗋𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝖿𝗎𝗍𝗎𝗋𝖾 𝗍𝗈𝗀𝖾𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗋. 𝖥𝗂𝗇𝖺𝗅𝗅𝗒.

[upsadaisy]

[upsadaisy]

Nothing we ever do really matters...

I once read that nothing we do ever really matters.

At first, reading those words was like taking a bite of a dinner roll only to find moldy dry decay hidden inside. Something built in the back of my throat and coated my tongue, thick and putrid.

I could feel the surprise and outrage as this simple statement took hold and dragged me to an immediate place of anger.

How dare they say peoples’ lives didn’t matter? It all mattered!

Whatever their spiritual beliefs, their family system, their history or age – everyone I had ever met knew it all mattered somehow.

Then I suddenly expanded and collapsed at the same time. My sense of self and life, my own belief system and personal history converging right there in a tangled knot of the world as I saw it.

Instead of following the interwoven but separate threads along their paths, I saw the knot itself.

It wasn’t a knot anymore, it was an ever-flowing and twining thread. The thread had no beginning or end, but continued to mix and separate, all constantly flowing and somehow miraculously never actually tying together.

Did it matter?

Yes… and no.

I am a ball of energy that has been here since the beginning of the universe, and will continue to be here until the end of it.

Whether Christians are correct about the afterlife and my soul ends up in eternal Heaven or Hell. Whether my electrical impulses disperse into the world at large when my body ceases to sustain them any longer. Whether I just fall one day, and I am buried in the ground to decompose and feed mother nature in her ever rotating environmental life cycle.

One day the ancestors or my ancestors will not know me by name, or by face, or my history here.

Even the most accomplished in our human race can claim immortality in the history of mankind.

Sooner or later, each one of us will crumble from the pages of humanity.

Then I read again the line ‘Nothing we do ever really matters’, and I am no longer rage and hostility.

I am appreciation and acceptance.

My time here is finite and does not matter. My time here is infinite and it matters.

[upsadaisy]

“Please! I have a wife and children!” He cries under your grip as you hold the knife above him. You burst out laughing, “WHO do you think sent me?”

[upsadaisy]

"I don't know where things went wrong.”

Was it when I snapped about the comment over my marriage and all thoughts left my head as I screamed and launched over chairs and the table at him.

Was it when I couldn’t sit silent any longer while I listened to him talk about how hard it was being a multi-property landlord, when I had spent the last year sleeping on a floor so my children could have their own rooms.

Was it when I thought I could finish the last few minutes of cooking hot cocoa before stargazing outside, and ignore the conversation pressing in at my temples and turning the pie and turkey in my stomach to acid.

Was it when I agreed to attend Thanksgiving after two years of low contact and missing holidays last year to focus on healthy emotional healing.

Was it when I had asked for them to attend family therapy with me and most of them didn’t even bother to respond.

Was it the years and years of being told I was more capable and therefore didn’t need the same kind of help in life that he did.

Was it when they begged me, a high school drop out with a GED, to do his Senior projects in order to graduate.

Was it when their second baby’s ultrasound technician showed them they’d be having a boy this time.

Or was it already written into the universe on the day when I was accidently conceived, by two people in their early twenties only a few short months after meeting?

“I don’t know where things went wrong.”

"I don't know where things went wrong."